Excerpt: Malevolent Narrator

"Herein lies the story of the history of all mankind, with claims being supported by archaeological finds and documentation from the given time period." Ahh yes. A very accurate depiction of seven thousand years of history, from humble beginnings of hunting and gathering allll the way up to conquering the known solar system. Well, at least they say its accurate. This is not the case, dear reader. You know they still don't even know how the site of the northern grain field was built? All this time to uncover the methods used by their ancestors and still, not a damn clue.
But I know. I know every single detail of how they started from the bottom, just banging rocks together to where they are now. Now I'm short on time to tell you the story of every living being, so how about I let you in on the backstory of ohh lets see... three families! Yes, three families will do and I'll be sure to keep out the boring bits of peace. Bah! Who needs peace anyway!
First to the northern grain fields, about one hundred years prior to the beginning of the actual calendar just as... Oh! Nearly spoiled the surprise! No no, reader I'll let you figure out what makes this bit of history entertaining.
Now the Incheshi culture had struck gold running into that giant field of wild wheat just growing in a wide band just south of the largest mountain range in the world, they had a pantry just outside their doorsteps...