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The Inn of the Laughing Void (Multidimensional Hub, The Core of Existence)

~ also known as Sk‘jhla-Trwi^rg ~

Welcome to the transcendental tavern of your choice!

 
Enter our cozy establishment through any gate you may find, but be careful; The transition might feel a little ethereal. (PAPERBAGS ARE PROVIDED AT THE ENTRANCE)
No matter where you come from, whether it is a dystopian Deadland, a mystical forest, or a sinister hellhole, crowded with creatures and monsters trying their best to tear each other apart, we offer you hearth and ale!
Enjoy the ambiance of one of our 512.790 lounges! We are sure that you'll find just the right place for your preferences and needs, since we pay a lot of attention to variety. The view through our many windows is favoured in particular. Gaze either at the black nothingness, or ask one of our illusionists to provide you with any sort of landscape you'd like, in case you're feeling a little homesick.
Meet long lost friends or travel to other worlds!
 
Do you wish to reunite with a once close friend, who moved into the Kingdom-of-scyring-Isles?
Do you want to go on vacation with your family and lay on the sunny beach of Miami, Earth?
Or do just want to stay a few nights and watch interesting creatures and plants come and go?
Well, here all of the above and even more is possible!
Our Services
  • Rooms for up to 399 guests
  • (We ask the Masjaqui-folk to rent one of these rooms for their family gatherings, rather than renting 399 single rooms.)
  • Free access to the bars and lounges
  • (Though we'd appreciate if you'd pay for drinks and food.)
  • Free access to every gate, portal and mousehole.
  • (These can be reached through one of the five archways in the entrance area, so don't even bother looking in the restrooms.)
Special Offerings
  • Rent a room today and get the chance to win a (FREE!) evening of our Wellness Treatment!
  • (For guests under 8ft [2,4m] and 400lbs [180kg] only).
  • Coffee'n'Cookie-Time, every day at 3pm
  • (It'll be announced also, for those who are used to a different concept of time.)

Don't know where to go?
 
Based on some experiences we have made in the past, we thought it might be a wise idea to provide you with this quick and simple guide through our establishment.
YOU are here:
~
  At the moment you should be standing in one of the five archways which will lead you to the main room, the bar-room. In case you did not notice, the blank wall behind you is the spot where, seconds (or minutes, or perhaps even hours, based on your perception of time) ago the portal had emerged, that lead you into our fine tavern.   Right in front of you is the main room, where you will find any kind of help or service you may need. That also includes translators, waiters who‘ll gladly direct you as well as an ATG (Automated Teller Gryffin).   As you may be able to see, the bar is located at the far back of the room and the stairs to the guest rooms are positioned to the left of it. Feel free to take a seat at any of the tables scattered around the room, just please do not mistake any of our other guests as a chair, no matter how comfortable they may look. It's best to ask, before you sit.   Now, you are probably asking yourself „Where are the 512.790 lounges? Where is the Wellness Centre, the restrooms?“. Don‘t worry, you can reach those destinations within a blink. And really, that is all there is to it. Imagine, where you want to be (as long as it is realistic) and tada, you‘re there!  
(Please don‘t question it, just keep in mind, that things go differently here.)

No worries! We keep you safe!
 
Altough we always try to ensure everyone's/thing's safety by encouraging a friendly and tolerating relationship between all of our guests, it is still necessary to make certain precautions, such as security personnel. So, in case you are feeling a bit nervous about that Demon over there in the corner staring at you, we asure you: There is nothing to worry about!   Our specially bred Super-Noxiously-Aggressive-Chomp‘n‘Kill-Softies (S.N.A.C.K.S, in short) were trained to detect any kind of malicious intentions throughout a radius of 660ft (200m) and then either attack immediately or inform the closest staff member. (Though they are most likely to attack beforehand.)   You probably realized by now that the tiny feather balls flying underneath the ceiling in almost every room are our S.N.A.C.K.S units. And now you should also understand what the "do-not-cuddle"-signs stand for. They have teeth.

Home-made specialties:
  *This does not include our whole menu*   *We also want to add that we are not responsible for any allergic reactions which are caused by certain ingredients or the unwell feeling when you notice that you can order one of your kind, or even one of your relatives (though we share our greatest sympathies).*

Drinks & Soft Drinks Ingredients Price
Breathfire-Ale *secret recipe* 2dc
Hot Dragon-Tear
!Specialty of the house!
Dwarf-Spice, a drop of melted gold,
home-brewed Whisper-Whiskey
3dc
Spiritbrew
fermented Ashling-essence,
Fizzle-water
2,79dc
Meals & Delicacies
Crispy-Fried Crystalbugs
freshly harvested Crystalbugs,
fried and marinated with Fae-mint
5,75dc
Cheesy roasted Mandrake
(Please be careful, in case the mandrake
might be undercooked!
And don't scream back!)
Mandrake,
backed with fine Cheddar from Earth
6dc
Hack'n'Mash
Khaguli-Steak (rare to medium),
mashed potatoes and a carrot
7,25dc
Void-Soup
!Specialty of the house!
bowl with nothing
included in
your
"Welcome"-coupon

Guidelines

  Although we take great pride in the friendly environment that's become an attractive feature for many of our guests, we'd still like you to keep the following things in mind. After all, it is only a benefit for everyone/everything to maintain the peace!   *If you are not able to understand one of the 9.478.371 languages we speak here and therefore can't read the Guidelines, we ask you to consultate one of our talented translators or leave the establishment immediatley. Thank you for your sympathy!*  
  • Please make sure not to show any kind of violent or vulgar behaviour. It could disturb other visitors or be answered in the same demeanor.
  • Take care of those around you. We especially ask everyone/-thing taller than 12ft (3,6m) not to step on other guests. If you are short in sight, make sure to carry your glasses.
  • Don't mistake any of the other guests as your dinner! We are well aware that the Cotton-Cat to your right might look appetizing, but it is not here to be eaten.
  • (It does not taste anyway.)
  Accidents happen! If you notice that one of the scenarios we just described above are occurring - whether you are the cause of it or not -, please try to inform a member of the staff immediately. But please remember, in case you haven‘t paid for a Travel Stomp Insurance, that you will be charged to pay the whole sum of any costs which might emerge from any accident you have caused.
Founding Date
At the beginning of Time

Our staff introduce themselves!

    Walther the Wyrm Owner, Seer and passionate Tea-Drinker: (Since Walther has stopped talking, about 600 years ago and is still reluctant to do so, we had quite some troubles trying to quote him.)  
Henry Barkeeper, Storyteller and proud grandchild of the Kraken:
What is there to say, really? I am nothing but a humble bartender, gifted with enough limbs to serve at least four guests at the same time. Except, of course, on that one evening. Oh, I remember the events of that day as clearly as our Breathfire-Ale. You ought to taste that, by the way. I swear on my ninth tentacle, that you won‘t regret it. I wish such a delight had already existed when I was your age. Back then I used to...
~ The whole story went on for 13 hours and 47 minutes, which is why we decided to cut some parts. ~

Bartholomew Candlelight Master-Cook, distant relative of Walther, occupied:
*Sadly, Bartholomew couldn‘t find the time to introduce himself, which is why we asked one of the kitchen dragons about him*  
The chef? He is alright, although he has a pretty short temper. Especially, when the welps ask him about his name. Shh, be quiet! What, if he hears you? So, you have never heard about his... his flame? Alright, I will tell you. But you didn‘t get this from me, understand? He‘s always wearing this big chef hat, right? Well, underneath he has this kind of flame. Like the flame of a candle, you know? It looks pretty hilarious, to be honest. But nobody knows how he got that. Some say... Oh, no. Chef, I didn‘t...

Cap
Head of our attractive mugshroom-servers:
grumble

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Comments

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31 Mar, 2022 18:03

Fun quotes and a great hub for any campaign. Good Job. I liked the bartender's quote in particular. You have an awesome balance of humor and information.

As always, it would be appreciated if you would stop by my challenge article The Storm Giant Empire and leave some feedback.   If you are looking for things to read from summer camp there is also my Summer Camp 2022 Reading Challenge.. Happy worldbuilding.
2 Apr, 2022 18:33

Thank you! I must say I am quite proud of it, although I was sometimes unsure whether I went to far with the humor or not.

31 Mar, 2022 21:36

Aw, why can't I pet the murderballs... ;_; And I don't see why it's wrong to shout back at the Mandrake. Stupid etiquette.


Too low they build who build beneath the stars - Edward Young
2 Apr, 2022 18:38

Well, you can try to pet them... If you are fine with having only one hand or a severed arm... xD The mandrakes are really sensitive creatures tough, they tend to cry easily... and I am sure you don't want an oversalted dish.

3 Apr, 2022 14:22

0/10, staff won’t let me pet the fluffballs of death.   Okay, but in all seriousness, this is a really interesting and unique tavern. I like the whacky and otherworldly feel it has, and all that’s implied through the text, from the giants to the linked worlds.

3 Apr, 2022 14:31

Thank you so much! I am glad that you feel that way, since it was exactly what I wanted to do.