It Takes Time <To Be Properly Taken Apart> - Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Chapter Length: 5,400 wordsThe Galaxy's Least Subtle Hints
Author's Note: Hi there! To anyone who has read this far, the story is currently on hiatus. This is only temporary, though, and we're going to be back in a couple months time; at which point I intend to post the remaining 7 chapters of book 1 all at once. Then, it'll be on to book 2! There'll be a notification on both Discord & the Ao3 version of the story when I update; unfortunately I have no way of doing that on WA. So if you want to be updated when we get back, check in at one of those places!
Raqi's body began flooding with panic. Her head started to swim; her eyes shot wide open before she could stop them; and her body froze up completely. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn; those were the four options her brain presented her with. After a few moments spent getting herself under control, she chose none of them. Forcing the terror that had gripped her down, she drove the worst of the panic off of her face and relaxed her limbs, trying to look at least partially like she hadn't just nearly had a heart attack. She knew she couldn't hide how she had responded from Punica, but she could at least avoid making it look any worse. "I- I don't remember mentioning that," she said, voice dry and cracking. "Can you remind me in what context it came up? Li- Like, what was I saying about it?" The question was twofold; firstly, it aimed to acquire information about the events that had transpired before she had lost consciousness, and second, it bought time for her to try and get her thoughts in order. Even with rudimentary control over her body re-established, her mind was still spinning. That the word 'hypnosis' could have left her mouth within earshot of Punica under any circumstance seemed to her a blatant impossibility; it had been foremost in her mind since she had set out from Landmar that she must for no reason ever say that word around an affini. Punica's head tilted slowly, her gaze remaining appraising. Her tone as she spoke revealed nothing about what she was thinking. "You were mentioning how it was a hobby of yours during your time in the Mobile Fleet. You spoke to me of having developed a strong interest in it for a relatively long time, and that you had become quite skilled at entering and exiting trance states. We moved naturally to the topic from an earlier discussion of dissociative states; as your experiences with the two seemed to be connected to one-another." I did WHAT? It was taking all of her effort to keep her posture neutral, and stop her face from showing any of what she felt. There is no way. I would never- She hesitated. Hypnosis and dissociation were very closely linked; that was actually something she'd enjoyed monologuing about from time to time. In particular, there was a very strong correlation between the presence of dissociative tendencies in an individual and high hypnotic suggestibility, which she was fairly sure was a large part of why she went into trance easily. Had she just... lost focus and ended up infodumping to Punica? The idea sounded insane, but as she thought about it, the horrifying realisation began to dawn upon her that it really wasn't that far-fetched. She loved talking about psychology - it was probably her biggest life-long interest - and hypnosis was a big part of that. Under normal circumstances, she would've leapt at the chance to get to talk about it. She remembered all of a sudden how excited she had been when she had realised Punica seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say, as opposed to just humouring her out of politeness. I would absolutely have told her about it if I somehow thought it was safe to do so, she realised. And I've spent my entire life telling myself that things I know are a bad idea will somehow magically work out just because I want them to. Ffffffffuck. "Raqi." There was something in the way she said it that let her know the game was over. "From the way in which you spoke about it, it was relatively clear that this subject pertains to your search for a partner. You were fairly explicit about the association."
It was either vent Punica into space now or never, she realised. This was the last chance she had to do it. If she let this conversation continue, she was getting domesticated. That was a foregone conclusion, and there would be no wiggling out of it the way she had every time so far.
She could envision it in her mind's eye: A wall of glass raised up around her, just large enough to shield her and her portion of the ship while she deconstructed the floor under Punica's feet; sending her hurtling out into hard vacuum. All she would have to do was send an impulse to Straessa, and the affini would be gone. With how far away the Rending Talon was from any Compact vessels now, it might be years before she was found. Space was, after all, a very large place. In that amount of time, she could probably go home and warn the Mobile Fleet. Tell them that she'd been captured by one of the affini but had just narrowly escaped, and now they knew the Fleet existed. They would reposition, send out enhanced scout patrols for the next couple of months or so; and then the Compact would lose them and never find them again. She still had a chance. She could still put all of this behind her, go back home, and resume her life from where she had left it off. It wasn't yet too late.
