Session 139

General Summary

• Before they leave, "Queen" returns the bronze hummingbird, using it to invite Kesmet to have a quick chat.
• She tried to enlist his help in killing Jack, since he's the only one who she thinks has shown any desire to do so, but he turned her down.
• Travel to and through Hythe was mostly uneventful, and then they stopped at a pop-up trade hub around an old watchtower as the seasonal ashfall started.
• The center of attention here was Sir Edwinton Beansly doing his thing again, offering his monogrammed magical items in exchange for others of equal rarity.
• This time, the Far Gear — the very piece of the Orrery of the Wanderer that they had just given Jack — was among Beansly's goods. Marvin sweet-talked Beansly to give it to the party for free by claiming they had just dropped it.
• Continuing towards a small town, the party ran into a small halfling girl and a dog, both trapped in a sinkhole surrounded by chunks of meat oozing red liquid.
• The girl, Helen, says that she had broken off from the others to rescue the dog, since he seemed sick.
• Marvin rescued the pair, and he recognized the dog: it's the very dog that he had named "Barf".
• True to his name, Barf had been coughing up chunks of meat, and after Theran tried to heal him, he coughed up one that looked like a human heart, which grew in size and began to leak a few other large meat chunks in the shape of worms.

Full Recap

Dazki checks in with "Queen" before starting out. Li'l Joker has dozed off, but "Queen" has not. He expresses that he wishes for her to have the opportunity to choose a better life for herself, and that he looks forward to seeing who she is after they return.   "Queen" responds dismissively, mostly just curious why Dazki seems to "have so many people's problems". He explains that it's because of his upbringing, which she responds to by suggesting that he change his name as well.   They prepare to leave, when the bronze hummingbird seeks out Kesmet specifically, sent by "Queen", asking to meet with him. He excuses himself to find her.  

Jacking Up the Stakes

Kesmet: You summoned me, "your highness"?   "Queen": Thanks for the bullcrap, but you and me both have an inkling of why I wanted to speak with you. ...at least, I hope so. ...you know what, that's probably not true...   Kesmet: Yeah, I have no idea why you'd want to talk to me. Do you need something blown up?   "Queen": You are the only person here who I think — to some extent — is interested in solving problems. You do like solving problems, right?   Kesmet:

  "Queen": Yes, I've never seen you leave something problematic alone.   Kesmet: ...thank you, I think?   "Queen": I've had the evening to think and reflect. And if I am to truly be free — to be who I want to be — well, one thing I know I don't want to be is prey to a man's vengeful game.   Kesmet: Eh, we're square. I took my revenge on my dude already. We're fine. I think.   "Queen": I'm willing to make a deal.   Kesmet: Ehhhhh... I dunno. Those, I feel, don't really work out very well for our little group of misfits. Every time somebody tries to make a deal with us, it's like, "ha-HA!" and then they want more.   "Queen": That seems fairly accurate, actually, given your past encounters. So, you're completely satisfied? The hollowness within you is filled? You want for nothing, then?   Kesmet: I mean, I'm a little bit hungry. I saw Dwardazik making some bagels... but...   Kesmet: More-or-less. It's like, 75% of the way there. Losing Grogery just kind-of, you know, made it so it doesn't go all the way.   "Queen": I believe you would understand the most what I'm going through. At least, this second, wilder anger within me.   Kesmet: Is it the flame of revenge? Because I understand that very well.   "Queen": A poetic term for it. I'd like to consider it a good defense, but a better offense. A preventative measure. You guys will leave this town here in his grasp, but he's never satisfied. And there are people here who I care about, and people here who at least your comrades care about. Is there not anything you could do?   Kesmet: About what? I'm very confused!   Kesmet: And hungry! Seriously, the bagels looked pretty good!   Kesmet: Miss "Queen", what do you want?!   "Queen": I need Jack to finally listen. To understand that we are not pawns in his game, but people... with dangerous opinions.   Kesmet: OK. I mostly shoot fire and do illusions, um... I think I have a voice amplification cantrip?   "Queen": Just think about it, would you? I still have many connections, and Jack has had a lot of negative things to say about you.   Kesmet: Fuck him too. Last time he was here, he was saying I was part of The Hounds Guild, came in here being all antagonistic.   "Queen": You will always be hunted as long as there is Jack.   Kesmet: Well, hey now, let's talk about this.   "Queen": I don't like it either, I'm on the same side as you.   Kesmet: I mean, I know he's an ass, but what's this about "hunting"? I don't like being hunted. I was hunted by Dennis for a while. And then I hunted him. Then there was, like, a mutual hunt thing going on.   "Queen": Well, he did give you an ultimatum, and it seems like you may have inadvertently chosen a side.   Kesmet: I'll be very honest, I'm gonna have to take your word on that. He was very cryptic. I'm sure you know the type. And I really didn't understand where he was coming or going from. I thought he was shaking us down for, like, money or for, like, the piece of that fuckin' doomsday device. And then he insulted me, I... I really didn't get what his whole deal was.   "Queen": He wants power. Control. All the classic, generic tropes of any despicable person.   Kesmet: Fantastic. What does that have to do with me?   "Queen": OK. I thought you were adequate at seeking revenge, and that you were my only ally in that regard, it seemed during the discussion.   Kesmet: Like, is Jack coming for me? Do I have to hunt him now? What is going on? He was very unclear about things. And this is not clearing things up any further.   "Queen": OK. OK, fine. I'll lay it down as simply as I can.   Kesmet: You have no idea how grateful I am for that.   "Queen": Jack does not like you.   Kesmet: Not really news to me, but go on.   "Queen": It would be wise for you not to like Jack.   Kesmet: I don't. He's an asshole.   "Queen": So, what are you going to do about it?   Kesmet: I mean, I'm gonna try to stay away from him. I don't want to get involved with him. If he comes by, I'll defend myself if he tries to shoot me or something with his weird gun. (Although, last time, he wasn't even aiming at me. He was, like, aiming at Dazki's dad and doesn't even realize his mistake. Hehehe.)   "Queen": I guess I'm still used to the old ways somewhat... no deal, then?   Kesmet: No, I don't like deals. I'm not making any more deals with Jack. I don't think I've made any deals with him at all, but he thinks that, somehow, we did. I'm just gonna watch out for him.   "Queen": Usually, this would be the part where I force the issue and convince you into a deal you don't want to be in, but apparently, friends don't do that.   Kesmet: I'm still very confused what the deal was about?   "Queen": Fine. Just take it as a warning, then.   Kesmet: To watch out for Jack? Can do! Sure! Thank you very much!   "Queen": To watch out for Jack with... aggressive fervor.   Kesmet: I'll be aggressive as I can be...   Kesmet: Once I get some bagels. Aggression doesn't work on an empty stomach.   "Queen": Well, I won't keep you waiting, then.   Kesmet: All righty. You enjoy, uh, looking at... the city wall. It's a... fantastic view. (Deception 11)

He leaves and regroups with the rest. Dazki asks what she wanted.

Kesmet: Oh. I was really hungry when she was talking to me. It was something about Jack. I think she was warning me to watch out for him with... hungry fervor? Or I might have just been hungry. But it was something about Jack. She was saying to watch out, and then that she won't make a deal with me. I'm not quite sure if she made a deal with me?   Dazki, stifling a laugh: Um, if she said she didn't, then no, but... I can take an educated guess, and I'm glad that you did not agree.   Kesmet: If I did, I'm very sorry! I didn't even know what the deal was, she was talking about. Something about Jack, and he's, like, a bad dude or something? But we already knew that...   Dazki: Yeah, if I had to guess, I would say she wanted to point you at Jack like you were pointed at Dennis.   Kesmet: I mean, I doubt I'll ever go as hard at anyone as I did at Dennis, but if you think that's what she was up to...   Dazki: That would be my guess.

They make final final preparations, load up their carriage, and leave down the road. There's a brief discussion along the way: Dwardazik is gathering various ingredients and supplies for making food, which confuses Theran since a single first-level Goodberry spell per day can more than keep the party fed. Dwardazik initially on making sure that Theran doesn't use too much of his magic, but Theran doesn't seem concerned, and the other party members take Theran's side, so Dwardazik drops the issue.   Theran spends enough time focusing on The Book of the Mirage along the road that he's able to unravel the meaning of the second chapter.   They stop off for the night at Hythe. Dwardazik stops off at a bar to try to get more insight into the rush of people heading down south. (Charisma 13) he doesn't really get anything particularly new or relevant, just some gossip about what the folks the other side of the river are up to ("Can you believe that they weave their baskets counter-clockwise?!"), and they move on.   A few days pass, and then as the morning sun begins to rise again, it begins to... snow? Well, it looks like snow, but it is not. Marvin explains: it's the dry season, and there's a volcano, so this is just ash. Locals often hold festivals to celebrate it, as it brings much-needed nutrients back to the savanna — and the cloudier weather cuts the heat down a bit.

