Beginning - Pirate Arc pt.1

‘The Story So Far’

The balance of the world subsists

On tales of heroes, lies, and twists

On monsters fought and magic won

Our Heroes’ quest first begun

Quite long ago, but here we start

Our legend great, a work of art

The safety of Drizelia we’re told

Began with but a quest for gold.

Chp. 1 A Quest for Gold

Once upon a time, in a rather large town known as Fandolin. Three adventures met in a small tavern called the Frosted Turtle. There was the devoted cleric of Mystra, who after another long day of repairing a desecrated temple, followed a lead promising gold and a cart to help in said repairs. One of her cousins, a half-orc warrior, looking to build up his rapport and known for getting shit done, was hired to protect the cart. Finally, the trustable mogul elf was hired for his knack at traveling and prowess with a bow. Nara, Dave, and Zanzibar. After meeting in the tavern with Gundren Rockseeker and Barry Bluejeans they shared a contract and a night of drinks, the new found friends set out on the mission. But halfway to the town of Neverwinter they discovered the dead horses of their employer and Bluejeans, who had set out the night before. They also met Gundren’s personal bodyguard, the injured Brea Exilus. Suddenly ambushed by the same Goblins, the party traversed the trapped cave and found a barely breathing, beaten, Barry Bluejeans but were offered a deal by one of the hobgoblins. Kill their BugBear Boss Klaarg and Barry goes free. The party instead told the boss of their employee’s corruption. After being given all of Klaarg’s valuables as well as a wonderful Oolong Tea, Klaarg asked them to kill the goblins instead of him as well as take Barry as he didn’t really want to be their leader anyway. They expertly dispatched of the goblins. Dave cut one in twane, Zanzibar bounced an arrow into their leaders loins, and Nara freed a water dryad as well as a dire-wolf. Befriending this dryad and naming their new found pet Rust. The party then returned to Fandolin Back at the Crested Turtle, Frillis the wood elf made omelets as Barry explained that a crime lord of the area known as the Black Spider was responsible for kidnapping Gundren and was taking him to Wave Echo Cave. The Rockseeker Family’s old Mine that was taken over by Orcs decades before. The party planned to set out, the beaten Barry stayed in order to recover. On the path ahead lay many obstacles. After Nara had a strange dream about Mystra and Pan, they took the cart, as well as secretly robbing a bank in Fandolin, and set out. After some reflection realizing what that the bugbear must have been under some sort of charm that affects his personality” Using a map that only the blood of a Rockseeker can activate they found the path to Wave Echo Cave. The party found a mysterious and deadly plant growing out of a tiny box that seemed to be digesting the corpses of an orc-raided village. They sealed the box and the next day found themselves locked in a crypt. After killing the cult/owners of the aforementioned bank they freed a young girl named Brean (not Brea, ik ik) and swore a paladin oath to protect the world from the undead. Nara had to deal with weird frog hallucination after being poisoned by the box-plant called menacingly enough “deaththorn”. In wave echo cave, the party hears the echoes of waves, fights a slime, and after seeing signs of camps and a few dead dwarves. In the far depth of the cave they met a half-orc woman named Killy-anne after she kicks down a door. Only when she said certain things they only heard static, she then animated a machine with the intent to slow them down. Post chain grinding halt to the machine, Nara decides to grab one of the hinges from that door and swears a quiet revenge on the women because this was not her door to break. Thus, this ragtag party names themselves... The Unhinged. Zan finds a kinds-sentient umbrella next to a skeleton, it rejects nara but the skeleton looks up at zan and then turns to dust. They later found her losing a fight against the Black Spider, who’s christian name was Magic Brian. A hot drow with a spider on his tabard. After a hard fought battle in which Nara almost died, the black spider fled with Gundren Rockseeker and disguised himself as gundren’s clone. Gundren woke up and the black spiders german accent gave him away. They ventured down into the vault where untold riches were suppose to be stored but only found a hard to look at gauntlet and a floor of black glass. Gundren became enraged thinking Killy-anne, being half-orc, was responsible and put on the gauntlet (which called out to the party to put it on) he instantly went up in flames and his voice went cold as he flame blasted himself to the surface. The party and Killy-anne, then followed him back to Fandolin, freeing an orc-boy from slavers on the way. The slavers were taking advantage of the emolated band of orcs that must have been in Gundren’s way. In Fandolin they convinced Gundren to resist the voice inside the gauntlet but the orc-boy shoots him in the back from the outskirts of town and Unable to contain the magic of the gauntlet, Gundren begins to combust. The party quickly takes shelter in the Town’s well and after what seemed like an eternity of flames above them, climbed out of the well to find that Fandolin was gone and all that remained was a circle of black glass, and a smoking metal gauntlet. Killy-anne, who was knocked unconscious on the side of the well wakes up to questions and accusations. She explains that she physically can’t explain, that same static coming out of her mouth when she tries. She invites them back to her base in a glass sphere that lands at their feet.

