Session 121

General Summary

• The party ran into the portal, following after Barry who had been sucked into it.
• The portal led to the Astral Sea, where the party all floated around helplessly. They used some rope to make sure they would at least stay together.
• Dwardazik wished that "Steve" were around, which somehow seems to have summoned him.
• They asked Steve to return them to their original dimension close to the Wandering Temple, which he did — far up in the air above a floating island.
• The party's Bag of Holding had come loose somehow, and Dwardazik rushed to retrieve it, but he was swallowed by a giant alligator as he tried to do so.
• The party (minus Dwardazik) attacked the alligator to try to free him (and their Bag of Holding), while Dwardazik seems to have fought the same combat from the opposite perspective. Editor's note: some of this is out-of-game knowledge I'm using to keep this summary concise.
• Once the giant alligator was slain, Dwardazik's unconscious body came out of it, held aloft by his "guest".
• The floating island fell to the ground, leaving the party at the foot of a giant clock tower atop a colossal snail.
• They entered the tower and began climbing the stairs inside, contending with magically distracting ticking sounds that only got louder as they climbed.
• Partway up, they encountered a crate with some of Finnigan Perry's research journals atop it and some fossilized bones inside.
• At the top was a door and a werewolf in a tuxedo with a message for Kesmet from Dennis, who threatened to give his past self "what future you deserves".
• Inside the door was an impossibly complex contraption involving the Orrery of the Wanderer and an hourglass filled with red sand.
• The ticking sounds in this room were so powerful that the party could only move in short, stuttering bursts between the ticks.
• Pendel appeared and taunted the party, but Finnigan called through the Rotor of Return with a plan: throw the Rotor at the hourglass.
• Grogery handed the Rotor to Dazki, who threw it. It shattered the hourglass upon impact.
• Fade to black: images of Finnigan, Captain Marshall Undersky, and "The Damsel" appeared, guiding the party into some more time travel to try to stop whatever plan Pendel has already begun to put in motion.

Full Recap

Dwardazik: Barry! (He pulls out his shield and mace and runs after him.)   Grogery: Dwardazik!   Dazki: Fucking...   Dazki: Is everyone good to go? Because I guess we need to run after people.   Dwardazik, still yelling after him: I've got you, Barry! We won't leave an equal member of the party behind!   Marvin: Yeah, we gotta save our boy!

They all run through the portal, Dazki taking up the rear. Kesmet pulls out some rope and uses Mage Hand to make sure everyone can grab onto some of it, which they do. Dwardazik uses some of his own rope, ties it around his mace, and throws the mace towards Barry to make sure that he gets rope too.

Barry: I don't understand what's going on!   Dwardazik: Grab the rope, and hold on for dear life!   Grogery: We can't get separated.   Marvin: I believe in you, Barry!

They group back up together.

Barry: Guys, I feel like we should be concerned! Should we be concerned?!   Grogery: I, too, feel like we should be concerned.   Dwardazik: Barry, why the hell did you have to fall through this portal? What were you thinking?!   Dazki: Dwardazik. Take it easy. Getting angry isn't going to help. We need to stay calm and figure a way out of here. Yelling will be counterproductive to that. We can deal with that once we're somewhere safer.   Dwardazik: "Safer"?! (He reels back in his mace and sheathes it.) Yeah. This is sooo great. (He briefly lets go of the rope and starts slowly rotating.) Absolutely perfect. (He grabs the rope again.)   Dazki: Did I say this was good? No. I just said, take a deep breath. We can hopefully find somewhere better before we start getting angry and throwing accusations. Right now, we need to come up with a plan and figure out what to do.   Kesmet: Dazki, remember when we were fighting those weird chaos werewolves that wanted to play basketball with us, and you blew a whistle and made one of them go away? What if we tried the same stuff to get out of here? Maybe not blowing a whistle, but the guy was saying something about zoning in a portal... what if we create some sort of zoning permit or whatever?   Dazki: That's as good an idea as I have right now. I have no idea if my pen will work in this space, but I can certainly try it.   Dwardazik: I wish we had "Steve" here...

