Dangerous Gnoll-age (sorry... the puns are spreading...)

Ok, the not thinking last night didn't go great. Ellywick didn't seem to mind having to sleep alone... and noted that Sildar is "just another human". She might not be interested in me, but at least it's not because of him. And I'm not human, so maybe... No. I'm being stupid and should focus on travel. We have a long way to go to get to Waterdeep by foot.
 
We had travelled for most of the day when we saw smoke from a distance as a farm had been set ablaze. While cooperation and quick action were able to save the house, the barn was left as only ash and cinder. The family who had lived there, and what remains of livestock we could find, had been killed by various blades and eaten. Not necessarily in that order. With enough bite-marks on bones to go on, Ellywick was able to determine that the attackers were most likely Gnolls. I've only heard a few stories of these creatures before, but the stories are always clear on the raw viciousness of them.
 
I left a couple of feathers on top of the grave we dug for the family. I hope their souls are able to find peace together under the protection of one of the more pleasant gods. Chauntea often wants to protect farmers and those to care for the land.
 
One dead child the day before, seven more at the farm. It seems a lot of destinies are short.
 
In any case, we followed the tracks. While they might not be difficult to see this time around, Ellywick still got that focused expression. Which has nothing to do with what's important and luckily Eye interrupted me from watching the gnome, telling us about the gnoll camp further ahead. Not wanting to face the pack tired or with two of our allies having trouble with the darkness, we set up camp ourselves.
 
While I did make sure to keep watch, my eyes did wander. And at one point they fell on Ellywick's quiver and the three enchanted arrows she had bought. I'm far from an expert at anything related to archery, but they really seem well made. Though... One of them had a tiny red string tied to it, next to the feathers. I wondered if this was something Sildar had placed there to remind her of him. I hate the idea of her pushing me away because I actually tell her how I feel... But maybe I could show her... something. So I got another string and wrapped it around one of the other arrows. I tried to make mine even shorter and more discreet than the other.
 
Eye isn't a night bird and had lost track of the gnolls when they left in the morning. At least he compensated and was able to help us see them at a distance as we closed in on them. And closed in we did, even if I barely had a chance to contribute to the fight. Suffrax' studies have clearly paid off since he was able to send two huge fireballs that burnt most of the gnolls to a crisp. It also burned Rupert, but he seems to understand that there weren't many options. And burning those who had burned down the life of that family earlier seemed fitting.
 
Happy to move on, we continued to Leilon. And like most of the trip so far, I have had trouble not trying to be close to Ellywick. Not sure if she's noticed, but I try to look like I'm focused on other things when she looks over. I need to stop this... It's getting ridiculous. I'm behaving like the younger ones of my marks back when I tricked people for a living. I guess she sort of got 100 gold from me the other day, so... Good accidental swindling?
 
Back to the adventuring. Telling the captain of the guard about the gnolls, she didn't seem overly concerned which surprises me. Nor did she seem to care about sending word to people about the family that had been killed. But I guess part of it could be explained by worry over the attacks on livestock that has apparently happened a lot lately. Attacks by something that burrow. We'll check that out in the morning but the immediate need was for a room. And beer.
 
Hurgh had somehow gotten himself kicked out of the inn. Impressive for someone who can normally sing himself into free lodging. At least the rest of us could get rooms, food and drinks. Me sharing room with Ellywick. Because it's practical. Not because I'm torturing myself by wishing for too much. Nope. Not at all.
 
The evening was filled mostly with Ellywick telling stories and drinking beer. I helped out with some special effects here and there, but she was quite mesmerizing on her own. However, any evening comes to an end and once we went to our room, Ellywick barely got into the bed before she fell asleep.
 
I didn't think much of the fact that I unpacked my backpack in the evening in order to make sure that everything is clean, intact and not crumpled together in a mess. I know what sleeping with a blanket with incense smushed into it smells like, and I'd prefer not to repeat that. I can't go through it while we're out in the woods or curled up in some abandoned mine, but staying at an inn seems like a good time to unpack as I go to bed. That turned out to be riskier than I expected.
 
Packung up in the morning, Ellywick noted my.. other clothes. I guess I don't really present myself the way I used to, so the difference between the cleric Nepheri and the scantily clad Meena - my alter ego. I guess, in a way, Meena now represents a part of my real self more than she was first intended when I forged the documents. It was... awkward and I was half in panic. I tried to explain that I had used people, but ended up sounding like I had been a prostitute. I tried to go for the angle that it was just a tool and sounded like it was my normal attire- which it obviously isn't. So I decided to go with it and show my disguise kit and tell her what I can do.
 
I don't know what to make of this... Maybe I've gone about it all wrong, trying to hide my past from her. I might need to show her. She even seemed curious about the idea of me in my dance clothes... Of course, I know that this is approaching some sort of a point. In retrospect, my feelings for her have been growing for weeks but I'm too good a liar to even have discovered it myself until it was too late, and I certainly don't blame her if she hasn't figured it out. Gods I hope she hasn't figured it out - I'd be mortified. But I also need for her to know. Goddess, I need for her to know. But the idea of telling her and her pushing me away makes me feel sick. Continue to help her while we travel but not more, I could live with... Well, I'd have to. But completely losing the only person I've ever had feelings for and can be reasonably sure I'm not just trying to exploit.
 
Yeah. This is going to be a fun day. Let's focus on defeating cattle killing moles