28th of Frostbringer

Today sucked. Admittedly, not too much happened, or at least not too much compared to one of our usual "the elder gods decided to mess with us" days. See here I was, thinking I might be able to help out the fort a bit and then do some things for myself, but instead the gods decided to rain on my parade, literally. Anyways, episode 4 of the adventures of Lance Fenleth and Jenel Dalael.
 
So last we left off, I was keeping watch as Skolvar slept. I could tell something happened between him and Reina, but I couldn't tell what. I was thinking about talking to Reina about it. Not to go behind Skolvar's back and find out what happened, but to make sure she knows that messing with us won't fly. Instead, Skolvar woke up like a man on a mission. He woke up and immediately busted into "Reina's room" intending to have the same conversation I was going to have with her. Instead, a couple of seconds later, she won. That man on a mission vibe disappeared and he ended up telling her that she could feed off of him if she just asked Sure, as per the terms of this agreement he has to agree to it, but it's Reina. I feel bad for him but also respect his decision because I respect him. I won't get in the way of this deal he has made now, but all I need is one reason to make her fully aware that I'm not going to deal with her shit.
 
After Skolvar's talk with Reina, the two of us discussed the plan for the day. It was a pretty good one if you ask me. We were going to spread word about a couple of things. First, we planned on conducting a funeral pyre ceremony in the evening to burn the bodies. Jenel said there wasn't a funeral pyre ritual related to Eilistraee, but we could certainly make do and turn it into our own thing while putting an Eilistraee spin on it. Second, food and water was going to be created in the mess hall for people to collect as needed. Third, we needed people to help us build walkways from the fort proper to the other buildings in case the rain comes back. Finally, I was going to hold a concert in the evening to raise spirits. Pretty good game plan for the day, but all of that got thrown out the window real quick.
 
Just before I addressed the fort's population about our plan, I noticed the weather was rapidly changing. I assumed this was a shoggoth's doing, but since it had not progressed to rain yet I did not need to test my plan immediately. I gave the people my speech, got people involved and they began to complete the tasks I asked of them. It was at this point that I flew up to the clouds to try dispelling the effect. Remember how I wrote that I couldn't be as easy as using a low level spell on the magic? Well it was, but that just created an even bigger problem.
 
I successfully dispelled the magic that was changing the weather and that pissed off the shoggoths. As I flew down to the fort, the sound of a flute began to play. The bard's flute. Immediately, everyone at the fort other than myself, Skolvar, and Reina clutched their heads and started convulsing. Their noses began to bleed and the effect was rapidly progressing. Thankfully, I remembered that the madness that The King in Yellow afflicted on the soldiers could be combat by my music so I began to drown out the sound of the flute. Skolvar cured Marten and with him safe, Reina took my position as we dragged the people into one of the nearby homes so that they were all congregated around the countersong effect. At this point, it began raining. I figured that the shoggoths were pissed we got rid of their control weather effect, did something to keep us distracted, and then did it again. The shoggoth lord must have seen me do that because I don't think the lesser shoggoths are smart enough to think that way, but we didn't find the monster. Instead, as it was raining, a shoggoth was seen making its way around the fort. Reina agreed to keep playing her music while Skolvar and I dealt with the thing. I wasn't too hurt by it, but Skolvar got pretty roughed up. Nevertheless, we successfully beat it.
 
Skolvar returned to the house with everyone else as I flew around and took a look for more shoggoths, people, etc. I activated my true vision with the hopes of perhaps being able to see the shoggoth lord, but I didn't find it. What I did find however was a crack in the mountain that seemed to be where the shoggoths were crawling out of. We couldn't deal with this immediately because some of our resources were spent, but perhaps we will soon. I returned to Skolvar and the others to talk about a plan.
 
While Skolvar and I discussed what to do , Reina realized that I haven't been hiding my distaste for her at all. Took her long enough right? But once she noticed she actually tried to get me to stop giving her shit about it. I actually found this really weird. Really, really weird. Why does she care? As far as I'm aware she cares about two things in this world: feeding herself, and her kid Marten. I ended up saying that I would stop giving Skolvar shit about the situation, but I have no intention of treating her any better. When I overheard the conversation they had in the morning and found out what she did, she lost what little trust I had in her. I get it, she needs to feed. But she forced herself on him and it was clearly unwanted. Personally, I don't think it's too big a deal if she feeds on the town as long as she isn't forcing herself on anyone. She is really pissing me off though. First, she comes back to the fort and just assumes that the house is hers and she can just pick up where she left off a year ago. Then, she gives us shit about the fact that she came back to everything that had happened lately. Next, she feeds on Skolvar without his permission. Now, she is using her help as leverage to get things out of us. Skolvar let it slip that celestial Reina is in the well and she stopped her countersong when we didn't immediately tell her what was going on. Reina, just give me one more reason to have that talk with you. One reason.
 
