Heartache by Moony1 | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Chapter 12

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Adam exited the room, breathing a sigh of relief after the whole ordeal was over. For a moment, he thought his going to die or something but his glad to know that girl wasn't going to rip him to shreds or along those lines. In fact, she was just troubled and that how he will see it; he felt confident it had gone well and to his surprise, it did.

Leaning back on the door, closing his eyes as the thoughts seeped in his mind, thinking about how lucky he was to be alive and that this is what she wanted to speak with him. A problem she didn't even know that she had, although it seems that Adam knew and from the looks of it, he might have fix it with his little speech and comforting words.

However, he couldn't stop of believing that she is a vampire of all places, believable answer from the way she look and acted. If that thing wasn't mutant, then Adam has to go along with the supernatural realms of mythology and fantasy. Although it made him question about the part of exchanging her humanity and soul for power or revenge.

It doesn't sit with him well, the idea in letting go of everything that makes them human, in order to gain immortality or power, from what he heard; makes his skin crawl to even think about it. Even if that was the case, Alucard was exception after hearing her story that lead up to the unfortunate life she is having.

But something is telling me there is more to it than what she has told, that she has done horrible things to live with for all these years and perhaps, she regret doing those things, or maybe she didn't, either way, it is not his concern to know the reason why she is like this or judge the actions she had done.

What matters to him the most is that she helped them and gave shelter to both him and his daughter, something that he cares more than someone's life choices and the actions they make. It is their business, not his to make big deal out of it as long they mind their own, live their own lives, in their own way.

"How did it go?!" The pixie's sudden appearance caught him off guard as his eyes flashed open, surprised but annoyed of her doing this over and over again, "did you get the job done!?" She asked with impatient expression, having cheerful aura in her. Adam let out a soft sigh before answering, "yes, yes I did." Saying it with forced smile on his face as he look at the small fae.

Her lips curved to smile in return, "really?!" Garnet was happy to hear that her friend managed to get back on her feet thanks to the man before him, "thank you again! You don't know how much this means to me, hearing that she is okay and will be back to normal," Adam felt relieved of what she said before nodding quietly.

"It was nothing," he shook his head in dismissal, "I just did my part and that was all to it," Adam look at the pixie with neutral look, "its good to know that your mistress will return to normal in day or two, " saying this while scratching his head in contemplation, "wheres Lilim?" Asking the most important question in his mind,.

"Oh! I just sent her back to the bedroom," she exclaimed in surprise, "and you should be going there too! Your daughter is probably waiting for you," Garnet point to direction to her room. "Waiting for me?" Adam was confused at this, wondering why his daughter would be waiting for him to begin with. "Yes!" Her energetic self said with hopeful look on her face, "she really is worried for her father!"

Ah, that makes sense, "right," removing himself from leaning on the door, "alright, that is good to know," his tiredness was slowly creeping up on him after all this talking he did with Alucard. He isn't as energetic and lively as this pixie of hers, even though he is young man in his mid twenties, he was still a man in the end and human being at that.

"I'll be going then," Adam began to walk away from the place, leaving Garnet alone in her own thoughts as she watched him go, contemplating of whether to say something else or not. After a few seconds of thinking it over, she decided to speak up. "Hey!" This caused Adam to stop and look back at her with questioning look on his face.

"Um," she hesitantly spoke up," can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Can you be her friend?" The question was quite random, even to Adam as he stare at her in disbelief, "what?" Garnet didn't expect him to be this surprised, "please!" She begged while still in the air, getting down on her knees once more while clasping her hands together, "I want you to be her friend!" The desperation in her voice is obvious as she continued to beg him.

"What does that have to do with me?" Adam really wanted to know what she is getting at, he already done what she had told and now she is asking more. He wanted to refuse and keep on moving, but he couldn't, the sad tale of Alucard reminds him from a past he wants to forget and knowing how much worse off he felt since losing someone so dear to him.

"I'll...think about it, " uncertain and confused, he told her, deciding to see it as another way to give him a favor in return, "I'll talk about this in some other time," the best answer he could give to her, as he really didn't know what to say at this moment. Garnet just sighed and nod with disappointment, standing up and letting him be on his way.

