And so it begins...

Am I supposed to, like, pray to you on a regular basis or something? I think that I heard that's what you're supposed to do with gods and the like. Not that I know much about it or anything. Seriously, this whole religion thing really isn't my cup of tea. The next time I see something glowing, I'm going to remember what happened. I learn from my mistakes. Believe me, I do.
 
Still. Pray. I can do that.
 
. . .
 
. . .
 
... crap. I'm not entirely sure how to do that. Tell you what, how about I just talk to you, and we'll call it a prayer? Does that work? Maybe? I'm not on fire or anything, so I'll take that as a "yes." Let me know if you want me to stop, otherwise I'll just assume you're listening.
 
So today was weird as shit, huh? I mean, I thought yesterday was bad with the whole flying snakes and really-bad-at-fighting goblin, but Icy was cool. And, wow, does he have a big–
 
Actually, should I be talking about that with you? What's your opinion on sex, because if I need to not talk about sex with you, that's going to cut into any potential conversations quite a bit. Whatever. Send me a sign or something if you want me to not bring it up. Seriously, though, Icy is built. I suddenly understand Basil's thing for goliaths a lot more, because woof. My height suddenly becomes a lot more convenient with someone that tall.
 
Anyway, where was I? Weirdness. That's right. Yeah, today was fucking weird. I mean, really, that Tear person was talking in my head! Nonstop! He was talking, and his mouth wasn't moving, but I could hear him! And so could everyone else! That was fucking weird. Really cool. But weird.
 
I mean, I guess the whole goblin attack thing was pretty out there too. But, seriously. The guy talks in your head! I want to do be able to do that. Is there something you can do to make it so I can do that? Because that would be cool. I'm just saying.
 
Uh. Amen? Is that what I'm supposed to say when I'm done? Seriously, is there a handbook or something? I don't know how this works.