The Sunrise Dilemma

So, I am here now.
 
By the frilliest of Lia Marrin's underwear, I have no clue what the heck I am supposed to do now. The papers have been served, and now I am Lady Sevranus, landholder of Sunrise.
 
This isn't how it was supposed to go.
 
You were supposed to be here, Rhian. You were my rock, my center, my dedicated wisdom. You knew how to farm, how to motivate, how to keep going through more means than just... pig headed stupidity. I mean, Ive got that stubbornness down at least. But you knew what was right and proper. But all I have of you now is your Sword. Plucked from your hand, and still undrawn from its scabbard since that day. I'm going into this alone.
 
Kira, this... this was all for you. This landhold was to be my legacy for you. So you would not have to continue to be a soldier, to not risk your life, to grow up and enjoy life and be more than you ever could have been.
 
And now I have nothing of you. The Enemy took that away. Took you away from me. Every last scrap and piece, but the tangled shard of love I have for you embedded in my heart where not even the gods can pull it loose.
 
And now... Now I hear there are a whole camp of Hobgoblins near my land... And I do not think I can find any forgiveness. Not while my love for you is that broken spear point, jammed into my heart.
 
Forgive me, all I do in your name, Kira.
Forgive me, all I do without your guidance, Rhian.