Dwardazik: Steve? Is that you? Steve, if that's you, cross your eyes.   As the rest of him pops in, it's definitely Steve.   Steve: You wished for me to see you?   Dwardazik: Steve, we're in a predicament. We want to get back to where we were, not here.   Kesmet: Do you have a zoning permit?   Steve begins furiously scratching himself with his arm and one of his arm-like legs.   Grogery: Are you OK, Steve?   Steve: I have a slight allergy to other dimensions. Don't worry about it.   Grogery: Well, we ended up flung into this alternate dimension, and I have absolutely no idea how the heck we can... not be in this dimension anymore. Into a more favorable dimension. Such as the one we came from.   Dwardazik: Please, Steve, help us! We're not good in this kind of thing.   Steve: You seem mostly fine?   Dazki tries to will a portal back into existence, (Intelligence 13) but nothing happens.   Steve: What are you doing all the way out here? I thought you were looking at the... ticking rod things?   Kesmet: We got lost. We took a wrong turn somewhere. We need help getting back.   Dwardazik: As Dazki was saying, we were looking for it, and we got teleported into this dimension. I gotta say, it's rather uncomfortable, but that doesn't matter. What matters is, what do you know about this dimension, and would you be willing to help us return to The Phantasmagoria?   Steve: I would very much like to return to the Phantasmagoria, yes.   Marvin: I can't believe we would ever say that we want to go back to that place, but yes, it would be better than being here right now.   Dwardazik: I would also like to apologize for bringing you here against your will, because it appears that maybe I did that? But please help! I'll make it up to you.   Steve: OK. OK. Where do you want to go, exactly?   Dazki: We would like to go to the Wandering Temple.   Steve: The Wandering Temple?   Dazki: Yes.   Steve: Now, I feel like I have to ask — because you guys seem to never understand — you would like to arrive, near the Wandering Temple, ...in your current state?   Dazki: Yes, we would like to arrive at the entrance to the Wandering Temple, in our current state, in the same time that we were taken from the Phantasmagoria.   Kesmet: Hang on a minute, what's wrong with our "current state"?   Steve: There's just so many cooler states to be in. But if this is how you're most comfortable...   Grogery: Well, there's the thing with Barry, but you told us that in order to get him back to the way he was, we would need someone with more information, which we still don't have.   Steve: Yeah. A name, a description, an appearance, anything would really be helpful. But I mean, you could be somethin' else?   Marvin: Like... like not a halfling? Or, Dazki not an elf? Dwardazik not a dwarf? Is that what you're implying?   Steve: Yeah, sure.   Dwardazik: Can we not get caught up on these other things? We need to get out of here as soon as possible, please. As interesting as it would be to be maybe a few inches taller, I have no interest in changing anything about me. Outside of our position.   Steve: And the guy with the green hair really did like his green hair. So, I guess I could have anticipated that you guys wanted to stay (roughly) the same.   Kesmet: Don't touch my hair.   Dazki: I appreciate the fact that you asked us before just making that assumption. That is very respectful of you. Thank you.   Steve: Now, I would very much like to leave. It is very uncomfortable out here.   Dazki: All right. If we could, that would be very helpful.   Steve: OK, grab my eye.

They do, and then they seem to fall into his eyeball.

See You Later, Dwardazik

Dwardazik starts blowing his Eagle Whistle, and Kesmet quickly casts Feather Fall on the others. Dwardazik cuts himself free and chases after the Bag of Holding.

Combat Summary

Dwardazik and the rest of the party experienced the ensuing combat entirely differently. Editor's note: I think everybody figured out the situation by the end, so in the interest of me not going insane, I won't bother splitting the secret information across the two sides.

