Elf

Who am I?
You, but better in pretty much every way that matters.

Prettier, smoother, and first in line for every goddamn promotion that doesn't suck. Elves are obnoxiously gifted in the modern world. How could they not be? They're charming, prone to efficiency with a delicate touch, and if anyone ever said a baby was cute and wasn't lying, it had to have been about an elf. The fuckers are just born perfect, more or less. The one thing they aren't is durable, but to be honest, it's not that much of an upside that you could punch one to death when they're all mostly hidden behind corporate towers and all-troll security teams.

Elf elitists are common, but rarely needed. Everyone already knows they're the top dogs. Cept for the Tir Tairngire bastards. Those weird west coast princes used to be the hottest shits around, until their corp-free system started to buckle in on itself. Now they're either a target for pity or thinly veiled mockery by their corporate cousins.

A few of the rare, literally-old-as-dirt elves still speak or pass down Sperethiel through their family, taught from the immortal ones on into the modern era as magic returned.