Hope
As he made his way through the cold evening, Lui Wei observed the night sky. It was a bit strange to him that this empty world, so void of hope, could still contain so much beauty. The stars above twinkled at him, almost as if they were mocking humanity’s inability to reach them. He, like many others, knew that they were never going to make it off-world.
This notion plagued his thoughts regularly. He wished he could return to a time when he too believed in the possibility of salvation via spaceship, but wishing was a waste of valuable energy. As one of Nuuk’s sparse collection of doctors, he constantly attended to the needs of the people. When he did have time for himself, he had to focus on resting and recharging, certainly no time to waste on wishing. Tonight happened to be his shift at the barracks and as he made his way there through to night, he found himself dragging his feet. Another night of the same thing he’d been doing for what seemed like ages.
Despite his slow pace he did reach the barracks in time for the shift change. He relieved his older brother and took his place in the East Wing medical center. Barely a word passed between them as Li headed out the door, clearly exhausted and ready to get some rest. Lui Wei walked through the room and checked on each of the patients in their cots. No one here had any serious injury or illness, which was typical for these boring shifts. After checking one man’s temperature and finding that his fever had broken, he set out at a leisurely pace to check in with the men that were assumedly healthy.
As he passed by the front entrance to the facility, the one through which he had entered just twenty minutes earlier, he stopped to look at the announcement board hanging on the wall. Nothing interesting stood out immediately. The notes he read were mostly job requests posted for soldiers to fulfill. Scattered amongst the job requests were missing persons reports. There were only a few of them, but the quantity made the danger of leaving the city’s limits obvious. Almost half of the scavengers that journeyed to the Frozen Mountains didn’t come back. He picked a particular posting off the board to examine further. The material the note was written on, a leaf, made it difficult to read. He was squinting at it as someone approached him from behind.
“Shame to keep losing so many on those excursions.”
Lui Wei turned to see whom had spoken. The Captain of the guard, Viktor Bjergsen stood with his hands in his pockets.
“It’s a necessary sacrifice, but a costly one for sure.” Lui Wei found himself speaking to the man without thinking. Viktor and he had gotten to know each other fairly well during Lui Wei’s many shifts at the barracks. The man seemed ordinary enough on the surface, but he often had something profound to say. “But it seems to me that the value of the scavengers we lose to the elements outweighs the value of the scraps they bring back.”
“Could be. Or maybe you’re not using the right scale to weigh it all out.” Viktor scratched his chin with a twinkle in his eye.
“How do you mean? The lives lost are definitely more valuable than the scraps that are brought back. We sacrifice so many people to the outside world only to bring back bits and pieces of sheet metal and see no progress on the rocket.”
“Maybe they’re bringing back something more than scraps.” With a shrug, Viktor turned to leave.
“There’s nothing except scraps out there to bring back. What else could it be?” But Lui Wei’s only answer came in the form of a casual wave over Viktor’s shoulder as he retreated further into the building.
The next afternoon held some excitement at least. After Lui Wei’s boring shift last night, he welcomed the tingly feeling in the air as the town buzzed with news of returning scavengers. The group of five people had set out about two weeks ago, and now the town saw them in the distance, the size of an ant, but getting steadily closer. Soon they would find out how many had survived the trip.
As the group approached the town, the people started pouring out of their homes and into the streets, eager to see what would be brought back this time. The crowd was so dense that Lui Wei couldn’t even see the group as they walked by him. But as they passed and he watched their backs move further and further down the road towards the Rocket Build-Site, he was able to count how many people had returned.
Only two, this time then. And each held at their side a piece of scrap metal about the size of a car’s windshield. Nothing more. It seemed another dangerous mission had been a net failure. Three men lost and only two useless scraps to show for it.
But then Lui Wei thought about what the Captain had said. What else did these people bring back with them? Something more valuable than scrap metal. Something valuable enough to outweigh the sacrifice.
He remembered the faces of the townsfolk as the scavengers passed by. Their faces shone with an emotion rarely seen in this desolate world. The sun sparkled off of toothy smiles and faces crinkled with joy. How on earth had he missed it before? The emotion he had been without for so long was difficult to recognize in others when he wasn’t looking for it, but now he knew.
The world may be empty, but at least the people still had hope.
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This is a great piece. It gives just enough information to make me aware of the world that we are in and provides a good look into the characters. It is a small enough time frame that we are able to get close and look and all the inner workings of what is happening. Your word choice and diction is good (“this notion plagued his thoughts, “now the town saw them in the distance, the size of an ant, but steadily getting closer’). The dialogue is accurate with what I believe the characters would really say. You don’t provide a lot of description of the world or the characters around, but I understand just enough to get into the world and the characters. I would spend a few more words or paragraphs focusing on character description and or world description to really heighten this piece, though I already get a sense of where you’re going. The inner thinking of Lui Wei seems a bit on the nosed as well. There are ways to express his inner thinking without plain out saying what his inner thinking is. Leave a bit more to the readers’ judgment and with a little guidance, I feel that the piece will come out better as a whole. My biggest suggestion, though it may seem small, is to not say what the scavengers bring back besides scrap. I like the realization that Lui Wei has and the description that goes with it, but then you just throw up a bone and give us the answer. The description is good enough on its own. Good Job!