Session 125

General Summary

• The party members find themselves inside the bodies of a group of skeletons outside of Marvin's family's old farm that they could never grow anything on.
• Pendel's automaton had done something to make the farm produce a huge bounty, enough that the family could pay off their debts when the debt collector came around, plus a little something extra for the collector himself: a piece of Orrery of the Wanderer that Marshall had found.
• The collector turned out to be a necromancer who had hoped to take the farm: an ancient evil was rumored to be buried underneath, and that's what he was after.
• Their "master" having passed out from an hour of binge drinking, the party went to confront and disable the automaton, but before they could do so entirely, a dracolich awakened from underneath the orchard, immediately taking out the debt collector as its opening move.
• The party managed to take the dracolich down, but Pendel did some time shenanigans to put it back together.
• Before the dracolich could attack again, Marvin commanded Marshall to "Activate" the artifact.
• He did so, teleporting both himself and the dragon to an unknown location.

Full Recap

Prologue

Marvin: Wellp. You guys know the drill. Gotta see what we look like. Better not be mice this time...

Mirrors.

Marvin's Timeline (Pushing Up Daisies Farm)

Dwardazik: You seem a little close to Grogery there, Dazki. What's going on?   Dazki: I guess this is just how it is.   Grogery: I guess the skeleton we inhabited is two skeletons. I want to be clear, Dazki: being fused back-to-back is not what skeeves me out about this. It's being a skeleton.   Dazki: It's fine, don't worry about it.   Dwardazik, snickering a little: I knew you two were friends, but... really?   Kesmet: Why are we outside the house?   Kesmet: And why am I wearing shoes?   Grogery: Well, they're obviously not going to let the skeletons inside the house.   Dwardazik: Maybe should shush up and try to listen?

Marshall: Honey, this thing is way more valuable than just a tool to sell away! This is the artifact I need to finish my Astral Engine. Plundering the Astral Sea pays off way more debt than just selling the artifact!   Marjorie is clearly bored of an argument that they've probably had dozens of times.   Marjorie: No more schemes. We need to live in the "now", not the "later, maybe, possibly". And right now, what we need is coin.   Marshall: It's not a scheme, dear. I swear, this time it's not a scheme!   Marjorie, exasperated: You always do this, Marsh! And where are we? Are we swimming in scheming piles of gold? (She looks around sarcastically.) Where's the riches, eh? The fancy fruits, the leak-free roofs, the goddamn stew pot?   Marshall: We both know I needed the stew pot to protect the Aero-Accumulator from astral debris.

Dazki: Well, shit.   Marvin: Those sorts of arguments were regular, but damn if it doesn't feel weird hearing him talk about "Astral Engines". That was never said around my brother or myself.   Dazki: You OK, man?   Marvin: This... I mean, my mother's not wrong. She's definitely not wrong! Trust me, I've... the fact that my father's now still alive — not just that we're back in the past, but because of this "cosmonaut" nonsense — I... we had a funeral, guys, OK? This was quite literally buried to us! We might not have had a body, but this past was buried to us. Now that I know the truth, it's... it sort-of invalidates the past, in a way. Reframes all of this.   Dwardazik: There seem to be some clan problems as a common denominator to all these time travel adventures.   Marvin: Apparently, saving the world isn't complicated, but family is?   Grogery: If we all had happy families who loved us and had absolutely zero problems, we wouldn't've set off on the paths that we did. We'd be too comfortable.   Marvin: In all honesty, though, what my brother and I had assumed was correct was that our father died, and died for us, trying to better the family in some way. So, while that's a pretty run-of-the-mill tragic family backstory for you, now what does it mean?!   Grogery: It means he got trapped far away from you guys because he tried to help you.   Marvin: We don't know that!   Grogery: It sounded like, from what he was saying, that he was trying to build this "Astral Engine" thing to be able to, y'know, provide for the family.   Marvin: Yeah, make money. Yeah. Because they're really good at paying their debts, and all that. I mentioned to you guys that we were nomadic subsistence farmers, right? In hindsight, it was probably more just because they were avoiding people. You know, debt collectors and that sort of thing. But I digress — you'll see plenty of the troubles as we undoubtedly figure out what the hell has changed.   Grogery: If it means anything, Marvin, a lot of times people will do what they think is right — what they think will be best for their family — but still be complete morons about it.   Marvin: I guess it's just in the nature of mortals to do so, I suppose.   Dazki: Could be.   Grogery: Again, I don't know all the details, but —   Dazki: This is not a situation where I feel comfortable playing Devil's Advocate like I usually do.   Dwardazik: I'm not a particular fan of all these adventures that we're having. So perhaps we should try and figure out how to solve this one so that we can get one step closer to "The Metronome Man".   Marvin: Agreed.

Dwardazik: I can't help but notice that we're not exactly commoners here. Not exactly dwarves in a clan. Or elves in an elven land. ...we're skeletons. I can't imagine we're particularly welcome around these parts.   Marvin: I'm trying to remember exactly what part of my childhood this might have been.   Grogery: You seem to be going bug-hunting with your brother?   Marvin: Yeah, I'm just trying to guess which farm this is. Oh wait, this was the super run-down one. ...oh-ho-ho, no way! They might've been right! My parents had always joked that "oh, this farm, it's such bad luck that my dad can't grow anything here". You know, that it's actually unhallowed ground. Are we walking proof that it was true?! Holy shit.   Grogery: That this ground is unholy?   Marvin: I'm not saying it for sure, but... that's what my parents always argued about. We always overheard that sort of thing.   Grogery: That your dad couldn't grow anything because the area around him was just cursed?   Marvin: Yeah! Maybe the bodies we're inhabiting are proof of that.   Dwardazik: Some kind of bad luck or omen in the family? Hmm.   Grogery: It's pretty powerful magic to have an unhallowed area follow someone around. It's usually just one specific spot. I guess an individual could get cursed.   Dwardazik: Is this just a run-down farmstead that you found on your travels and occupied? If so, that would explain why it was abandoned.   Marvin: I remember, he gambled. And, of course, luck being the whole thing: he had *just* enough to pick out this place. Obviously, probably not for that much, considering the history. We weren't just squatting here, though, if that's what you're saying. Not that I'm trying to defend what my parents did.   Grogery: So your dad gambled, which would explain all the debts.   Marvin: And the bad luck.   Dwardazik: What I'm confused about is, you mentioned that your father was a "cosmonaut" —   Marvin, abruptly interrupting him: Hey! That's news to... you know as much as I do about that!   Dwardazik: ...right. So, with this Astral Engine, is it implying that he leaves this plane sometime around this span of time? As in... soon? When do you recall your father no longer being there?   Marvin: It could be a month, it could be a year, but yeah, he seems like about the right age for it to happen soon.   Dazki: OK.

The Collector's Addition

Dazki: Hey, Grogery? Do you want to crawl around with me and see what's going on up there?   Grogery: Sure. I am not a particularly stealthy individual, but I can give it a shot.   Dazki: Yeah, well, if you agree, we can do our best.

The rest of the party decides to go along with them.

Collector: I do apologize for the late night intrusion. As you well know, my "men" prefer to travel at night... and I had expected to need them. And you have a habit of vanishing by morning.   Marjorie, snapping at him frantically: Shoo! Shoo! Get outta here! What did he do? What did he owe you? (She turns to Marshall.) What did you do, Marsh?   Marjorie then grabs the artifact from Marshall and thrusts it into the hands of the unsuspecting Collector, who barely manages not to drop it.   Collector: Lady! Lady. I said that I had expected to have to rough you up. But, it seems the farm is doing quite well!   Marvin: Wait... what?!   Collector: I may wield skeletons to do my bidding, but that doesn't make me a villain! I will gladly take the harvest as compensation for what you owe me.   Marjorie stands there confused, but Marshall seems much more eager to join the conversation.   Marshall: What do you mean "harvest"? Wait, really?!

Dwardazik: It appears that this guys is probably one of the people we should avoid... I'm thinking it might have been one of the guys that "The Metronome Man" might've set up.   Dazki: I don't know, it doesn't sound like it.   Grogery: Or "The Metronome Man" might have had some golems tend to the field in specific ways to make it more fruitful.   Marvin: Maybe we're supposed to be his muscle?   Grogery: It sounds like we're supposed to be this guy's muscle, yeah. He might be a necromancer.   Marvin: Funny, considering skeletons don't have any muscles! Ha-ha-ha! ... ... ... Man, I thought you guys would at least have ONE funny bone in your body? ... ... ... ...   Kesmet: ... ... ...I get it.   Dazki: Well, you'll have to forgive me for not thinking you're particularly humerus.   Marvin:

  Marvin: Guys, I think we should walk up to him and pretend we're his entourage.   Dwardazik: I'm not sure that's the right way of doing this. We can't fuck up the timestream.   Dazki: ...but... if he was expecting to meet skeletons here...   Grogery: ...and we are here... I mean, skeletons aren't exactly laying around out on the ground...   Dazki: ...so I'm willing to follow Marvin's suggestion on this, if that's all right with the rest of you. Grogery, what do you think?   Grogery: It's all right with me.   Kesmet: So, follow this guy and pretend we work for him? Or follow this guy and pretend like we're just normal skeletons?   Dwardazik: I hope you know that acting wasn't exactly my primary career choice.   Dazki: I would say, follow his orders when they don't look like they will interfere with things.   Marvin: Also, Dazki, I would say be prepared to pickpocket that artifact from him. We're probably gonna need that back.   Grogery: Also, skeletons follow simple orders. You're not really expected to be able to do anything all that complex, to my knowledge.

Dwardazik suggests that they pick up some tools to look the part and shambles over to the stables, trying his best to walk like a skeleton. Dwardazik motions for the others to follow.

Dwardazik, as Kesmet approaches: You should probably check out that stall over there. It appears to have some sort of tinkering stuff.

Dwardazik: ...but be very careful while investigating!   Dazki, rolling his eyes: Grogery, what do you think... just head out there?   Grogery: Sure.

Dazki and Grogery head towards the Collector, and the others follow.

Marvin: I never remember seeing it like this.

They, of course, do.

Collector, sitting dejectedly against the tree: Yes, yes. Shamble forth, my mindless minions, or whatever. Listen, man, I know I'm only speaking to hollow sockets and empty minds, but I'm in a chatty mood today. And it's not like you can judge me for anything.   Kesmet makes sure to stare at him particularly blankly.   Collector: My information's just got to be wrong, right? Or somebody's information has gotta be wrong. I mean, look at these apples. These are real apples! (Another heavy swig of the alcohol.) I mean, come on, man! How could he have grown crops here?! It's supposed to be corrupted by an ancient buried evil!   He grabs Dwardazik by the shoulders and shakes him.   Collector: That's the only reason why I took this collection in the first place! There's nothing in it for me to force them to give me a farm, if it's actually a real farm! ARRGH. I guess I'll just... I don't know... take the harvest, and whatever this artifact thing is? Go hunt down the fellow with the awful information? Do you guys feel joy? Would you like that? I don't know.   Dwardazik takes the hoe he grabbed, turns abruptly to the side, and begins hoeing a random spot on the ground.   Collector: No ancient evil treasures for us. Nope. I guess those hapless halflings are just going to live out their lives at a stupid normal farm. (He looks at the artifact again.) I'll bet this stupid thing isn't even cursed... how boring.   Marvin walks up to the Collector and holds his hands up to accept the artifact and hold it for him. The Collector puts it on his head.

