Fight

At Marion.
 
Why...
 
Why is this question the only thing I can think of? Why did I have to go through all of this? Why did Liyaria die? Why this? Why everyone? Why everything?
 
Why...
 
I cannot stop... Not now. But I've lost everything... Liyaria, Miyun, Evhai, Nerissa, Talion, Mazog. I have nothing. Not even me. I've died already... There, in hell... I never got out... That's where I am, even now. That's where everybody went because I led them there... Everybody is rotting in hell. And I didn't even realise that.
 
 
 
No. It can't be. This is no hell. It's worse than that. It's life, a mortal feeble life. A worthless life. Just like me, like everybody, like anything. Nothing matters. It never did... What matters is... Love matters. Love... matters... I had love, and did nothing with it. I don't want love anymore. Liyaria deserved love. They all deserved it. Everybody deserves it.
 
I will not let her corrupt my mind again! No! All she had shown me was hate, despair, revenge, disbelief. I always looked away. I ignored it. Everything that was of this word. I blinded myself with my own light. This time will be different. I believe it. I trust the Almighty will hear my prayer. The reason I trust Him is because I was born in this world... Because I was born to witness its horrors and sins. Because I was born able to choose which side I take. And now I am choosing.
 
Hear me, God, and bless me with your wrath and your ignorance. Take my light and toss me into the darkness. Trust me to find my own way back to you. I beg of You. Make me go through everything I went through again. Make my life on this earth a nightmare and look at me, judge me every step I make. I will not betray Your trust, again. I swear... not on my life, which I don't own, but on the love I have. Save the souls of those I love, and forget about mine... I will fight everything that's thrown at me, everything... Because if I don't fight, I am not living...
 
For Liyaria... For everybody...