Untitled: Written on a slip of paper when drunk, hastily shoved into backpack to burn later and forgotten

It is difficult to sleep most nights. Running from the ghosts that haunted me has led me to create new ones.
 
It is easier to laugh about things when the alternative is dwelling on them. Easier to pretend insecurity is professional paranoia instead of crippling anxiety. Getting attached leads to heartbreak. With family, with friends, with Lila.
 
Some people see through it, I know. But then it is even more important to avoid talking about the people I've lost.
 
When we escaped the ship leaving many to die, my thoughts were on the people I loved.
 
It was like leaving them to die again.
 
At least I know whatever punishment I recieve, it's deserved. But damn if I won't burn down every evil I find as I go.
 
Maybe make the universe better for someone else who deserves it.