Dazki: So, do we have any idea of what we need to do here?   Grogery: Sounds like there might have been an ancient evil artifact around here somewhere that was making the ground cursed? I don't think it's this golden disk...   Dwardazik: Lads. Can we talk about something that's been bugging me for the last hour or so? Why were we just following this guy around?   Grogery: He's a necromancer, and we're his muscle.   Marvin: He literally compels the undead to follow him around.   Dazki: That's how necromancy works.   Dwardazik: I don't like that feeling.   Dazki: Well, no.   Grogery: It's almost as if necromancy in general is evil.   Marvin: We already had the argument about Overlook. Yes, necromancy bad. We good? Good. Now. Let's move on.   He brings up what the Collector said about his parents being able to live our their lives as farmers.   Marvin: Here's the thing. That can't happen. Unfortunately — as nice as that sounds —   Kesmet: We gotta screw up your dad's life and teleport him to wherever.   Marvin: Or just screw up the farm.   Dwardazik: I'm just getting really annoyed with not having control. Things just don't make sense!   Dazki: What doesn't make sense?   Dwardazik: How can we be compelled to do all these actions, if this is all in the past, which defines what happens in the future? It's just, like... none of this makes it feel like any of this is our choices. Like we're being forced to rewrite our own history.   Dazki: Yeah, that's what Pendel is trying to do. Rewrite our history. We are trying to get it close enough to what actually happened.   Dwardazik: I understand, but, like... did it happen? That's the question.   Marvin: Think of it like a big bowl, all right? There's a big bowl. And what we're trying to do, is keep the pebble in the bowl. OK? And what Pendel is trying to do is push the pebble all the way out of the bowl so it never goes back in. Whatever we do in the bowl, sloshing it around — yeah, it's kinda different, but ultimately, the pebble still rests in the bowl. Same outcome.   Dwardazik: I understand that. I understand why we're here. And our goal, in order to defeat "The Metronome Man" and Dennis.   Dazki: Well, then, what's confusing you?   Dwardazik: What's confusing me is that — using his analogy — I'm convinced that someone has taken the bowl and placed it at a different table.   Marvin: Oh. Uh... didn't think about that.   Dwardazik: Things are changing here. There's a traitor in my clan, and potentially my entire clan might be traitors.   Dazki: It's very clear that that's what happened. Yeah.   Dwardazik: But did it happen?   Dazki: Yes! Clearly, it did. Because things hadn't been changed until the point when we went in there to change them. All of that stuff happened before. I'm sorry to tell you this, Dwardazik, but sometimes, people in charge lie, cheat, manipulate, and steal for personal gain. Even dwarves.   Kesmet, sarcastically: Say it ain't so!   Dazki: So yes, clearly there was somebody that had their own best interests in mind — or was willing to put aside what you think of as dwarven morality — for what they felt was the greater good. Whether it was a greater good or not, I don't know. But very clearly, there are people in your clan — just like there are people in every society since civilization began — who are willing to do that. The world isn't black and white. And there are people that will walk in the gray areas. In every family. In every clan. In every city. In every town. In every organization. Some of them get enough power that they can manipulate and force things into where they want them to be. And it looks like that is what happened in your clan.   Dwardazik: I understand that. My issue is, how much does "The Metronome Man" control? I understand that there are inconsistencies, but is it possible that he's actually manipulating more than just what seems inconsistent? Between the lines of history?   Dazki: Sure, it's possible! But we don't know whether it's true or not, and we can't really do anything about it. Worry about the here and now, what we can control. Don't worry about the stuff that you can't.   Dwardazik: But it's everything! What have I even been doing on this adventure besides making sure you were all safe in completing this? Besides preparing to take revenge?   Dazki: Revenge will leave you empty anyway. So that's not even worth it.   Kesmet: Now, hang on, let's not get crazy.   Dwardazik: It wasn't so simple as that.   Marvin: Dwardazik, you've been helping with one part along a bigger goal. We all have. Think of it as small steps. If you keep on thinking about the big picture, you'll never get there. It's all about the small steps, the small victories that lead up to the big win.   Dwardazik: The only thing I can really trust, it seems, is you folks. You're the only ones who understand.   Marvin: At this point, I think we're the only ones who can.   Dazki: I don't know about that. I think that might be a little bit nihilistic. I'm sure there are plenty of good people in your clan, Dwardazik. I'm sure there are plenty of good people in your family. But yes, there are some bad people too. Maybe Pendel's manipulating it. Maybe he isn't. All we can do is trust our memory.   Dwardazik: I'd like to think what you're saying is true. Maybe.   Marvin: Not to break this up, but if this artifact is part of what leads my dad to disappear...

Marvin suggests that they head towards Marshall in the crop field and give him his artifact back.

