Why Am I Doing This Again?

I have decided to join Dies. After the attack left the estate. I travel with Dies, a talkative man named Jaeger, this strange woman that appeared out of nowhere called Yumomo Yumo, a capable warrior named Amiri and some nosy bard named Linzi. The Moogle attempted to deface Dies's character... He will be a problem. Assume the worst and anticipate for a counter attack. Perhaps use us to do the work then strike? Defacing didn't seem to work so expect cowardly tactics. Best chance is to take us now but he won't.
 
We arrived at Oleg's Trading Outpost. Prepared for a counter offensive against servants of the Stag Lord. Refrained from dealing killing blows on Dies's request... strange to stay my hand. Jaeger on the other hand showed minimal restraint... a warrior of his experience lacking self control? Curious. Perhaps his blood thirst overcame him. Sloppy but familiar... He refuses to speak to anyone. Guarded. I can respect that. I wonder if he is compromised. Yumo is... somehow, nosier than the bard. Her skills are useful and magic is powerful but seems too lax. She is curious but how much until she becomes a detriment to the group? Amiri is strong and capable. Restrained. She is honorable but seems to hold onto something. I can respect that but must keep an eye on her. Linzi is capable but reckless. Her attitude may get her hurt and could put Dies at risk. I can't let that happen.
 
Dies pulled me aside to talk... he worries he isn't strong enough. He isn't sure of where he is going. Harumi... he reminds me of you. I don't know what I'm doing but coddling isn't my strong suit. He needs someone to have faith in him and give him a little push... won't force him but he is strong and if the path he is on feels right to him I will help him. I swore to him and I won't break my word. I couldn't protect you... but I will do everything in my power to protect him. He doesn't want to lead... he doesn't need the power; however, he seems willing to step up. To help those that can't help themselves. He is better than me at that age... I will help him on whatever path he wishes to follow. I trust him.
 
We scoured the nearby countryside and wandered through the forest completing jobs for the town and mapping the nearby surroundings. In our travels we found the Goblin's whereabouts and descended into their home avoiding killing as much as possible. After some time we stumbled upon two strangers caught in a strange device that was using feathers to... tickle them. One is named Zora, a white mage with exceptional skill. Seems lost... could hold some secret that can be detrimental. The other is called Gregor, loud but good in a fight. His skill with nature and tracking has proven useful. His jolly nature is suspicious, perhaps housing darker intentions... They need to be watched. We managed to broker peace between the Kobold and Goblin tribes removing a sorcerer from power and the Kobolds killing him without mercy.
 
Our next destination was the Stag Lord's camp. With all of us gathered, Jaeger and Gregor traveled into the camp to scout and identify weak points. Using Jaeger's familiar to communicate it was clear they had been caught... I would not risk Dies or the others on a suicide mission. Jaeger's inability to adapt to his surroundings is incredibly pitiful. He claims to have experience but lacks common sense... Risks like this costs lives and that is something we cannot afford! I withheld the group until Gregor appeared informing us of the situation and providing us ample information of who to look out for and how best to make our assault. Our assault was successful however Dies was gravely injured in the heat of combat... I was fearful I had failed him. Jaeger owes Gregor and the others his life but I spoke to him. He seems to not register his life as important. I wouldn't be surprised if he considered our actions as risky and unnecessary. Dies does not see him or any of us as soldiers to be thrown aside... It is something I'm having a hard time adjusting to myself. Our lives seem to mean something... it makes me wonder.