Session 141

General Summary

• Dazki proposed that the party should try to intentionally — but not obviously — lose the festival games, so that they don't keep the crown by the end.
• Some party members didn't want to intentionally lose, but they were fine with competing in events that they wouldn't excel at.
• Marvin really wanted to do the storytelling contest, though.
• Despite less-than-optimal assignments of party members to most games, the party still won nearly every contest handily.
• Dwardazik and Dazki won the dance competition, even though they actually tied another family's score in points.
• Kesmet won the pie-eating contest outright, though he had made an extra risky play when he could have also ended it in a tie.
• Marvin, of course, dominated the storytelling contest — he had wanted to use this opportunity to spread anti-government propaganda.
• Dwardazik barely lost the lizard racing contest with some help from Theran, but it's strongly suspected that the winner might have been using Ranger abilities.
• During the games, Dazki had a chat with Belle Ringslayer after noticing that she had snuck off to scheme behind the mayor's house.
• Belle had a hand in designing the rules of the games, rigging them so that whoever starts with the crown is almost always going to wind up keeping it.
• She claims to want the crown so that it can help make "the voices" go away, and this festival has been the one day of the year when she gets some relief — not to mention that the evening of free food and drink is very helpful for her very large family.
• She also has an invisible imp familiar following her around, and her behavior seems to suggest that she may have struck a bad deal a long time ago.
• Dazki regrouped with the rest, who were mostly getting super drunk, and he shared a letter with the rest of the party that he plans to burn at the effigy.
• He also convinced a drunk Kesmet to let him give the speech at the end of the celebration.
• Dazki's speech gave thanks to the community for accepting complete strangers into their event, and he invited members from all the other families to share in the final celebration.
• Kesmet lit the effigy using a simple cantrip, and he used the crown to embolden the flame. Then he cackled and demanded that everyone "kneel before Sonta'ar".

Full Recap

Dazki has the party grab some of the free food and drink so they can sit down and discuss how they should approach this festival:

Dazki: So, we're going to throw these games, right?   Theran: ...why would we?   Kesmet: Huh? I don't wanna...   Dazki: Well, Dwardazik is concerned that there's something wrong with the crown, —   Kesmet: There's nothing wrong with the dang crown!   Dwardazik: I might be overreacting, but I dunno. I'm just gonna be a little cautious here, all right?   Dazki: Look. If he's right, then great — but even if he's not, then what do we lose by not performing our best at a few games? "Oh no, some townsfolk beat us at a pie-eating contest! How will our damaged honor ever survive?" Instead, we give them a story about how they managed to beat this group of powerful adventurers, and there's a story for the town to tell for years on end!   Kesmet: Counterpoint. Counterpoint! It's likely that they'll catch on that we're throwing it and then be very insulted, and that'll dampen the whole festival.   Kesmet: Until, of course, the giant worm attack! ...sorry, was that out loud?   Dazki: No, I just mean have the people who are not good at an event go and participate in that event. You know, so it's easier for them to win. I'm not saying, you know, "go to a pie-eating contest, and then just sit there and don't eat the pie" or to eat exceptionally slowly or something.   Dwardazik: So, you're suggesting I don't go to a drinking contest one? (He drinks from his flask.)   Theran: So, another counterpoint here. That one lady who burst into the room after Dwardazik punched the guy — the way she talked, it sounded like her family has been winning these contests for years on end. They don't really need a story glorifying their name anymore. I think if we are going to try to throw the games, it would be more interesting to help an underdog win.   Dazki: I'm just saying, sure, we can compete, I just don't feel the need to go all-out and try to stomp their faces in it. And I was trying to trust Dwardazik's instinct that maybe there's something wrong with the crown.   Dwardazik: I kind-of agree. We should just take it easy. Participate a little bit, but probably shouldn't go too hard or get too carried away. But, you know, that doesn't mean we can't relax! We've been on the road for several days, and, well, ... ...you know how it is.   Theran: I took a look at the crown, and it seemed fine to me.   Kesmet: I wanna light the thing!   Dwardazik: Why don't you guys go and have some fun, and I'll just kinda stand by and make sure everything's OK. Just because I don't want to get too involved doesn't mean you guys can't.   Dazki: Look, Dwardazik, you're part of this group — part of what I assume they'd consider this "family". So, come on, at least try to have a little bit of fun with us, eh?   Dwardazik: Aww, all right. I can't do a drinking contest, so what can I do?