Chp. 2 Moon & Train

The party then gets inducted into the Bureau of Balance, a base on the pseudo-second moon that is a grassy hemisphere with salvador dali museum style domes for buildings and learns about the relic wars as well as meet Avi Rosefetter (the guard and transportation expert, the Madame Director, Johan the bard, and Garfield the Deals Warlock (A magic store owner). The party gets to know Fable Exilus, a moon elf seeker for the BoB. And Rust is somehow shrunk to the size of a penny. Fable is able to undo this, but Rust’s rusty pelt turns icy white in the process. They also find out that Brian was fable’s old partner until he betrayed the Bob. The party collects the cart from wave echo cave and takes it to a nearby town to help supply Fandolin refugees, who thanks to the BoB do not remember existed. You see those who don’t drink the Voidfish’s ichor cannot remember any information that is fed to it. Only members of the BoB are inoculated, this in order to keep order. You see, that strange voice from the gauntlet, is a magical thrall that people will start wars over in order to get. The party leans all of this and joins the bureau after passing a trail of initiation that requires them to work as a team to take out 3 trolls. Dave gets slapped by a troll so hard he almost dies. They are then rewarded for collecting the first of what is a known 7 relics, given the black bracers that every member wears, and shop at the Fantasy Costco. Additionally, Zanzabar is introduced to Guns, he’s even better with them than a bow (even turns the umbrella into a magic pistol). After a few weeks of hanging out at the BoB HQ, the party gets woken up one early morning to receive their first big mission. So they go to the director’s dome in PJs. Reclaimer Leeman Kessler had just managed to retrieve a Grand Relic near Rockport, but due to bad weather, the BoB was unable to pick him up with a Transport Sphere (commonly called a bubble). Luckily there is a train that travels from Taryuin to Rockport. The train’s route will take about 3 hours, from Taryuin to rockport. Kessler secured passage on it and has placed the Grand Relic in with the cargo of the train, but was unfortunately murdered the night before. There is no current information on the murder. Dave decides he will have to impersonate Leeman Kessler and get on the train to retrieve the Relic. No one on the train has ever met Kessler, so appearance changes aren’t really necessary, but he did buy his ticket with a scottish accent over a stone of far speech (Drizelia’s equivalent of phones, also called rocky talkies or SFSs). Fable joins them as he wants to meet up with Brea to ensure her safety On the way to the surface the party hits a flock of pegasuses and is knocked into a swamp. After fighting some giant leeches they make the trek to Taryuin, a beautiful city on the coast of Drizelia with a large stone wall around it. On the path they meet a hooded figure with a familiar accent, he turns out to be a resurrected Magic Brian who stabs Fable with silverpoint poison. This rare poison damns a person’s body. Fable knowing his time is up, uses all of his arcane knowledge and energy and confronts the traitor to the Bureau. Imbued with the strength of Nara Fable stands up to his full wizarding height, points his parasail wand at Brian. “Abraca fuck you!” Fable sends a green bolt of electricity so strong that it blows the entire party backward. Brian is turned to charred dust and the party sends fable’s body back up to the base. The relic is locked in the cargo safe on the train so the unhinged decide to ride the train. Nara has a dream about a red spectre that gives her pink glasses, when she wakes up she has them and they seem to reveal things. They discover a murder plot as well as the Rockport Slayer himself, the man who killed Leeman. In the span of 3 hours, the wizard attendant Jenkins is murdered, beheaded and behanded. They meet several people on the train, a boy who is actually a undercover cop named Angus Mcdonald, a UFC fighter named Jess the Beheader, and Jenkins understudy Graham the juicy wizard. They later find out that Jenkins was actually the killer and he killed the engineer of the train in order to open the safe and get the relic as well as everyone’s valuables. The party kills Jenkins and throw him off the now runaway train. They find that Jenkins tracked the voided relic using a compass that points at whatever is most valuable. The power of the relic lead him right to it. Along with his room-key wand, he was the perfect criminal. Also nara has that compass. The party stops the train with that room-key wand by teleporting the Entire train into Jenkin’s personal garden as one last Fuck you. Angus thanks them for helping him solve the case, Jess invites them to a ufc match, Graham re-evaluates his life, and Nara remembers her passion for gardening. They then find a figure frozen in a bronze casing in a wheat field outside of Rockport and it turns out to be Brea Exilus, Fable’s reason for coming with the party. She claims that the druids of the Meresladen must have done this as they have been messing with Rockport to stop its expansion into their woods and after learning of fable’s death goes into the woods to confront the druids. The party then returns with the relic, a small monocle that promises to make their dreams a reality, who’s thrall they resist but have to hide from Jess and Graham as they instantly fall under its spell. They solved the train mystery!