• The two sides actually engaged in combat with one another, except instead of seeing the rest of the party (for Dwardazik) or Dwardazik (for the rest of the party), they just saw alligators who moved and attacked oddly.
• Grogery tried to Send a message to Dwardazik, but since he was on a different plane of existence, he failed to receive the message.
• Dazki and Marvin's purple hand spent most of their time trying to retrieve the Bag of Holding.
• When the giant alligator (Dwardazik) took enough damage, he started levitating (blowing his Eagle Whistle) and moved far away from the rest of the party (alligators) to try to mitigate further incoming damage.
• Kesmet gave Dazki the ability to Fly, which let him get close enough to finally get the Bag of Holding back.
• Kesmet tried to lure the alligator back by creating a permanent version of a Major Image of a "lady alligator", but what actually appears is a 20-foot-tall dwarven lady.
• After attacking Dazki (an alligator) and trying to fly further away, an attack of opportunity from Dazki (the alligator) brought down the giant alligator (Dwardazik).
• Dwardazik's body emerged from the giant alligator's corpse, sprouting "a bunch of tentaclesque wings", and began to move of its own accord as the alligator corpse began to fall and disintegrate, some of the original contents of the Bag of Holding falling out of it.
• Marvin used his purple hand to grab Dwardazik's unconscious winged body and bring it closer to safety, but the winged... thing... broke free and brought the body the rest of the way, turning from wings into more like spider legs as it landed on the ground.
• Grogery, initially worried that Dwardazik was flat-out dead, was relieved to see that he was merely unconscious and poisoned.

Grogery: OK. OK. He's still alive. Barry, please don't shoot him.   Barry looks sad and puts his gun down.   Grogery: You were great with the gun today, but this is the Turmoil thing that's been living in Dwardazik for a while. He is poisoned, maybe healing that will help him regain consciousness. Or maybe we could reason with it?   Dazki: We can go try and talk with his guest.   Kesmet: Would cauterizing —   Grogery: NO.   Kesmet: Are you sure?   Grogery: YES.   Dazki: I have a feeling that doing harm to that would imply doing harm to his host, which is Dwardazik. We don't want to do that.   Kesmet: Well, if we can't find a way to heal him conventionally, we could always... you know... (He gestures towards Grogery)... necromancy-"heal" him?   Grogery: He's still alive, just unconscious, and he's taken a bunch of different types of damage, because of course he has. Obviously, his guest saved him, so I'm incredibly grateful for that. But I'm also a bit distraught that Dwardazik is still out.   Marvin, Dazki, and Grogery approach... Kesmet too, but "a bit further back".   Marvin: Can you understand us?   The figure disappears back into its host, seemingly untrusting of the rest of the party... (Turmoil 17) but probably mostly just because Dazki had come close enough to put Dwardazik within the radius of his stabilizing aura. Dwardazik regains consciousness dramatically.   Dwardazik: What's going on?   Dazki: So, you fell and were swallowed by a giant alligator, and your guest saved you.   Dwardazik, pointing at the giant illusory lady dwarf: Who's that?! (He pulls out his mace.) ... ... ... ... (He puts his mace back.) ...who is that?   Dazki: It's an illusion that Kesmet created.   Dwardazik: You can't fool me, —   Dazki: Can we focus on the issue at hand here?   Dwardazik: Oh my gosh, have I died, and this is heaven?!   Dazki: No, you did not die. You almost did, but your guest saved you, and —   Dwardazik: She's so pretty!   Dazki: — ...and it retreated into you once you returned into my area of stability.   Marvin waves his hand in front of Dwardazik's face, trying to get his attention.

The Tick Tock Challenge

Dwardazik: Right. I just remember the fighting, and the pain. What's going on?   Dazki: It feels like we're falling.

Kesmet casts another Feather Fall on the five people other than Dazki, who still has his Fly spell active.

Dwardazik: The ticking and tocking gives me reminders of a certain someone.   Dazki: Yeah, I've got a feeling that we are exactly where we requested to be.   Dwardazik: And I've also got a feeling that we are very close to our mortal enemy.   Dazki: Well... yeah. We requested to be at the doorstep of...

Dwardazik: I can't help but admit, the recent trials have really taken a lot out of me. I think maybe I'm overextending myself. I thought maybe I understood the Turmoil better than I did, but the Phantasmagoria is a little too strong. Grogery, can you help me out here? Maybe I should stick near one of you folks.   Dazki: Yep, that's all good.   Grogery: Plus, your circulatory system says you're poisoned. Do you want help with that?   Dwardazik: I really can barely focus...

