Chapter 8: A likely story Prose in Veron | World Anvil
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Chapter 8: A likely story

Kira was a bit nervous. It wasn't a feeling she was accustomed to, but she was piloting an off-road transport unit alone with a powerful psion who's allegiance was yet-to-be-determined, and he hadn't said a single word since he had boarded. Considering the circumstances, Kira was relatively calm. Kira was accustomed to tense negotiation; her time as steward of the white city had given her plenty of opportunities to practice; but with Paradox Kira wasn't yet sure what he wanted. He hadn't voiced any opinions or threats or stances. It had been hours, and Paradox had simply sat in his corner of the cab, not making eye contact and fidgeting with his wrists. Was that some sort of psionic warm up, or just a nervous habit?   Finally Kira had had enough, and she did what she would never do in a negotiation: She told the truth. "Alright. I've been driving for two hours now, and I have no reading on you. What's your deal?"   Paradox seemed suprised at being engaged in conversation. "Uh, Me?" He said stupidly.   "Yes." Kira said. "Do you see anyone else around here?"   Paradox seemed to have something caught in his throat. "M-m-my... deal?"   "Yes." Kira said slowly so Paradox could understand. Either he was avoiding questions about himself, or he was just an idiot; Kira wasn't sure which. maybe both.   Kira continued. "Your deal. Your motivation. Your bottom line. What are you here for? What do you want from these stunts you're pulling in front of my public? If you want to go back to your trash hut in the wilderness so much, why'd you leave in the first place?"   Paradox put a paw to the side of his neck, apparently scratching a mild itch that had spontaneously manifested there. Paradox thought a bit, but evidently thought better of thinking too long. "I don't... really know." Paradox said.   Kira held back a face. That wasn't a real answer, and he knew it. It was a bit of conversation to tide her by until he could think of a good story to tell. Stars, Paradox had so many tells it was a wonder he was able to keep any secrets at all, even if he had been living alone all these years.   "Okay." Kira said amicably. Then she hardened her voice a bit. "What's the real answer?" she said. Hopefully that would knock him off guard long enough that he wouldn't be able to think of anything believable.   "It's.. a weird story." Paradox said. He was definitely worried she wouldn't believe him, but was that because it was true, or false?   "I'm all ears." Kira said.   "There was this guy. An old bunny. He told me that there was going to be some sort of trouble in the white city, and that I was the only person who could stop it."   That was an even flimsier story than Kira had expected. "So... this guy. Was he, maybe, an old friend of yours? a relative?"   "Uhh, no." Paradox said, evidently nervous about answering this question. "I uh- I never met him before."   Kira raised an eyebrow. Was Paradox's goal to come up with a story that was so unbelievable that nobody could possibly have thought it would convince anyone? Maybe it was working.   "And why, may I ask, did you drop everything and run off to the white city with nothing but the word of some random bunny you had just met?" Kira asked.   Paradox began his neck-scratching again in earnest. "He was... Convincing?" The way Paradox had voiced it was not convincing Kira.   "Okay. Okay." Kira said. "Putting aside that fact that you've never met this guy before, Why would you rush to the aid of some people who you were sure would want to burn you at the stake?"   Paradox was silent for a bit. "Uh, well... people dying... that's not good for anybody, right?"   For once, Kira sensed total sincerity from Paradox, and It made her take a step back mentally. Was he really the naive? Kira responded in like sincerity. "People dying... can be good for anybody, Paradox. It just depends on what they're dying for." There was regret in Kira's voice as she said it, but also a grim assurance of the truth.   Paradox and Kira sat in silence for a while longer, with only the deep rumble of the engine beneath them piercing the silence. Kira almost tried to wrench some truth out of Paradox again, but she thought better of it. If Paradox wanted to commit to that story, He was welcome to. Now it was left to Kira to figure out if it was the truth or an idiotic fabrication.   Paradox was, in fact, the one to break the silence. He sat up a bit in his seat, squinting at the horizon. "What is that?" he asked.   This drew Kira's attention to a black line that had been thickening on the horizon. As it grew, Kira was able to make out a green lining that rode atop the inky blackness. "Ah." she said. "Here we are; the Black Forest."

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Mar 3, 2021 17:44 by R. Dylon Elder

Excellent choice in switching perspectives. Up to this point, Kira seemed much more confident and in control. While here is no different, it definitely shows theres more to it. Shes aware of the dangers, and nervous about paradox which is eye opening   "opportunities to practice; but with Paradox Kira wasn't yet sure what he wanted. He hadn't voiced any opinions or threats or stances"       I like how use his fidgeting to clue to reader into paradoxes mindstate even when in a different pov. It calls back beautifully.   It's a great chapter with some nice character development on both sides of the coin. It's well placed as far as the novels structure is concerned as well.     Lol I like Kira's reaction to his story and his answer kind of made me laugh. It brings attention to how odd it is that paradox left. He was convincing? I mean yeah, i suppose he truly was.   two things on this one, the semi colon before but should be a comma I think, though semi colons are the cosmic horror of punctuation. I cannot for the life of me comprehend them. XD secondly, their may be one to many "ors" in the series. You could remove the or before threats, add a comma, and it may flow a bit better.     Oof, it depends on what they're dying for. That was a nice line and an excellent way to juxtapose the characters and their moral compass. Well done! I didnt expect any less of course.

Mar 3, 2021 18:04

I really enjoyed writing this chapter for all those same reasons. Despite Paradox being based more on myself, I think Kira might be my favorite character to write (especially when bagging on Paradox). I guess there's a bit of me in all of my characters...   With the semicolon I figured that one and the previous one formed a bracket that isolated that statement from the rest of the sentence. Yes, Semicolons are indeed the cosmic horror of punctuation.   Thanks for reading!