Chp. 3 Raven & Ram & Petals

The party spends the next few weeks on the Moon Base, now in their new Apartment at the bottom of the base, commissioned with their original reward they now have money from the monocle called the Oculus, to buy magical items to help them on their journey. The meet the new recruit Civi Laveau, a paladin of Ilthur, she becomes an honorary member of the Unhinged and moves in next door with her team, Killy-anne, and a dwarf named Boyland. Remember that strange plant in a box that poisoned Nara? After trading a few hands it opens again into a tulip, when Nara cuts the stem suddenly they are in a giant library on a strange planet. They meet a man named Han Throbee who asks them about the weather in order to complete ‘the archives’. They also meet an annoyed twi'lek, and a druidic women named Venus Rothenel, she decides to join the party since her life is boring enough here. The Unhinged live on the Moon Base and become accustomed to their new life and friend rather quickly. Zan does more research into weaponry, Dave finds romance in Garfieldt, and Nara is able to get back to the comforting hobby of gardening. Fable and Leeman are given a proper funeral called the Rites of Remembrance, in which their identities are fed to the voidfish, and they get a special type of training. The Unhinged are suddenly, without remembering how they got there, in a dungeon hallway, like stereotypical style acid pit traps and such. One of them falls into that acid trap and is digitized and then appears next to them. Turns out they are in a Virtual Reality Simulation of a basic ass tomb, called the tomb of horrors. This is training for the BoB and they make their way through a very strange tomb until confronting a lich that they defeat through the power of dance? (You’ll have to ask the Unhinged about that one as even I’m not quite sure what happened) They then wake up in a forest next to a black obelisk and a cave, when they walk into the cave, they walk out of it. Unable to get in they mess with the obelisk when suddenly it shatters and a Red Robe comes out of it and begins to kill the party one by one until they are all dust. The End. That would be lame, actually they wake up back on the Bureau, and punch the first person they see in their rage for being put through that. This happens to be a halfling man named Robbie aka Pringles who is a bartender and potion master for the BoB. The party is also gifted their own stones of far speech (rocky talkies) Annoyed about the simulation, they are informed by the director that one of the Bureau’s sleeper agents has located one of the Relics, a criminal called the Raven has it in her possession and is using it to cause havoc in the city of Goldcliff. No one has died yet, but the party is needed immediately. So with their new weapons, friend, and gear they set off! But before I forget to, I should mention that Dave buys a mystery bag from the Fantasy Costco and inside is a Goldfish he names Terry. Zanzabar then buys a Vodka drinking T’pere Weir tree octopus (that almost always refuses to leave his shoulder) named Jeremy, and Rust acts like moody teen. The Western T’pere Weir Isles are a bunch of floating islands to the west of Drizelia, almost exclusively elves live there. It’s actually where Brea and Fable are from, those will be important later. The Unhinged then leave for the city of goldcliff. A Dazzling city with a lots of tall sandstone buildings that look plated in gold in the desert sun; situated on a cliff with waterfalls falling off opposing sides, below the water fills a beautiful basin and a lush mesa biome slowly turns into a dry desert. The desert has trails of dust and sand that look like small sand storms. About 5 miles away from the city are black 30 ft Pylons that these dust clouds seem to be flying close to. In the center of the city is the largest building with a big engraved sign "GOLDCLIFF TRUST" They land nearby and run into a man stabbing an already dead corpse in a fury. They calm him down and he introduces himself as Juan Slick, former rogue turned baker in a downtown new jessory street cafe. The man he killed had just killed his dog, Mr. Pancakes the fluffy. He agrees to join The Unhinged in order to find a new purpose in life while he grieves his lost best friend. Dave gives a Eulogy and Mr. Pancakes is immortalized as Rust breaths shimmering frost breath on the gravestone that doesn’t seem to melt. They then approached the goldcliff trust.