Dazki flies up to the top of them and drops a rope down to help everyone else climb up.

Dwardazik: It appears to be a tower, ticking similar to the control devices. Do you think we're actually at the Wandering Temple?   Marvin: We've gotta be!   Grogery: It's a clock tower, it's got that signature Pendel "tick", and it moves. I think this is it.   Dwardazik: I'm just nervous. I dunno, for some reason, I just feel this... like it was too easy. Like we're somewhere that Steve might think is where we're trying to get to, but isn't the actual thing.   Dazki: I have a feeling that whatever gods there are took mercy on us, because us bumbling around through the Phantasmagoria was not particularly entertaining to them.   Marvin: Like they said, sometimes you go the wrong direction and come up in the right direction.   Dwardazik: If you're saying that the gods have decided that fate should be in our direction, and they've given us a blessing... heh, I didn't realize you were such a religious elf.   Dazki: I'm not, but... you know, I have no idea what else to say about it.   Dwardazik: I enjoy your optimism. It makes me feel a little better. Hell, sure! Why not! I'll say it: this is, in fact, "The Metronome Man"'s clock tower. Let's fuck 'im up, right?   Marvin: Yeah!   Grogery: OK, here's the thing. We're here to make sure Pendel can't use the Orrery of the Wanderer to cause catastrophic damage to the past, present, and future. If something needs to happen to him in order for us to save millions of innocent people, then so be it. But...   Dazki: But let's not go with violence as the first option.   Grogery: If we kill him, but we can't undo what he has wrought, then we're in just as bad a situation.   Dwardazik, whispering to himself: I would sacrifice any amount of people for my clan.   Barry: Then we should go onward! (He walks through the door, Dazki trailing closely behind him to ensure that he stays within an aura, and the others follow).

Dwardazik asks for some healing again. Grogery gives him some, and asks if he needs more.

Dwardazik: This was more than enough. Save your healing for an emergency.   Grogery: You almost dying was the emergency.   Dwardazik: My life is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Only that we complete our mission.   Marvin: That's way too fatalistic.   Grogery: Listen. Why do you think I have constantly made efforts to not kill people? To only use violence under extreme circumstances? To give people the benefit of the doubt? To forgive them? It's because every life — even down to the most depraved, pathetic creatures — makes a difference to somebody.   Dazki: Besides, Dwardazik. You told me to take better care of myself — that I am valuable — well, you are, too. Every member of this party is important. So, deep breath. You're OK. We're here for you. Just like you protect us, let us protect you too. No one here is more important than anyone else. We all put the same value on you that you put on us.   Dwardazik: I will be what you need.   Dazki: No, don't be "what we need". Be who you are. Who you are is important to us. That is what you should be. You're our friend. Be yourself. Be the Dwardazik that you have been up to this point — that you are, inside. You're our friend. You're valuable and important to us.   Dwardazik: I understand. And I'll honor that.

They settle on a marching order and start climbing the stairs.

Dwardazik: Grogery, doesn't this seem a little tall? Haven't we gone up the height of the tower?   Grogery: The landscape is changing — there are now more gearworks. If something is changing, then we're making progress somehow.   Dazki: Plus, this could very well be an entirely separate pocket dimension or something.   Dwardazik: Ugh. Why is everything so complicated?

Dwardazik, holding his hand out: Careful. I see a book in a place like this as something to be temptation. Perhaps we should treat it like a trap.

Dwardazik: I don't want to take too long on this. I just say, proceed cautiously. Kesmet, can you support us?   Kesmet: ...with what?   Dwardazik: Perhaps using your magic hand to lift a book and make sure there's no trap?

Dazki sighs and just pushes his way through to grab one of them.

Dazki: I think these would be important to put in the Bag of Holding, if there is room. Grogery, would you be OK with that?   Grogery: Sure.   Dazki: These are Dr. Perry's research diaries.   Grogery: Yeah. These are going in.   Dwardazik: Wasn't expecting that...   Grogery: Perry did say that he was bound to this tower somehow. Maybe he's trapped in the pocket dimension we walked up into?   Dwardazik: This makes no sense at all. Maybe that's the point...

