Gaius's Great Guide to Spellcasting (Rough)

I reserve the right to say 'O tempora O mores' instead of actually knowing the verbal component
 
CANTRIPS:
Minor Illusion: Take out fleece and rub it.
Prestidigitation: My wrist flicks, chanting the word baza
Fire Bolt: Hit wrists together, fire swirls around the hands say 'Parva Ignis' to release the spell
Mind Sliver: "BRUH"
Create Bonfire: Hands rise into the air, chant ''Platia Fotia"
Mage Hand: Innate, nothing needed
Spare the Dying: Touch the person and rub their face. Say ''Non Hodie"
Light: Smash the corpse of a firefly and rub its body into the object and say "stin archi"
Toll the Dead: Point at the creature. say "Sussus Amogus". The bells that appear play the drip song
 
LEVEL 1:
Gift of Alacrity: Touch and hold the shoulder of the target for the full minute casting. Say "Just let it happen".
Find Familiar: Handled by the item
Magic Missile: Both hands raise parallel to the body say "pyravlos"
Shield: Throw hands up in defense "Ah Shit!"
Alarm: I meticulously run the parameter of the area in the spell. I place the wire on the ground and stomp it in all the while chanting "Bless this mess"
Catapult: One arm is at the side and raises perpendicular to the body. Although I always say yeet, it is not required
Hideous Laughter: I say a hilarious meme (probably a funny number) while holding my hand to my stomach and pointing at the creature
Silent Image: Take out fleece and rub it. Chant "Afrato"
Detect Magic: I take my fingers and widen my eyes and yell "RACHEL"
Cure Wounds: I touch the creature and say "Eish, Adhik, Haba"
Heroism: I slap someone on the back, "lilah"
Sanctuary: I raise a mirror to the face of the person "allah yahmini"
Feather fall: Both hands shoot up to the side I yell "fuck fuck fuck"
 
LEVEL 2:
Fortune's Favor: I take the pearl and center it in my head. I smack the back of someone's head while saying "I like ya cut G"
Invisibility: I pluck an eyelash from myself and encase it in gum arabic. I say 'call me a real G'
Mirror Image: I raise my hands to the side of my head and move my wrists so that they are perpendicular to me head. I move my shoulders back and forth while going "oohooo...Ahhhaha-"
Web: mash my hands in spider web and make a jerking off motion and say "Crepito Magnus"
Misty step: "nope"
 
LEVEL 3:
Fly: I form a circle with fingers and pass a feather through the hole. 'mollibus extulit '
Fireball: I rub the bat shit in my hands and sparks fly from my fingers. I open my hand'Bigus Ignus'
Counterspell: 'big nope'
Dispell Magic: Wiggle finger 'oh no no no' or 'naht in my house'
Hypnotic Pattern: I crack a stick like a glowstick and a bright light swirls out into the sky. 'obliviscatur multis'
Enemies abound: I put my finger up to my mouth and say 'Imposter Among us'
Slow: I let a drop of maple syrup fall to the ground and say 'on guard for thee'
Haste: I snap a piece of licorice root and say 'beating hearts rise for thee'
 
LEVEL 4:
Wall of Fire:
Banishment: I smash a spider in my palm with my other hand in the form a fist and say 'begone thot'
Stoneskin: I take a diamond say 'I'm mining' and smash it into my chest
Polymorph: I pinch the cacoon between my fingers and say 'furrure'
Sickening Radiance: both arms raise at a 45 degree angle to my torso and I say 'falsa lux Dei'
Greater Invisibility: Grab onto the target in question and say 'real Gs'
 
Level 5:
Temporal Shunt: I put two fingers to my forehead and say 'ante'
Wall of Force: I blow some white powder that flows until it is stopped by the walls and say 'Terminus'
Scrying: I look into a mirror rubbing the sides while saying 'magnus frater'
Telekinesis: I twirl my fingers 'Tempus carcere est.'
 
Level 6:
Disintegrate: I take out a loadstone and sprinkle a bit of powder over it. I wipe my finger over the stone to point at the target. 'The hardest choices'
Globe of Invulnerability: I pull out and step on a glass bead. Its shards rise to form the globe. 'perfectly balanced'
 
Level 7:
Tether Essence: I take a bit of spool between both hands wrapped around my two pointer fingers. I point at the first target 'O Tempora!' I point at the second 'O Mores!'
Teleport: 'We Outtie'
Plane Shift: I tak eout the tuning fork and bonk it on the hardest object in my immediate area. 'fly you fools'
 
Level 8:
Reality Break: The prism lays flay on my hand such that light splits onto the target. I say 'O Tempora! O Mores!'