...No. It was, she realised, already too late. It had been for quite some time now; possibly ever since she had first spoken to the affini. The reason why was clear: she had now seen what they could do. How perceptive they were, how razor-sharp their intuition was; the way that they pounced on even the smallest hint of weakness, and could draw truths out from you without you even realising what you were doing. In every single interaction she had had with Punica since the two of them had started speaking, she had lost. There hadn't been even one time where she'd won- or even come out equal, now that she thought about it. She had only lost, and lost, and lost, and kept losing. And as she that thought ran through her mind, she realised she could not go back to winning.
Punica felt her core clenching the moment the words left her voice box. She could see the fear that had appeared in Raqi's eyes when she had spoken the word 'hypnosis', but it was too late to back down now. If she had pretended to have misheard her earlier, she knew the xenosophont would not believe her.
There was a chance, Punica knew, that Raqi might attempt to expel her from the ship as she had threatened to do once in the past. If she did so, the affini was relatively confident that she would be able to react in time; but she did not relish the thought of having to find out. A brief stint in hard vacuum was one thing, but an indefinite vacation there was another all together. It was of course possible that she would be able to latch onto the hull of the ship and force her way back inside, but what if she couldn't? Her foliage still hadn't fully recovered from her initial stint there, and it wouldn't take more than probably half a minute for her to be reduced to just her core. Could she get back inside of the ship in that time? And if not, how long might it take for someone from the Compact to find her? Would they actually find her, out here in the middle of nowhere?
As scared as that thought made her, she had spoken the words anyway. It was clear to her now, from how Raqi was reacting, that this was the key to understanding her. Punica wanted desperately to understand this xenosophont; even more, she realised, than she wanted to ensure her own safety. Curiosity was the first emotion she had felt in their relationship, and it was still the one driving her now. But rather than a simple desire to know more intellectually, Punica now wanted to know so that she could help Raqi. She wanted to finally learn what circumstances had lead to Raqi Marr becoming the woman that she was, and what it was that she seemed to be so afraid of; so that whatever it was, she could assure her that she would absolutely not let it come to pass.
"Yes." The word left Raqi's mouth, and sealed her fate. "That's why I came here. ...I thought because you plants were so good at so many other things... it seemed probable that, maybe a few of you were into hypnosis." Her voice was quiet. She wasn't meeting Punica's gaze, but her eyes flicked constantly in the plant's direction; checking for any sign of movement. She couldn't decide if she should keep talking, or just wait for Punica to ask her another question. She felt, all of a sudden, so unbelievably small. Punica's core untensed, a wave of relief flowing through her. The immediate danger had passed; she could see it in the way that Raqi's posture had changed. Now, the girl was regarding her with fear and apprehension, but it was that of a creature that seemed frightened that the one they were regarding might be about to judge them; not one fearing for its life and prepared to fight back with everything it had to stop that from happening. She knew, however, that one misstep could send her right back to that place, and so it was that she sculpted her voice into as gentle and empathetic of a tone as she could manage for her next reply: "Do you mean that you were in search of someone to hypnotise you?" Hearing Punica say it out loud was so embarrassing. Raqi's cheeks felt like a furnace. "Y-yes," she stuttered out through gritted teeth. "It... It probably sounds ridiculous, but..." She let out a series of tiny noises; a mixture of hisses and simple exhales of breath, before spinning towards Punica. "Look, I can't- I can't talk about this! Not just- out of nowhere like this! There is- Th-" She growled, the muscles in her face tensing in frustration. "I don't- even know- where I would start with this. The reason I haven't talked about it until now was because..." "...Because you were worried what I would do if I knew," Punica finished for her. "Ye- Yes." Raqi nodded "I... I thought that if I told you, you would take it as meaning that I wanted to be domesticated, a-and enthrall me on the spot. I've been so scared, but at the same time..." She fell silent before finishing her sentence, breaking eye contact and turning her gaze towards the ground.
Still, the bigger picture could wait for the time being. It was important that she not get carried away, and remembered to take things one step at a time. In particular, there was one very important step she needed to take: Now that she knew in detail what it was that Raqi wanted, it was time to show her that she could in fact be trusted to give her it. Vines shot outwards from the base of Punica's dress and wrapped around Raqi's wrists and ankles, binding them gently, but with enough force to stop her from moving. The girl let out a yelp and tried to leap backwards, "P-Punica?!" Raqi exclaimed. "W-what are you-" "Shh. Calm yourself, little one." Raqi fell immediately silent, sending a burst of smug amusement through Punica at the sight. She'd had a feeling saying that would provoke a certain response in the xenosophont, and it very much had. Raqi now looked like she had just been given a hypermetric kick. She had ceased her struggling, arms and legs falling limp, while in contrast her eyes had shot open, and her mouth had fallen partly agape. "Wh-" The plant didn't even need to interrupt her this time; her voice simply cutting off mid-way through the word before she could even finish. Punica smirked. "I thought you might like that." She took a step towards Raqi's bound form, thorns gradually unfurling from their hiding places as she did. "You know this tone of voice, don't you, Raqi? You understand exactly what it means when someone speaks to you like this. Even if not consciously, then your body certainly remembers." Her smirk widened into a grin. "After all, look at you. Face flushed red like a berry, eyes wide like saucers... I may not know your race in detail, but some behaviours are ubiquitous among many sophont species." She kept walking until she was just in front of Raqi, then stopped and knelt down onto one knee, her head just high enough that the girl was still forced to look up at her to make eye contact. "You're loving this, aren't you?" Raqi froze completely. As Punica gazed down into her eyes, what she saw there was need; need that surpassed any ability to describe it. Desperation so intense that it had shut her mind down, pushing her consciousness back into some kind of primal state; a leftover from an earlier time time in her evolution, perhaps, when her ancestors had been faced with predators and needed to keep absolutely still to avoid being seen by them. It was, to the affini, utterly adorable. "I have never seen," the plant continued, voice filling with a possessive warmth, "such a vulnerable creature as you. A little push in the right tone of voice is all that it takes to shut you down completely." She moved her head closer. "You are weaker, more easily fixated, than even some of our fully trained florets." She tilted her head in a playful mockery of Raqi's own habit. "How does that thought make you feel?" Raqi was horrified. She stared agape at the giant, unable to even begin trying to think of a retort. Punica, on the other hand, laughed. "Under other circumstances, I might have mistaken you for a runaway," she continued playfully. "The thought that this level of submission could exist in an unowned sophont would never have even occurred to me. All this time, you have seemed so anxious about the prospect of losing control; and yet from the way you are looking at me right now, I am starting to wonder if you ever had any to begin with." That was too much, and she finally snapped out of her frozen state; brows furrowing with indignation. "That's not true! I- I was never just worried about losing control; it's my identity I'm concerned about! T-There's still a lot that I could lose there!" "Ah, ever so preoccupied with your identity. My dear, precious petal; I apologise. I have let you linger under false pretenses as to the nature of domestication for far too long." A hand reached out towards her, and a moment later, sharp, dagger-like nails pressed into Raqi's cheek. "Tell me, little one. If I domesticated you, what do you think would actually change from how you are now?" "Wh- what?" Raqi squirmed, instinctively trying to pull away from the sharp pressure in her cheek, but it was only then that she noticed a vine had pressed up against the other side of her head and was now holding it in place. "You... You'll try to fix me! You'll take away all the parts that hurt- all the- all of the trauma, all of the damage. It's- it's what you always do, to all of the florets in the stories. You take away all of the pain that made them the way they are, and..." She had stopped fighting now, and her face had grown downcast. "And they become someone else. And you'll do that to me, too. Because you're an affini, and that's what you always do." "Mhm..." Punica let out a contemplative rumble, feigning consideration for a moment. "And, what if I were to not do any of that? What, then, would be left of domestication?" The dread that had been overtaking Raqi's expression suddenly vanished, replaced with