Dazki takes out his crowbar and tries to pry open the crate. (Strength 8) he fails and gives other people a try, which (Strength 19) works just fine. Dwardazik instinctively moves to swing his mace at the skeleton's skull, when Dazki and Grogery stop him.

Grogery: Hang on, hang on! We have no idea whose this is! Don't desecrate dead bodies!   Dwardazik: OK, OK! OK.   Dazki: I think we know whose this is...   Dwardazik: Are you sure? This could be an undead skeleton!

Grogery: I mean... it is highly unusual for undead to be made out of something so old... actually, I don't know, I'm feeling skittish about it, now that I'm taking a closer look at it.   Dazki: I've got a feeling that this is Dr. that this was Dr. Perry.   Dwardazik, slightly lowering his mace: ...all right..., if you think it's not an enemy... it hasn't attacked us yet. Just be careful.   Dazki: Yep.   Dwardazik: So, why do you think it's Dr. Perry?   Dazki: Because we found his research journals right above the crate.   Grogery: So wait, who would've put them there?   Dwardazik: What a strange place to rest. Wouldn't you think his colleagues (or anyone) would place him somewhere else?   Dazki: When we spoke with him, it didn't sound like he had any colleagues other than Captain Undersky, and Captain Undersky was in a different dimension.   Marvin: Still sounds weird hearing that...   Dwardazik: A crate, though? A crate?   Grogery: Who would've put his bones in the crate, and then his journals on top? If someone was taking care of his body, then they would've done this to identify him to passersby, but...   Dazki: Yeah, it was Pendel.   Dwardazik: But a crate?! Ugh, I can't... it's better than just being thrown across the floor, or thrown across a field of battle, but... a crate?! It's almost the bare minimum of transporting someone back to their natural resting place.   Dazki: It's meant to be a threat, I think.   Dwardazik: What makes you think so?   Grogery: If we were to try to return these bones to the next of kin, then... hmm...   Dwardazik: I don't understand. It's a threat? Am I missing something?   Dazki: It's like putting a dead body of your enemies outside a castle. That kind of a threat. Not directly saying "these are going to attack you".   Dwardazik: I see. I don't know, this seems like it could be a battle strategy of demoralization, but you know what? I will not be demoralized! Let's proceed.   Dazki: Yep... let's get going...   Grogery: These are fossilized. Perry was alive within (most of) our lifetimes. If there's time magic going on here, such that time here passes more quickly than outside? Perhaps once we leave the clock tower, it will be like mere milliseconds passed, even if we spend hours / days / weeks in here. ...or, there's some sort of Phantasmagoria shenanigans. ...or, that's how Pendel kills people: by aging them super fast.   Dazki: He also did say that he was trapped outside of time and space.   Dwardazik: What are your thoughts, Marvin? Anything?   Marvin: I think this guy knew way more about the Phantasmagoria than we do, and yet here we are, alive... and he's not. That's somewhat concerning. But he may have been alone. So, as long as we stick together, I think we'll be all right.   Dwardazik: Clan is stronger together.