Rub-A-Dub-Dub, A Trade Hub Hubbub

  Going through his wares, the party quickly spots something almost impossibly curious on offer: the Far Gear from the Orrery of the Wanderer, which they had previously returned to Jack. Beansly leaves an opening in a conversation that Marvin (Deception 17) exploits, convincing him that he had dropped it while he was browsing earlier, allowing him to take the Far Gear at no cost and puts it into the Bag of Holding.   They spend some time trading with Beansly. Theran finds a "Scroll of Detect Wounds" from Wendi Hammerfall's older experiments, which (Persuasion 29) he bundles in — with a story about perseverance attached to it — with one of Marvin's items to trade up a tier level, but otherwise, it's pretty straightforward experience.   They settle down for the night in the area. Overnight, those on watch notice that some bandits have nicked some things from a nearby campsite (not Beansly's, he's got a massive elephant protecting his). Theran Wild Shapes into a field mouse to check it out. The bandits greedily stumble into the tent of someone that they probably shouldn't have messed with; he makes some sound to reset their focus, and they run away after see the man notice them. Theran leaves and lets that situation sort itself out.

What's Worse Than Finding A Worm In Your Apple?

They pack up and leave the next morning. They spot a small town in the distance, which they intend to try to reach the next day by hustling a little, but they slow down upon noticing an unusual scene along the way. First, the smell of (probably) blood. Getting closer, they see small hunks of meat oozing red liquid.   Theran scouts further, transformed into a vulture. The meat chunks are unidentifiable, but they surround a giant sinkhole. Inside that sinkhole are a small girl and a small dog. (Medicine 30) with utmost certainty, Theran cannot identify the source of the meat chunks. The girl calls out for help, warning that the dog is very sick. He flies back to the party and lets them know what had happened.   The party cautiously agree to help the girl and the dog, but they're concerned about traps. They go in carefully. The girl, a halfling, says that she had gone down there to try to save the dog, and that she "doesn't know where Pappy is". She insists that the party save the dog first ("he's the one who needs all the help!").   Marvin flies down, rescues both of them, and flies them back up. The dog — definitely "Barf" — hacks up some more chunks of meat. It's a lot more than what should fit within a dog of that size. The girl's name is Helen.

Helen: We were out getting, like, the aloe vera and the stuff for the festival, because... 'cause we're... 'cause we like to go to the festival.   Marvin: Yeah, a festival sounds real nice.   Helen: And, and I, I wandered off to save the puppy. I don't know where Pappy is anymore, but he said we can't have a dog.   Marvin: That's too bad... but Barf here doesn't need to look like a dog! No, he doesn't! He can look like whatever he wants!   Kesmet: Hold on, hold on, "Pappy"? Is there someone else out here?   Marvin: Yeah, when did you get separated from your Pappy?   Helen: I don't know... three?   Theran: Three? Three... o'clock? Three... hours ago? Three... days ago?

Dwardazik grabs some of the meat. It's still warm and fresh, very slimy. As he grabs some, a large leech-like worm creature falls out of it before slithering back into the larger hunk.

Kesmet: I think we should... not be standing in the middle of all these meat chunks.   Helen: I think... I think we need to save the puppy, so I can have a puppy!

Theran checks on "Barf". (Medicine 20) First of all, it's definitely incredibly ill with something — it shakes, it's malnourished, it just threw up WAY too much meat — it probably has some sort of parasite. He tries to use Ultimate Sneeze-Stopper to cure it, and Dwardazik takes a position to hold it down in case something happens. This causes Barf to shake even more uncontrollably, and he coughs — some red ooze starts to come out of him. He then coughs up a different large chunk of meat, still pulsating and leaking. Shaped an awful lot like a human heart. It rolls and falls into the pit, and it lands with a splash. (There was not water down there before.)   The heart grows and pulsates larger and larger, and blood begins to ooze out of it. The pit begins to fill with this red blood-like material as it grows and quivers.

Dazki: ...right! OK, let's get back to the carriage. Very quickly.   Dwardazik: ...right! OK.

Some worms crawl out of the large vessels of the now-gigantic heart. There's going to be combat.