Dazki: Sounds good to me. Grogery, do you want to do that?   Grogery: Sure, I do have something to say to Dwardazik, though.   Dwardazik: What's on your mind?   Grogery: I know that everybody is like "here, we're going to talk very loudly about your problems", and it may not necessarily be what you want, but... would you agree that you want to follow the noblest path? The noblest goal? And maybe that noblest path is serving your clan and following your clan and all that, yes, but right now, the noblest path is to stop Pendel from unleashing a scenery-chewing snake and screwing up all of our pasts. It's fine if we focus on that for now and talk about your clan later. It's not disrespecting them, it's focusing on the task at hand.   Dwardazik: I understand. What you're saying is wise. I was being distracted by my feelings. Let's get this job done. Once and for all.

Crop Monster

Grogery: Hey, Dazki, can we go investigate that scarecrow? It looks weird.   Dazki: Is that what you'd like to do?   Grogery: Sure.   Dazki: If that's what you want to do, then sure, we can head over there.   Dwardazik, running his hand through some crops: The contrast between the desert and these fields. It almost seems magical.   Dazki: Marvin, you said that your parents were never able to grow anything?   Marvin: Yeah, something might've bloomed briefly, but then immediately rotted afterwards.   Dazki: Then how come there's a good fresh pumpkin on the scarecrow's head?   Marvin: ...tear it down. That fuckin' automaton, I swear, is in there.

Dwardazik rushes it, attacking its head with his mace.

Dwardazik: Scarecrows don't do that... SCARECROWS DO NOT DO THAT!!!

Grogery: Dazki, you might need to dismantle that thing before it explodes.   Dazki: All right, you good with that, Grogery?   Grogery: Yep.   Dazki: OK, come on.

Grogzki run over to the scarecrow, and Dazki (Tinker's Tools 26) attempts to disable it.

Marshall: Skeletons?! Skeletons here?! Oh, I've gotta go get my skeleton-killing gear!

Marvin: ..."skeleton-killing gear"?!   Grogery: Maybe your father saw skeletons on this farm before, and made sure to have gear for it? Leave it to your father to always try to have the right tool for the job.

Dazki looks back towards the scarecrow, but it's not there. The ticking is, though. (Passive Perception 27) It's over in the orchard, the only other lush part of the farm. It didn't walk over there or anything, it's as if it rewrote time so that it was always there from the beginning.

Dazki: I think it's over there.   Dwardazik: What? How is that possible?!   Dazki: I have no idea. Should we head over there?   Grogery: Yeah.   Dazki: All right.   Marvin: Don't take your eyes off of it!   Dwardazik: Quickly, what's the plan?   Grogery: "The plan" is, we finish disarming it.   Dazki: Yeah, if that's OK with everyone else.   Marvin: Whatever you guys do, if you have to look away from it, take turns.   Dwardazik: We got this. It's cracklin' time.

They run up to the scarecrow again, and Dazki makes another attempt at disabling it.

Collector: Does anybody feel that too?

Collector: Oh, shit!

Combat Summary

• Marvin dropped Marshall's artifact on the ground for him to retrieve it later.
• Grogery and Marvin were initially unsure whether or not their healing would work; much later, Grogery confirmed that it would have been fine the whole time.
• Marjorie ran outside to check out what all the commotion was about, immediately turning around upon seeing the dragon.
• Marshall finally made it out to the field where the skeletons were, only seeing the dragon across the way later.
• The dragon flew up and used a lightning breath attack that almost one-shot Kesmet.
• Dazki made a gigantic hit with his Bloodspine bow.
• After another round of the usual back-and-forth, Marshall got up the courage to run out and pick up his artifact. Even Marjorie took a shot with her crossbow (and missed).
• The dragon landed and attacked all three of Kesmet, Marshall, and Marjorie, barely not knocking Marshall out (even through Marvin's Silvery Barbs) but definitely downing Marjorie. It later did a wing attack that kicked up a sandstorm and knocked out Kesmet.
• Marvin picked up his parents with a Mass Healing Word, and Grogery got Kesmet back up.
• Once back up, Kesmet threw a fireball up in the air.

Dwardazik, sheathing his weapons: Phew. Please let that be the end of it.

Pendel: Not this time, "heroes" (with a quote).   Kesmet: Cringe.

Dwardazik pushes past Marshall and grabs Marjorie to carry her to safety.   Marvin casts a spell on Marshall: Command, telling him to "Activate" the artifact. Marvin collapses and just screams, pounding the ground.   Fade to black.