They look through the list of festival games that they can choose from, and they start to meet the other families throughout. One of the families has a dwarf, Hansel Gingerbeard. Hansel and Belle Ringslayer both challenge the party to some festival games. Dwardazik and Dazki decide to try the dance competition, and Kesmet and Theran decide to participate in the pie-eating contest.

• The Ringslayer family is very large; they send someone to participate in every event, and they seem to have even been practicing just for the occasion.
• Hansel hardly does anything, just getting drunk and falling asleep at the first event.
• Grubby Littlepaw is a weak-looking roguish/ranger-looking fellow, but his mastiff Tiny Tim competes alongside him to cover for his deficiencies.

Dancer

The Ringslayers lead off with a dance that is as compelling as it is well-rehearsed, whereas Dwardazik and Dazki are out of time with one another and can't manage to sync up.   The Ringslayers have an advantage, but they can't quite press it: as the faster round starts, basically trips and the other stops to visibly judge him. Dwardazik opens strongly for Dazki, but Dazki can't quite match him — even with a Bardic Inspiration that Marvin cheekily called out from the crowd. Everybody leaves this second round disappointed... everybody, that is, except for one random female halfling, who managed to slip Dwardazik a piece of paper with a lipstick mark on it.   In the slow dance round, each of the Ringslayers seems to do a respectable job in his own right, but the better dancer refuses to stoop down to the other's level, and they ultimately clash too much. Seeing an opportunity to tie it up, Dwardazik and Dazki strategize: Dwardazik would lead, but he would intentionally leave some extra room for Dazki to work his way in. This works out brilliantly: the two sync up perfectly, even through Dazki's less-than-stellar footwork.   The result of the contest was a tie, and ties are decided in favor of whoever currently holds the crown.  

Pie Are Squared? No, Pie Are Round!

As with the dance competition, the Ringslayers have two cousins here, including one who is very wide ("a square of a halfling!"). Littlepaw and Tiny Tim are here too.   Marvin gives out Bardic Inspirations to Theran and Kesmet. Before the competition starts, Kesmet proposes to use his magic spice box to add some very hot spices to the pies. (Persuasion 22) It's on, though he doesn't want to poison the dog, so he (Sleight of Hand 12) sneakily adds a different, more benign spice to the dog's. Theran does a Wild Shape into a bear for the contest.   In the first round, although Theran and Kesmet fall behind a little, the more stocky-looking of the Ringslayer cousins finishes his pie, then calmly stands up and runs away. Grubby Littlepaw also can't handle the first pie, and his dog Tiny Tim takes the extra time to eat his handler's pie as well.   Kesmet, seeing that only four competitors remain, finishes off the last of his magic spice box to spice up the second round of pies as well (including the dog's this time, since he can clearly handle it). The second Ringslayer also can't handle it and walks off. Theran, deciding to slow down a little bit this time, devours his next pie without any difficulties. Kesmet, also pacing himself, does just fine.   The final round — with just Theran, Kesmet, and the dog remaining — sees Theran and Tiny Tim neck-and-neck. Kesmet considers maybe just eating it at a normal speed to tie up the contest (which would be counted as win), but he wants to make a point, so he rushes himself and wins the competition outright. Proud of himself, he stands up and shouts, "Kneel before your king!".

Theran: Hey Kesmet, you might not have found religion, but you're sure pretty pie-ous!

Dazki takes his time writing a big letter of his own regrets to put on the effigy, stopping every once in a while when the local children ask him about his magical items. He even lets some borrow his gun — which he completely disables before handing it to them, of course — and he tells them "age-appropriate" stories of the party's adventures when they get curious.

A Story for (and of) the Ages

Gingerbeard finally shows up to make good on his challenge. The pie-eating contest is over, so he will compete against Marvin, Kesmet, and Littlepaw + Tiny Tim. There was probably a Ringslayer in there too, we just didn't focus on them.   Gingerbeard takes the stage, introduces himself, and immediately falls asleep out of drunkenness.   For Marvin's tale, he tells the story of The Serpent War, particularly the end of the war that gave it its name. He makes sure to emphasize the parts that make the two Firelords — Scaldor and especially Hestia — look bad, as well as the aftermath and effects that it had on the tribes in the Sundered Swamp.   Littlepaw sets Tiny Tim on the stage and walks off. The dog barks precisely once. The crowd goes wild.   Kesmet takes the stage.