confusion. "What? But- but you can't just not do that. Y-you- You have to do that..." Her expression slackened, and she started blinking. "...right?" The edges of the affini's mouth curved upwards into a smile. "Certainly, I would have to find a way to make you happy. But you will find that there are as many definitions of 'happiness' within the Affini Compact as there are affini." She took a clawed finger and ran it gently under Raqi's chin, tracing circles around the soft skin at the tip of her neck. "Look at yourself, Raqi, and the way that the thought of this makes you tremble. Do you really think that any of those definitions would be achieved, were I to do such a thing to you?" Her posture softened. The fight seemed to go out of Raqi, leaving only confusion, and just the faintest glimpse - Punica saw, with delight that transcended words - of the beginnings of understanding. "But... but you could just make me happy even then, couldn't you?" "In much the same way that any xenosophont can be made limitlessly and eternally happy through the use of class-o xenodrugs, yes," Punica replied. "Does that mean that we give class-O's to every one of our florets? No, of course not. The happiness that you would achieve were I to do such a thing to you would be a hollow form of joy; one devoid of any respect for the you that existed prior." She opened her mouth to speak, but the words that came out were not those she had expected to come. Instead of the next flowery verse she had prepared, the words she spoke were ones that came straight from her core; those which she had been yearning to say from the moment she had realised what it was the girl was afraid of. "Do you honestly believe that I would ever do such a thing to you?" Raqi stared up at Punica. Ten minutes ago, she would not have hesitated to say 'yes.' Ten minutes ago, she had not been able to shake the fear that this very plant might have been the one to take away everything she had ever loved about herself, and to mould her into a new form that was not her at all. But now, as she stared into the plant's eyes and heard the kindness - the empathy, the warmth, the love in her voice, she knew it could never be. She whispered her answer. "No." "Good girl." The praise hit Raqi like a physical object. Her entire body lurched, and she would have lost her balance and collapsed, had not more vines come to join those already around her wrists and ankles; curling around and supporting her even as her muscles gave out. The fear, indecision, and anxiety that had coloured every part of the interaction thus far since Raqi had first heard Punica speak the word 'hypnosis' finally dissipated, and she found herself staring at the plant with a look that bordered upon devotion. This, she realised, was how they got you. It was not the drugs, or the vines or the hypnosis; it was the genuine care and understanding which they showed in every action, the love and affection that they showered you in where everyone who had come before had given you only scraps. It was the way that they made you feel, for the first time in your life, as if there was someone who truly wanted you for you. Had Punica asked, Raqi was certain she would have given herself over to the plant then and there. Punica could tell as well, and for a moment, the thought tempted her; but it was only for an instant. The entire point of what she was doing right now was to show Raqi that she could be trusted, and using that to manipulate her into accepting domestication would have been even worse than doing it the forceful way. Besides, teasing her was one thing; turning her into a floret was another thing entirely. The former did often beget the later, yes, but she was still very intent on not doing that; or at least so she told herself. Lie or not, it was enough to let her maintain control despite the vulnerability on display before her, and she used both of her hands hands to take gentle control of Raqi's head; wrapping them around the entirety of the xenosophont's head and smiling softly at her. "Now now, Raqi. It is far too early for you to be giving me that look. Before we go any further, you still have not answered my question yet." The girl gave her a look that said she had completely forgotten there had even been a question to begin with. After a few seconds of patient grinning, however, Raqi seemed to remember what Punica was talking about. "I- Well- I-I'd become a pet, obviously. W-which means t-that, uhm... You'd make me become s-submissive, a-and d-d-docile?" She quirked an eyebrow. "Are you not already submissive and docile? You are certainly more easily made to obey than many of our pets." She delighted in the way that Raqi's cheeks somehow found a way to turn even redder in response to her teasing. "If you were to become mine, little flower, what would that even entail beyond a change in your status? Given how well-trained you already are, what would there even be left for me to teach you?" She paused. "Would anything