Dazki: I'm assuming that's for us?   The werewolf attempts — through the incessant ticking — to bow his head in respect.   Dwardazik: Are you sure you want to talk to this guy? He could be an enemy!   Dazki: Yeah, I'm —   The werewolf opens the box, allowing the mechanism to turn. A voice comes from the box, mechanical and tinny.   Dennis: I love the smell of BACON in the morning... extra crispy. I know you will be back here this time — and I'm waiting! Come nightfall, past you will get what future you deserves.   Dennis: You mess with the hound, you get the horns!   The werewolf collapses from exhaustion.   Dwardazik approaches it, checks his pulse, and guards the corpse.   Kesmet, frantic: Grogery! Can Lesser Restoration cure his exhaustion?   Grogery: Greater Restoration can cure one level of it.   Kesmet: Guys... I knew it... the voice! That was him! It was fucking him!   Dwardazik: What's so special about the voice?   Kesmet: That was Dennis!   Dwardazik: THAT was Dennis?!   Grogery: "You mess with the hound, you get the horns"...?!   Kesmet, rushing over to the wolf and trying to revive him: Get up! Fuck you, get up! What information do you have?!   Dwardazik: But it sounded like such a... boyish girl! ...Kesmet, this werewolf isn't even conscious.   Kesmet, slaps the werewolf twice, and Dwardazik grabs his hand before a third slap.   Dwardazik: It's not working, Kesmet.   Kesmet lets go of the werewolf with his other hand and starts slapping with that free hand.   Dazki: I think we just go through the door.   Marvin: I agree. We're not getting anywhere with this. Come on.   Kesmet: We're bringing him with. We're bringing him with! This is the closest that I've gotten!   Dwardazik: Hold. I understand. To think, though — why are we ignoring the fact that a message from (potentially) Dennis is coming from this werewolf who's just conveniently standing in our way?!   Marvin: Didn't we get confirmation that Dennis is somehow holed up in the Phantasmagoria here?   Dazki: Yeah.   Grogery: What is this "by nightfall"? It's the Phantasmagoria, time of day doesn't make any sense!   Dazki: Let's just go through —   Kesmet: He's saying he's going to go back in time and kill my family tonight!   Dwardazik: Look. I understand that there's a lot of emotional distress regarding what Dennis is doing. However, I feel like we are glossing over the fact that we just got a message from one of our enemies who may have a significant motive to fight against us. At least take a moment to pause and consider what this might imply.

Dazki walks through the door, having already made up his mind before Dwardazik even started talking.

With the Ticking and the Tocking and the Bipping and the Bopping

They enter, dragging the werewolf's body into the room with them. Grogery attempts to cast Silence over the area surrounding the Orrery.

Pendel: Don't worry. I consider myself a pacifist. I will not harm you here, but you will be freed from the guilt and misery of the things you have done. I'm generous like that. I don't want to kill you — but I don't have to. Not if you were never here! Not in this tower; not in this fetid, corrupted land; not in any part of this grand symphony that I orchestrate. Many of you will be fine — never having encountered the terrible things you have and have not done, and not doing the terrible things that you will do in the future.   Grogery, your bag is vibrating.   Pendel: The song will adapt. It will sing without you here. It is already in motion. My simulacra are already placed to alter the melody. To silence this cacophony of dissonance. You will never have met. You will never have made it to this rotten country. You would never harmonize.   Finnigan, speaking through the Rotor: That's the perfect idea! SILENCE! Then, get the Rotor close enough to the Hourglass.   Grogery, twitching through the ticking: But he... countered my...   Pendel: You stay out of this! This song will resolve my way!   Dazki, also twitching through the ticking: Hand it to... me Grogery, I'm... faster...   Grogery: Take it... I'll silence... go!   Dazki takes the Rotor from Grogery and moves as quickly as he can towards the hourglass, but he's still not able to move very quickly.   Finnigan: Throw me! Throw me to the Orrery!   Pendel: Don't listen to him! I'm fine with being the villain in this timeline! The only timeline that matters is the final one!

Marshall: I predicted we only had, like, 36 seconds before you guys never would've met!   "The Damsel"'s voice enters your mind.   "The Damsel": I feel that would have been c͉̽at̠́aș̃troph͚̊i̦͌c^{d͉i͟s̱t̹r͈e̙s̮s̮i̩n͔g̩}_{u͘ńf̓a̅v̈́ȯr̄àb̀l̄ẻ}.   Finnigan: "Warriors of light", we have successfully commandeered the temporal signal. I'm sending you to the nearest time and location of dissonance. A period where something anomalous has happened. You must stop it from happening, and (preferrably) destroy the simulacra. You won't be able to affect or explore much, as the song of time is hard to rewrite.   Finnigan (cont'd): I see you have something of mine, and that's good, because I don't have a lot of time to explain here, but I can write it in that book! ...I have already written it in that book! ...enjoy your time travel, and please, do read it before you try to mess up the time stream!