How to confuse heroes.

General Summary

“So, Phil, can I call you Phil? Phil, why are we out here? Last I recall, we were going to an actual city!” Rafealle shifts her legs so she is riding sidesaddle while looking at Philine. “Stick with Philine. And would you like the short or long answer to that one?” Philine says, staring straight ahead. “Whichever one that doesn’t get you to shout again, please.” “Long version then, I can take some deep breaths before each sentence. Ok, look. Remember the artifact those Eagle tools were stealing? We brought that to Potavoli so my owners could hide it away. Before we left Ravenna…” “WAIT! When did that happen?!” “…Four days ago. You got tied to a saddle. Look, do you want to know what’s going on or not?” “Fine, fine.” “Alright then. We get to Potavoli, hide the artifact, got told to track down some useless middle man who was trying to buy the artifact some time ago and figure out who he was doing it for. The others wrangled a meeting with him, pretended to want to be clients and buy the artifact… I think… I admit that I was getting too irritated with that son of a scum sucking quartermaster Gianozzo to really pay attention. When he hares off to talk to the original client, the slick one over there, Bal… I mean, Count…” Philine bites the inside of her cheek for a moment, then grumbles: “The slick one.” and nods towards the rougish fellow riding ahead of them “He followed them to an inn, tried overhearing their chat, and then for some reason didn’t come get us so we could kick down the door. Something about diplomacy from Blue-eyes and Calen.” Philine shrugs. “Anyway, we go back, and the little shit wants to cut a deal. We get him an artifact from some crypt for the guy that wants to steal Malatestas FUCKING artifact and we get to meet that bastard that’s been TOSSING ROCKS in our fucking oil press since this whole STUPID, WASTEFUL GODSDAMNED MESS STARTED!” “PHIL! Stop shouting!”