change at all?" Then, she leaned even closer; until her eyes were mere inches away from Raqi's. "Or are you already domesticated, in everything but name?" "S-s-s-s-stop," Raqi whimpered. "P-please." Punica almost hesitated, almost let the girl go- but then she realised that the sound was one of desire, not fear. She had simply pushed Raqi to the point where the girl could not take any more, and she was now begging for relief. The affini smiled. "Admit to me, then, that this is what you wanted." She didn't even hesitate. "Yes," Raqi breathed. "T-this is- w-what I w-w-wanted." Punica's smile softened, but her voice hardened. "Good girl." Raqi shivered and convulsed once again. It took even longer for the spasms of pleasure to subside, and when they did, she felt even more dazed than she had done before. She had barely any idea what was happening to her any more. She was barely cognizant of anything other than her breathing, her body and the pleasure that Punica was forcing through it, and the plant herself. No thoughts came other than those required to answer her questions, and neither was she capable of wanting any to form. In that moment, she finally had what she wanted, and she rejoiced in it. "I think that is the first time you have been genuinely honest with me while while not under some sort of influence," Punica said, continuing. The plant ruffled her hair affectionately, soliciting several more delighted gasps. Her tone then changed to one of incredulity, and for what Raqi thought might have been the first time, she heard her swear openly. "You are so utterly adorable. By the Everbloom, how in the stars have you managed to go this long without somebody from your home claiming you?" But every moment, no matter how blissful, had to end eventually. Punica's words fell like cold water over her, driving away the heady excitement and replacing it with a familiar bitterness, as she thought of the circumstances that had forced her to leave the Mobile Fleet. Punica, keenly attentive to even the subtlest changes in Raqi as she was, noticed the change in her mood immediately and quickly moved to accommodate it. She shifted gears almost instantly, her own desire subsiding back down to a manageable level as she let the vines binding Raqi relax; keeping those needed to hold her up in place, while the ones restricting her movement pulled away. "I'm sorry, Raqi. Did I say something that upset you?" "No, no." Raqi replied immediately, shaking her head. "It- it wasn't you. What you said just reminded me of what it's like back in the Mobile Fleet." She struggled to keep the discomfort off of her face. "The reason that no one has taken me before now is that back on the Gliese, this entire dynamic is virtually unheard-of. Hypnosis, pet play, drugging - hell, even basic D&S play - are all things that are still seen as completely abnormal. Sure, you might find someone here or there who likes one or two of those things, but not all of them. And even if you did, they sure as hell wouldn't be living in a suburban shithole like I was." The earlier mood had well and truly been extinguished, Punica realised. She made no attempt to rekindle it; focusing instead on what the xenosophont needed of her now. When Raqi eventually looked back up at her, asking for permission with her gaze to continue speaking, Punica quickly nodded assent. Raqi opened her mouth to speak, but abruptly stopped, a look of confusion forming on her face. She turned her gaze down towards her right hand, where she only now registered the presence of the vine that had been sat snugly against her palm for the entire duration of their scene. "Oh. I- I didn't even notice this was here." Punica rumbled warmly. "I did promise to keep it there whenever I was teasing you, didn't I?" Raqi let out a soft laugh. "Yeah... you did." She took a deep breath, and some of the strength seemed to start returning to her muscles. A moment later, Punica felt her legs tensing, and she started to gradually release the remaining vines from around Raqi's body, doing so one at a time until she was sure the girl was steady. Once Raqi had been fully released, it still took her a while before she felt completely safe on her feet. She also made the conscious decision to avoid eye contact with Punica for that duration, in order to avoid getting sucked back down into subspace. "T-thank you. Sorry, I just- need a sec to calm down a bit." "That is quite alright, dear." Punica nodded. "Take all the time you need." She did not turn to look at Punica, but the plant saw the corners of her mouth twitch upwards nonetheless.
TerraTranslate :: Raqi Marr :: Punica Granatum :: The Affini Compact :: Landamar Mobile Fleet :: Hormone Replacement Therapy :: The Chimera Module :: Affini :: Intersidera :: Posters :: Magnesium :: Wonderland :: The Hundredth Time: Part I :: Communication :: aftermath :: Physical Confrontation :: Garments :: Interspecies Comparisons :: Touch :: Equality :: Hypnokink :: Speaking ::