It is surrounded by giant. Ass. Vines.
The Director informed them that the sleeper agent is the captain of the militia. His name is Cpt. Captain Bane. They meet him outside the trust and see the vines quickly surrounding the building. Using newly acquired magic, Nara uses the hole-thrower to open a dimensional hole through the vines into the first floor. The group then splits up. Nara hinted at by pink-glasses leaves to go talk to some children playing in the street. Dave and Juan go into the 1st floor only to be attacked by a treant. Venus and Zanzabar climb to the second floor and find ledgers showing large sums of money being deposited to a V. L. They then join the fight downstairs. After defeating the tree they take the elevator to the top floor vault and encounter The Raven. She knocks Juan unconscious offering them the chance to all leave. As the fight goes on nara almost collects the gaia sash but the raven says nothing can beat her “prove it” and turns to mist takes it and flees. A halfling women named Hurley helps them rapel the building and they then investigate around town. Meeting Merrick Lightwood and aasimar sorcerer and Mrs. Lotus in the Lotus Hotel, they realize time passes very quickly inside. Hurley offers them the chance to beat the raven whose real name is Sloane, in a battle-wagon race. Which as she knows being sloane’s old racing partner should prove to her that the belt isn’t all powerful and break the thrall. Because it’s illegal all racers wear masks of a certain animal, hence the raven. The unhinged then steal a Lacrane Core from a local gang of racers called the Hammerheads to help Hurley’s battlewagon get the boost it would need to beat the raven. After a few days of training the Unhinged go through an epic battle-wagon combat as everything is legal in this race “Hello my name is Dave; pleased to meet me!” They fight everything from giant hamster wheels, to shark-tanks, to giant cyborg boars and end up winning after breaking the raven’s winged boat. The Raven then tries to give up the sash but is instead completely taken over by its thrall turning the sky black and an epic boss battle in a tornado ends with Zan’s umbrella eating the Lacrane core and shooting an insanely powerful spell directly at The Raven’s face. Still not defeated, Hurley throws the unhinged off the cliff with safety harnesses and sacrifices herself to the silverpoint vines surrounding the raven in order to save Sloane. Having regained consciousness, Sloane, In a last ditch effort to save Hurley from silverpoint’s curse, turns them both into a cherry blossom tree. Only asking that the unhinged don’t let this happen again. Nara then collects the sash as Bane arrives with the militia and takes them to his office to debrief. In his office, Zan leaves with Merrick Lightwood as the unhinged are offered a toast and some brandy to celebrate Hurley’s life. They refuse the drink as Bane slowly grows angry and glows red while they refuse to drink. Suddenly he is very calm and smacks their drinks out of their hands and drinks his own. He then falls over convulsing. Nara rushes to their would be murderers aid as a red spectre in a flowing robe floats where Bane was just standing. He warns them of the hunger of all man and all things. Lists off the people who have died because of the relics and tells them this is their first lesson before disappearing. The Unhinged leave with an unconscious Bane, learn that Merrick is the mysterious M.V.L. and that he runs the gangs they buy some magic beans from a shopkeep who says he knows garfield. They plant one and then in 5 seconds kill the treant that grows where the bean was planted. After Juan retrieves his old stash, they call a bubble and return to the BoB.

