Dear diary, I wantz some new armour! The dwarf, Gecko, told me about a shop. An Ork brutha sold me some 4 armed armour! ...and a lot more goodies... Darla... My love... I will crush all your enemies! Then we went to da beach

I SEE ALL OF THE COLOURS ...my armour... MY ARMOUR... WHERE IS MY ARMOUR...? It's in all of these colours... Pinchy...? Is that you? The fog clears, a doctor needs us, ITS CLOBBERIN' TIME Loot: Greatsword, dirty weapon +1d4, crit fail gives damage to user Armour mod adrenal insert: Sprint as an additional action, 3 turn cooldown

Dear Diary, This cave makes my head hurt, but worth it for da lootz. We found an 'ittle bitch dragon, which we slaughtered. Then moma came out to play. Moma hit pretty hard.., Really hard... She knocked me bollocks off. The tiny gnome put them back in though. The dragon then ran away and i elf came and gave me a tiny metal bracelet. Now I can Read all da thoughts! We then decided to vaporize some ERF batty boys in the temple. Although... they were to strong for Max so we left with a few trinkets.

I bought some BIG GUNZ! Gork 'n' Mork would be proud! We went to da dezzert to kill some stuff. I shoulda probably listened to the job description. I got a bit too excited, what with all da new gunz. Speakin' of excited... I adopted a giant, killer scorpion! and used it to kill a BIGGER scorpion. Then there was a shit tonne of juicy, juicy gold!

Dear Diary, I arrived at da base. We played Cricket and I won. Met Tin. She throws like sissy. Then big titty mech woman appeared. Dis one is angel. I feel bad that I stole her bacon. We did have a 'ittle competition though. Max's drivin' meant we lost the race, but did well in da shootin'. We had a dance off. I dont usually shake ma booty, but I like these guys and it went well. I called ma meat guy and got him to bring over a boar. Was nice to chat with these guys. Then we had some fights. Scarlet is a good fighter!

My AC is broken. Please help!! Will work for AC!

Dear Diary, Met da new group. Crab person iz cool. I likz Bob. One of da meat-sacks asked if Betty has stun setting HAHAHAHAHA. Betty does not know stun. Betty only know how to pasteurise. Also, some science woman fired a toothpick at me and another flesh bag became of doggy. These people seem to talk an awful lot. Too much talkin', not enough face smashin' Dis wolf lady seems cool. We bonded over a shared meal. 5* Establishment. She turned charred, blood paste into healing charred, blood paste. I have adopted the dog. Met scarlet witch. Said her name waz Scarlet Witch. Helpful dis one. Also, why they also shitz themselvez before I turn them to paste? We walk around some caves, which woz borin'. Then we met dis big bastard alien fuck. Woz FUNNNNNNNN. Little pussy bitch hole HAHAHA Speaking of little pussy bitch hole. Max's leg is little pussy bitch hole. His leg became stump and cock became girl cock. The real woman used blood to rip apart big alien. I think i've found a soulmate. But now leg is in pain. Good day.

What's on Desmond's mind? SLAUGHTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR