I am exhausted. Emotionally wrecked. Beaten. Bruised. Broken.
Only one thing is really holding me together. The fact that the pieces have finally fallen, the puzzle completed. I can see the whole picture and it is an ugly sight. From where I am standing at this moment it seems that there is no good ending, for anyone. I thought that once I had all the answers that this would become easier but I was horribly mistaken. Now I can see more clearly the paths have multiplied and a single wrong turn can lead to devastating conclusions.
For the past months I've been blinded. Driven mostly by the anger and fear in my heart, I lost my way. I lost the reason why I was doing this in the first place. Ever since Desseray, ever since I died in that pit I haven't felt like myself. It was like I was an empty husk and nothing particularly mattered anymore. The ruins only cemented this notion, steering me to a darker place. But now I have new hope, as little as it may be. I am going to stop being the pawn within this wicked game of fates, its time to take control. I am not the same person that left Ba Sing Se all that time ago. I am not the same scared little girl setting out on her first adventure. I control my own destiny, not the gods, not Na'keks or the host. I have finally take the reigns and it feels...exhilarating.
People died to get us here, heroes that I will remember forever and I will make sure are immortalised in history, the real history. I will make sure they did not die in vain. I will change this world for the better. I will set us on the right path... I have to.