Chp. 4 Pirates & Illusion & Rust & Butterflies

The return of the party, minus Zanzibar, is greeted with a crowd of applause from BoB members as they all spectated the race. They quickly go to the director who destroys the relic and rewards them, then asks them to join her in her office. She asks them about their encounter with the Red Robe. “They should all be long dead” and asks them to trust her and run if they ever see another one. They would be the end of the BoB if they found out and broke through the Voidfish’s enchantment. The next morning merrick comes to their apartment and Zanzibar suddenly appears frozen to a chair. He had accidentally been sent through a portal to literal hell and jeremy had died. They eat pancakes. A week passes and the unhinged spend their hard earned gold at the Fantasy Costco and train for the next mission. Jeremey reappears...but this time he is a parrot. Zanzibar realizes that jeremy is a fiend called a familiar that he had learned about in his studies at The Academy. The Unhinged throw a party for johan to try and cheer him up and the voidfish for the first time communicates with dave and then venus and nara through music. They decipher that it communicates through music and it says “eggbabe” over and over. Venus researches the relic wars in a diary from leon’s collection. Johan disobeying the core tenets of the BoB allows the unhinged to feed pictures and music to the voidfish without permission. Venus finds that Merrick was part of the reason that the sword coast forest was burned down but that he also was “brave” in battle. He shys away from the subject when asked. The party is then sent to New Elfington in order to board a ship commissioned for them to find the enchantment relic which is rumored to be on the Mindless Isles west of Drizelia. Zanzibar and Civi dress is full pirate attire from their days before the BoB, a letter from augustus parsons arrives and Venus is given a custom made scythe named “Dajjal”. Juan explains that his sword is sentient. The party runs into Brea Exilus who no longer remembers Fable, meet Castair Antiguan (a purple tiefling bard assigned to join them), and board the boat. The Flying Jaxi, captained by human Mitus Hawkins. Sets sail for the mindless isles. Each of the unhinged is given private quarters which seem to be built to their style. Dinner that night is served by a humanoid squid who goes by A-dou. Only to be interrupted by the crow’s nest tabaxi known as Ammiece yelling out “Pirates!”. Turns out the pirates happened to be old friends with Captain Mitus and did not recognize his new vessel, however after a confusing skirmish with a long haired man, golden eyed man, with a flying sailboat, they set aside their differences. A skipped handshake and a deal of rum for treasure was made. Strange things were afoot, the unhinged could barely cast a spell without something going wrong. A Jaxi crew member named Rogar Windbreaker, a black dragonborn sorcerer, showed his might in battle, yet this elusive individual seemed to dodge every attack. Venus, trying her damndest, could not stay on his dingy With Nara’s help and armed to the teeth, Dave climbed a deftly attached rope as the infiltrator fled, barely catching a handle before the rope was caught.
From this point on, Dave takes notes, check out those! Pirate Arc