Kesmet: Come one, come all, and hear the grand tale of how your illustrious king defeated two mighty beasts and dethroned the incumbent, Belle Ringslayer's family, in a divine contest of gluttony! They thought they'd had me beat, they accepted the contest from the fire genasi to spice up the pies, but they couldn't handle the heat — so they got out of the kitchen! But the beasts cared not for spice, and they just inhaled the pies, one after the other!   Kesmet: And when all hope seemed lost, that is when the king knew that he had to come out on top. Both of the beasts had begin their final pie, and though he knew he had no chance, he knew he had to try. He slammed his fist down on the table, and in three mighty bites, he inhaled the pie before the other two had finished theirs. He stood up and declared himself the victor!   Kesmet: You may now cheer! (He takes a bow.)

Oddly enough, Kesmet's retelling of the spectacle that had taken place not fifteen minutes earlier was not engaging enough to overtake the dog's "story", though Marvin of course won handily.

The Fast and the Furry-less

Grubby Littlepaw himself — not Tiny Tim this time! — competes against Dwardazik, Theran, and a Ringslayer in a lizard race. Both Dwardazik and Grubby are adamant that they've developed special bonds with the lizards that they've selected, whereas Theran and the Ringslayer just pick whichever ones look all right.   Throughout the race, Grubby's lizard consistently goes at a perfectly steady pace, whereas Theran's just goes to sleep as the elf deceptively focuses all his energy into encouraging Dwardazik's lizard instead of his own. Despite Dwardazik having the extra help, Littlepaw's lizard still wins, and he quickly removes the lizard from the area before anyone can look too closely at it.   Dwardazik challenged Theran for letting his own lizard lose, and Theran responded by saying out loud the thing about letting "the little people" win — which, coming from an elf, was a bit of a faux pas in a village of halflings. Kesmet helped him talk his way out of it, and Marvin used it as an excuse to make another dig against the government ("In the eyes of the Firelords, they look down on us, they look down on everyone! For ALL the small people!").

Belle Tolls, Not for Thee

Dazki notices something small (but invisible) skulking around the mayor's house. He follows it silently around the back of the house, where he spots Belle Ringslayer scheming with three of her cousins.

Belle: ...I rigged this whole thing so that the crown person would always keep the crown — because I always start with the crown! — and then what does he do? Hands it to the first handsome man he meets?! We're gonna need to think of a different way to get this crown back. We're not gonna have to play by the rules, if the rules aren't in our favor!   Dazki, stepping out: You know, you could just play fair for once, too!   One of the cousins drops their half-empty cup of ale onto the ground.   Dazki: Sorry, didn't mean to startle anybody, I just heard something going on back here, and I just decided —   Belle: This is none of your business, outsider!   Dazki: Hey, hey! Look, it's just coincidence that we ended up here today. Why don't we all just enjoy the festival and maybe try not to regret what actions we might take here today. Maybe try not to have any guilt about it or any regrets for the next year. If you lose, that just means you get to come back next year as the underdogs, and you can win it all again!   Belle: Uh-huh. Sure. Right. When you guys aren't here. Why don't you just throw a few games and let us reclaim the throne?   Dazki just laughs hysterically.   Belle, confused: I have many a thing I can trade you for your incompetence?   Dazki: No-no, I'm laughing because we've actually been trying to do just that!   Belle: Oh, bullshit! I saw you out there! It was ingenious!   Dazki: No, no, I am an awful dancer. That was pure luck!   Belle: There is no luck in dancing. It's all skill!   Dazki: Luck, and maybe your two lackeys fighting amongst one another instead of trying to get along.   Belle: You don't understand what you're dealing with, here! This is almost a decade of tradition that you're messing with, with your fun little dance moves, and —   Dazki: A decade of tradition! That is quite a long time...   Belle: All the more reason why you need to make sure that the King falls. I need that crown. I deserve it!   Dazki: Why?   Belle: Because I'm better than them.   Dazki: Why?   Belle: He's just, like, a child now?!   Belle: What do you mean, "why"? I'm better. I deserve it.   Dazki: What have you done that makes you so much better?   Belle: It doesn't matter what I've done, it just matters what I am. Which is: better than everyone else.   Dazki: How? What makes you better?   Belle: You know what, this is dumb.   Dazki: Is it your attitude that makes you better?   Belle: My god, the elves and the goddamn philosophical questions...   Dazki: All I want is a straight answer. Convince me, and then maybe I'll help you.   Belle: "maybe you'll help me"...   Dazki: Well, if you don't want the crown, I'll walk away right now.   Belle: No, no, I'm sure we can come to some sort of a deal.   Dazki: You tell me why you think you're better and why you think you deserve it. And not this whole "I was born better" bullshit.   Belle: No, I wasn't "born" better, I just...   Dazki: ... ... ...you just...?   Belle, hesitating a little more: The crown, as you know, is super magical. It's a super-heirloom, and everybody loves you and gives you free things if you have it. And I need that, because... (She shoes away the others.) ...look, man. The crown, it kind of helps the voices go away.   (Insight 22) She does seem to be talking like an addict.   Dazki: What do you mean, "the voices"?   Belle: I dunno, man, maybe it doesn't matter, you know? Maybe this whole metaphorical "regret" thing doesn't actually remove any regrets.   Dazki: No, of course it doesn't just magically change how you feel.   Belle: But you know what does, at least for a bit? The briefest moments?   Dazki: You think that crown does for you, eh?   Kesmet, off in the distance:

  Dazki: You know what would feel even better? Appreciating the people who help you win. They stand by you, because they care about you, and they want to help you succeed. Take solace in them. They are the ones who are important, not the crown.   Belle: Well, that doesn't mean I can't have the crown and them...   Dazki: No, what it means is —   Belle: I would certainly appreciate them better if I had a more level mind.   Dazki: Tell me, what do the voices say? Do they tell you to do things?   Belle: It's just like this din. Sometimes it's difficult to hear over it. But why am I telling you? You're no doctor, you're just some crown-stealing thief!   Dazki: I'm not a doctor, but the other elf in our group has some medical knowledge, and if you tell me what it is, maybe I can figure out some kind of way to help? Or someone who does? You haven't been able to find answers here, maybe I can help you find some answers somewhere else?   Belle: No, I've tried to find answers. I've tried to burn my regrets. The only solace I get is this one day, and that dumbass mayor has decided that he prefers The Story™ over his own people.   Dazki: I think he prefers to say thank you to the people who saved his daughter's life.   Belle: No, he's just guilty.   Dazki: Guilty of what?   Belle: Oh, you haven't hung out with him, have you?   Dazki: I had a brief conversation with him...   Belle: The only reason why he likes this festival so much is because his ex-wife did. They got into a fight, she wandered off into the woods, he never got to say anything nice. And he regrets it. But I don't!   Dazki: What do you mean that you don't regret that a man lost his wife? That seems a bit coldhearted.   Belle: Are you saying I should feel regret?   Dazki: No, I'm saying you should comfort those in your community. You should empathize with them and help them try to become better as well.   Belle: Would be a lot easier if I had that crown.   Dazki: No. I know you think it would, but it really wouldn't.   Belle: You still don't understand.   Dazki: So. The crown. It blocks the voices for a day, is that it? And the voices are just some din, some noise?   Belle: It suppresses madness, for lack of a better term.   Dazki: And when did all of this madness start?   Belle: I don't know. I feel like it's been creeping in there a while.   (Turmoil 17) This doesn't seem to be a Turmoil-specific corruption, but it does definitely seem to be some sort of madness.   Dazki: I can't guarantee that we'll be able to get you the crown.   Belle: You'd have to lose a lot, in an incredibly brief period of time.   Dazki: I will go out there and try to lose, but I can't guarantee that the rest of my companions will... lose as elegantly as I will. And, regardless, I think you should go talk to the other elven gentleman among my traveling companions. He might be able to help with that. At least in identifying and figuring out... something.   Belle: You won't be able to win that crown back for me. I kind-of made the rules for this festival, and I kind-of rigged it so the person who starts with the crown really tends to keep it.   Dazki: All right, well, I have an idea that might work if I can convince my companions of it at the end of the day.   Belle: End of the day is close.   Dazki: Yep, and it relies on us continuing to keep the crown and then giving it away at the end. As a gesture of thanks and goodwill to the community that took us in for the day and showed us their generosity.   Belle: Well, I would grab what food and drink you can.   Dazki: All right. Thank you, and I'll speak with my friends. We'll see what we can do.   Dazki senses that the invisible creature is an imp, and that it's standing there awaiting something.   Dazki: Why don't you go on and enjoy the festival? I'm going to stand back here and try to figure something out real quick.

Dazki moves between Belle and the imp. She makes a move to go back, and the invisible imp tries to follow, but Dazki pulls out his sword and points it at the imp.

