Huddled up against the fire, the rhythmic drumming of the heavy rain in my ears but still sleep eludes me. My thoughts continue to drift to the events of the past afternoon. AGAIN i stood there AGAIN i did nothing... not even that i encouraged it going along with Enlanas plan sacrificing the innocent for my and my peoples gains. It seems nothing has changed how. HOW DOES BILL DO IT. Selflessly and no thought to others nor the bigger picture he throws himself in harms way to save the innocents life. I must follow his lead and change my perspective. A gush of rain drizzles into the fire dampening its glow for a heartbeat and there i saw them yet again hovering just beyond my sight the heavy eyes of Kovir and the men in his platoon. Unforgiving and Judging and my masters words echo in my mind "They are dead and enjoying the afterlife or suffering their just punishment, it is not them who judge but you. At one point you have to forgive yourself". The words i have clung to repeating like a mantra in my mind like a lifeline to keep myself going. Damn Sekiro i had found my calling, i was making amends and helping the people as best i could not through violence but through honest work. I turn around facing the fire trying to ignore the piercing gazes of guild piercing me into the back and fall into an uneasy sleep. I constantly relive my vision in the snow during my sleep and every time i feel this burning sensation when i turn to those in need. That time was the only time it was different i did not choose them out of guilt but simply out of my desire to help them, this... This is the feeling i need to capture, embrace and finally EMBODY. (And finally i did not feel their gaze for the remainder of the night)