The Maledictorian
So much. You offer so little, and yet ask for so much.
Then what is it? What do you really need? What do you truly desire? What is it you need more than anything? What do you yearn? For change? For revenge? For something... new? Something out of the traditional bounds?
Then I suppose you're in the right place, little one. I have helped people just like you many, many times. My nails? Don't worry about them. I will put my nails and my fingers wherever I please, and it seems that place is your chinny-chin-chin tonight.
Why do you shake? Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you tonight. Not tonight.
However you didn't answer my question? I asked you a question, little one.
What do you desire? Because I'm in a giving mood. At a price, of course. The cost, you ask? As much as you're willing to give. The gift? As much as I can offer. You scratch my back, and I scratch you. Your back, of course.
I can provide. With my power, I can provide far more than you can ever even imagine. Nobody can tell me no, so why should somebody tell you no? I just want you to be happy. Unadulteratedly happy. Whatever the cost. Because it's worth it. When you think about it, your greatest want is always worth it, isn't it? All you have to do is reach out and ask. And pay back your debts, of course. That's why I'm here.
Divine Domains
Demands, curses, and The Wyld.
Holy Books & Codes
The Sanguinary
Mental characteristics
Personal history
What's wrong? Why are you mad? She did what to you? The ugly tiefling with the human mother? What did she do to you this time? Stole your make-up? The one your mama gave you? That's so gross! Ugh, I can't stand her either.
Wait, what was that you said? The other thing. You said you wish she would fuck off and die.
Did you... mean that?
I ask because... I know something. You've heard the stories, right? About Magdalene of Paradise?
They say once, long ago, there was a big village by the name of Paradise. You know the one, it's in the valley, over the mountain range, where the snow blocks the road in the winter. The one that burned down. That's where Magdalene lives. I know, there's nothing left, but I swear to you it's real. In the old town hall, if you go to the mayor's office, there's a hatch. It leads down into the basement.
And there's a section below that, deep deep down. An iron door. You open it up, and it smells like mildew, and rot, and something else, like a dead raccoon. There's red paint on the walls, and it's always sticky, with drawing and handprints everywhere. And there are voices. It's really scary! But at the end of the halls, there's a door; you can see the candle light through the cracks. And she's there.
Magdalene is really spooky. She's short, and never wears any shoes, which is so gross. Her hair goes past her rear when she stands, and she has this tattered dress. She always likes visitors, but can't walk very well. Like with a limp. But if you spend time and play with her, she's really happy. She gets really sad when you say you have to go. She always asks if she can do anything to pay you back, because she can't leave that room.
And Magdalene will grant you wishes. Anything you want. But it has a cost. You just have to play with her. She'll tell you when she can play too, the day and the month. She says it's okay if you forget, or the weather is bad. Don't get in trouble with your mommy, she says. But I don't know... it makes me uncomfortable. I don't really want to miss a day... I don't want to make her mad.
But she's not lying. Magdalene always tells the truth. If you play with her, she'll do anything you want. Even really bad stuff. You know Abigail, the girl from Grandview? The one with the burn marks on her face. That was Magdalene. And do you know Becca from Maypearl, the half-elf who stole another girl's idea at the festival? She got her mouth sealed shut, like wax, by magic! And Derek, the boy who did that horrible thing to Erika on the side of the road, the one the town council said didn't happen. Magdalene did that too. And I mean, Derek is called The Eunuch for a reason.
I promise, it's all real. I'll go with you. But you have to play with Magdalene. You have to do what she says or else. Because you remember Marg, right? She was picking on the halfling girl, and wanted to get her extra good. But she didn't want to play with Magdalene. I heard she and her friends called Magdalene ugly, and pushed her. The adults said she got taken prisoner by orcs. But I saw her... She was hanging by her neck, and burnt black like chicken, on the road to Paradise. We think Magdalene did it.
So if you really want to do this, it'll work. Let's bring a book, and some paper and ink for drawing. Magdalene loves to draw. If you're really nice to her, she'll even draw a picture showing you what she'll do for you. When do you want to go?
Relationships
Divine Classification
God
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Spouses
Siblings
Children
Comments