Lighthouse designers should be subject to a regulatory body

by Zar'ral Helvimtor

We visit the chocobo ranch and learn how to catch a chocobo. Proceeding into the woods, we eventually stumble across a couple of them. Kupo and I approach them, being the stealthiest of our group. Upon being told to keep the chicken quiet, Rex keeps it quiet permanently. One of us trips over and scares a bird off, and Kupo leaves the forest with the other one, guided by Zef.

Me, Vex, and Rex get lost in the forest until I realise that I can navigate better without them and ditch them.

All 5 of us regroup through sheer coincidence, and through even sheerer coincidence find some more chocobos. Through coincidence so sheer that it could be arrested for public indecency, there were precisely 4 chocobos in this group. We catch them after Kupo is brutalised by the largest one and return to the ranch, where we sleep with them.

Rising early, we begin trying to break our 'bos in. Zef informs us that he was educated in bird law, immediately compelling his bird to obey him. The rest of us (except Rex) begin taming our chocobos like normal people, and somehow all of us (including Rex) succeed by the end of the day. The ranch master gives us some magic whistles and we decide to visit the nearby lighthouse, which may or may not be capable of enhancing the power of our alternative medicine implants.

One night on the journey there, I spot some torches in the distance and lock down our camp into stealth mode. Upon investigating the lights, I find a group of orcs heading towards a nearby copse. Taking this knowledge back to the group, they decide to ignore this.

Arriving at the lighthouse, I question the credentials of the lighthouse's designer as it's too far inland and the light is too dim for this building to be of any use as a lighthouse. As we were told, the door does not open. We eventually discover that we must get our weapons out and touch the tips to the door, which teleports us to some sort of magical crystal landscape. Floating rocks that we each perceive differently, an endless expanse of nothingness, and some mirrors that reflect our assigned elements are what we're presented with.

We find that touching the mirrors causes each member of our group to be drawn towards the mirror being touched. We crowd around Kupo's mirror and find ourselves transported to a white room with a robed man praying in it. Kupo discovers that this man is Kupo and this revelation knocks us back to the mirror landscape.

We crowd around Zef's mirror and find ourselves transported to a Gridalian mansion, featuring a woman reading a letter. Zef discovers the letter is his letter and this revelation knocks us back to the mirror landscape.

We crowd around Vex's mirror. Things have been pretty tame so far so I brace myself to watch Vex get rejected by women or crash an airship. As expected, we find ourselves transported to an airship. Continuing to meet my expectations, the airship suddenly begins descending rapidly. Deviating slightly from my expectations, there's a behemoth the size of a small village attacking a village the size of a slightly larger village, but we can still bring things back on track if it rejects Vex.