The Obituary and Will of Hanz Vermisst

If this is being read it means that the world has lost a star but the heavens have gained one. I have no doubts that this moment weighs heavy on both those reading this document and the world that the illustrious Hanz Vermisst has died. Though it seems impossible that such a skillful and kind person without flaws would perish, remember that even the brightest flames can be snuffed out.
 
I will make no request for you to remember me. Given the many extraordinary feats in my lifetime, I am sure that the world will not forget me. Though it may be hard to recollect all of my accomplishments, so I have listed them here:

invented a musical style resembling slowed down tunes from a bygone era, coined Mistwave by fans and critics

Slayed a green dragon basically by himself, and slayed another dragon entirely using his charm

Bringer of education and average IQ to the orcish tribes of the Sword Mountains

Performed Godly duties to the church of Lathander and civic duties for Waterdeep

Toured across the Sword Coast

Master of the Magical Alzheimer Arts

Generous patron and procurer of fine artifacts

I ask that I am buried in Loudwater and that special precautions are taken so that lesser necromancers cannot reanimate me. It is possible that given my heroic tendencies that my body cannot be recovered. In this case, I ask that a vigil be built for my wondrous deeds. This grand vigil should be in Waterdeep or Loudwater. Although historians may want my possessions to keep in museums, I ask that some be set aside for those close to me. Specifically, I ask that my lute and flute be given to Direni Oakensong, as well as the necklace that she gave to me. I ask that I am buried with my hand, though some effort should be made to reimburse Brolmol Trollrock, as it is some of his finest work. The Bells of Pog and Dog should be kept by the party or anonymously donated to the Hall of Wonders in Baldur's Gate. Make sure it is anonymous, I want my humble and selfless generosity to persist in death. My mundane items should be given to my next of kin (no bastards), or my mother if none are present. Likewise a large sum of my gold should be distributed in this way, though if I am adventuring it is acceptable that the party can take some to pay for expenses incurred. Though if I died, I am sure many of them did too. It may be hard to repay the gift of my presence with gold to those few survivors, but it is the least that I can do.
 
Yes, my life was not easy. I climbed my way from poverty to being the greatest (though not recognized) bards in all of Faerun. Though I simply played a lute for a living and was missing a hand, I never held back. This is my true legacy as Hanz Vermisst, The No Holds Bard.