Anyways, Skolvar and I don't have a long term course of action just yet, but we decided to start using restoration spells on the able bodied people here. Skolvar and both Reinas can cure madness with lesser restoration, but I can only cast greater restoration. The components are expensive, being diamond dust, so I'm holding on to that unless we need it. A few of the Vistani were helped and a few people from the fort as well, but at this rate it will take a good week and a half to two weeks to cure all of these people. I'm not sure if we have the luxury of sitting in the house we're in and just wait to finish that, especially because without the countersong their state worsens. We do have the well so we could transport them to town, but then we have two problems. First, the two Reinas want to kill each other. I'd hope that the celestial Reina will put helping the people above their feud, but I have no faith that succubus Reina will. Second, these people still need a constant countersong to fight off the madness. As far as I'm aware, Reina and I are the only two people who can do this. Unlike her, I do need sleep, especially since the manse water is gone. I'm more than willing to stay up a few days to ensure that she doesn't do anything, but if we're going to get to town as fast as possible then I'll be flying again. So in other words, we'd have to do whatever Reina requests to get her to continue with her music. I hate it.
 
After we restored as many people as we could, I wanted to take a bit of time for myself. I think one of the biggest lessons I learned about this fight from the journals is that happiness is fleeting, so I try to enjoy it as much as I could. Wanting to chase this happiness, I wanted to look into making chocolate so I could bake that cake for Jenel. Since I've never seen processed chocolate in Mystvale, my best bet is to find some wild cacao beans and process them myself. The idea was to use prestidigitation to make something smell like cacao beans before polymorphing myself into a blood hound to see if I could pick up the scent. But this whole plan was selfish, or at least trying to do it with everything currently going on is. Jenel brought me to my senses and talked me out of it, but looking back on it I'm not sure if I was chasing a little bit of happiness or if I was just fed up with everything that happened and my head wasn't on straight. Either way, I needed that talk. I also want to make it clear that I'm not upset I didn't get to look for chocolate, or metaphorically speaking, happiness. It's not like Jenel doesn't want me to be happy, and I know she enjoys the idea of me baking her a cake. But just because happiness is fleeting that doesn't mean that I can shirk my responsibilities to chase it. I know that sounds sad, that I'm accepting that responsibility comes before my own well being, especially when the group is struggling with all of this self-sacrifice stuff that we've been dealing with. But that's just who we are. Heroes, right? Sometimes putting others over ourselves is just how it goes. And lets be honest, if I'm so worried that Reina is going to do something why would I leave her and Skolvar alone?
 
Jenel also brought up something else during that conversation. It's not something I will explain in detail in this journal just in case someone other than my mom or dad reads it. But nothing is stopping me from writing how I feel about it right? I never thought Jenel would be that upfront! Actually, I suppose it's not too uncharacteristic. It's more accurate to say that it just caught me off guard at the time. I'll leave it at this: I definitely have a lot of thinking to do, but perhaps baking a chocolate cake doesn't have to be the way I chase happiness. Not that I didn't know that already, I just never thought I would be afforded that happiness in this hell.
 
That's what happened today. I'm writing this entry before bed as Skolvar and I are both getting ready to sleep for a bit. I don't trust Reina, but perhaps she'll succumb to her urges and give me that reason. For her sake, she better not. So yeah, today mostly sucked. Mostly. My plans got thrown out the window but we're handling things as best we can. I'm starting to understand how mom and dad felt with all of the shit they had on their plate. We're dealing with a country-wide drought, necrotic rain destroying the fort's population, an angry shoggoth that just knocked the entire fort unconscious, and figuring out how to revive our friends. This comes nowhere near to the amount of stuff my parents dealt with on a regular basis, but every time people suffer there's always that thought on the back of my mind that it's our fault. It's not healthy to think that way, I know. We do everything in our power to help these people, and the reality is that without us they would be much worse off. But sometimes I can't help but think that when, for example, my attempt at dispelling the weather magic made things worse. Guess I get that from dad right? Always taking responsibility for stuff like that. But that's one of the things that makes me a Fenleth and I'm glad to know that I'm like him, even if I do have some of his faults.
 
New years is coming up soon. It's ambitious, but I'm hoping we can get most, if not all of this stuff sorted by then so we can just enjoy a holiday for once. Baking that cake for new years is out the window, but we do have the ingredients to make ice cream. I'll look into getting the ingredients to make some caramel sauce too. At that point all that's left is to hope that I got the cooking genes passed down. I'll never be as good as mom, but if can be nearly as good of a bard as her I could probably be nearly as good of a chef too. But for now, it's back to the manse so I can chase a bit of that happiness.