"You better!" Pouting at the conflicted man before her, "its not everyday she can make friends," said Garnet with somewhat serious expression, "if you don't do it, then you never will," having point in her words as Adam look at her with a shocked expression, making him to stop on his tracks once again.

"What are you—" Before he could finish what he was about to say, the pixie simply vanished out of thin air; leaving his thoughts in uncertainty of what she meant by that. Sighing once more, Adam resumed his walk to his destination, whatever that is. The more people he interacts, the harder it takes to have him relax and go on his merry day.

His simply getting tired of being involved with strangers he never care about but yet he still does; willingly or not, his not sure why he did what he did in the first place but he suppose it was because of her request and returning the kindness that they gave them. So as mentioned before, it wouldn't be right to refuse such offer.

And yet, he felt obliged to do it at the point that he actually felt sad and pity for that girl, something he doesn't understand about himself even though Adam should only focus on himself and those he treasured. But he can't help to feel this way, especially when it came to having empathy towards someone else.

Shaking his head, trying to get rid of the thought from his mind, Adam decide to think about the choices he make would have him gain something or not in return. And with the life choices he has made so far, it wouldn't be a surprise if he got nothing in return of doing so. Not even those who he had deemed to be important, as they will eventually come to an end one way or another.

In the end, he shouldn't focus and prey on too much about things like this. His story is his own, and it always will be; Adam didn't want to have more things to worry about and having friend will make things worse for him. He can't imagine losing them again and seeing the same expressions on their faces as they are now, making him feel regretful about being close to them.

The thought of accepting her as his friend or comradery will cause him to grow more worry about the circle of people around him; knowing that they could easily be disposed from their death and die just like that, with a snap of the fingers, in an instant. And Adam doesn't want to go through that again, because of the loss of his family, he never wants to experience it ever again.

"Dammit!" Snapping, he punched a nearby wall; frustrated from whether to accept her and have another ally or not. Punching the wall again with anger and sadness in his heart, regretting the words he said to her earlier as the decision is getting harder to make by the second because he didn't want to lose anyone else he cherished in his life.

No, he refuse to do it, he can't let anyone get close to him; it will only make him feel worse than he already is. Adam wants to say it in front of Alucard but his not sure he is able to because of his conflicted emotions playing with him. In one hand, Adam wants friends and comrades but on the other, the thought of losing them again will be final blow of his psyche.

Slowly kneeling down with his head touching the wall and eyes staring down at the floor with dreaded frustration on his face, "I can't make friends," his tearful and desperate voice echoed throughout the hallway, whispering to himself as he rest his head on his knees, "I just can't," saying it again and again, hoping that if he say it enough times, then he would actually believe it.

"I don't want to lose people anymore," liquid tears fell down from his face and he couldn't stop them even if he wanted to, "why am I like this?" Adam desperately asked, as if someone is listening to him, "why can't I move on?" These are questions that he should be able to answer himself but instead, he asks it to someone, who probably doesn't even exist.

However, it made him feel a bit better than being alone in this hall of theirs; only him and the loneliness in his heart. After all, what do he expect from a man who has gone through the darkest corners of this world and yet managed to struggle to keep on going. It is hard to live this cruel world when it was made to test his will and desire to keep going despite all the obstacles that stand in his way, making Adam fall and falter at every moment.

The only reason his still here is because of his daughter and he doesn't want to lose her. If people came to his life, then not only he has to worry about her but also his so called friends and comrades, the only things that will keep him together and hold his head high even when everything around him was falling apart. He won't lose it again, not after what he had been through; he will do anything to keep his family safe.

It didn't take long for Adam to stand up from the floor, regaining his calm composure, "get hold of yourself Adam," speaking to himself in calm and cool tone of voice. With shaky hands, he begin to rub his face to remove all the tears that fell down on his face and drying them with the sleeve of his black coat.

"I am still here, that is what matters the most," brushing off all the thoughts that had occurred to him, turning, he continue to walk once again to his destination. Although, the same question he asked before still remain in his mind; do he really need friends and comrades or is he fine being on his own? A question that he has yet to answer.

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