Dazki: Now, now! Where are you going? Let's have a chat. Stop following her around, I can see you. I'm not a fool.   Imp, hissing out towards Belle: Mistress! Is this guy a threat?   Belle snaps back around.   Dazki: Oh, sorry, didn't realize he was yours?   Belle: You will tell nobody about anything here!   Dazki: So! Uh...   Belle: No, no more talking! None of this happened.   Dazki: Just a question. What did you have to give up, in exchange for whatever power you were granted? I'm assuming you made some kind of a bargain?   Belle: Is this my penance for being able to leave quietly, then?   Dazki: What do you mean?   Belle: You think it's great to just hear the whims of others in your own head? I sacrificed greatly for my family, and you sit here and berate me for making sure that they do well.   Dazki: No, no, I berate you for cheating.   Belle: "Cheating"?   Dazki: Or "rigging the system", then.   Belle: Surely, you would do whatever you had to, in order to make sure your family was well-fed? And such a well-grown stock such as myself deserves to be well-fed.   Dazki: There we go again, "deserves". Got it. Look, I'm being honest when I'm saying that we did not intend to come here and cause problems for you. But it seems like you're causing a lot of problems for yourself, too.   Belle: Is that so? Well, my problems are my problem. And unless you wish to actually help me, I think we're done. And none of this happened.   Dazki: Is there any way that I can help you, which would not involve getting the crown?   Belle: Nope. Nope, that's what I want. Makes the voices go away.   Dazki: Right. OK. Well, no guarantees then, but we'll see.   Belle: I'll just have to take things into my own hand, then. I'm not used to not getting what I want.   Dazki: Please do not bring any violence. That's all I ask. I deal with it... way too much.   Belle: Violence?   Dazki: Yes, violence.   Belle: I'm unarmed.   Dazki: Magic is a thing. You don't have to have a sword to cast a spell. And seeing as you have control — or whatever you may call it — of your imp friend there, I'm not so foolish as to think that you are truly unarmed.   Belle: Uh-huh... well, you were very ready to draw a sword, yourself. So, maybe, you don't start anything?   Dazki: Fair enough. (He reaches out a hand towards her.) I will not start any violence.   (Insight 23) Belle is hesitant to strike a deal here, but she eventually does put her hand out to shake his.   Dazki: So, who did you strike a deal with before, that has caused this hesitation? Is there someone who came through here? A person you might have made a deal with who gave you access to powers?   Belle: Nothing like that. We have a deal, then?   Dazki: We have a deal. I will not start any violence.   Belle: Nor will I.   Dazki: All right. (He puts his sword away.) I will return to my friends then, and wish you luck. And I will keep your secrets.

Belle turns and walks away, and Dazki rejoins the others.

Ending on a High Note

As Dazki comes back, he sees Kesmet drunkenly throwing a Fire Bolt at a mug on Dwardazik's head. He hits it perfectly, which causes the children to go wild. Dazki explains that he was just off using the cellstone to tell Ashport what had happened just to the east. Apparently, Biz has already teleported people to the area to take care of it. Dazki asks Kesmet's permission to give a speech at the end, which he is fine with.   Dwardazik has the barkeep pull out a large bowl, which he fills to the brim using his Skin of Endless Ale and drinks the entire thing in one go. He gets into some drunken shenanigans before the rest of the party peels him away.   Dazki shares the contents of the letter that he intends to burn at the effigy with the rest of the party, whoever wants to read it.

Dwardazik, motioning to the letter: But, Dazki! You can reach me right now! You can touch me! What's the problem?   Dazki: Ah-... uh... a little bit different kind I'm talking about, there. We can talk about it in the morning, all right?   Dwardazik: Are you hurtin' for money?   Dazki: No, that's not what it is.   Dwardazik: ... OK...

Theran motions to his, which is entirely written in Druidic. He says he doesn't feel comfortable sharing most of it with the rest of the party just yet.

---

The effigy is on a stone slab platform, and the mayor and others are gathering around it — though others are staying with their carts to watch at a safe distance. The party gathers as well.

Dazki: Ladies and gentlemen of Sonta'ar's Workshop! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for inviting us to be a part of your festival. It's been incredibly heartwarming to be welcomed by such kind strangers. All of you are proof that there is good, and that there are true people left in the world. So I want to thank you on behalf of myself and my... my adopted family. In that, I would also like to invite one person from each of the competing families to share this with us, as you have made us feel like we are all one family here, with your kindness to strangers such as ourselves.   Grubby Littlepaw pats Tiny Tim on the head, and the dog goes up on stage. Gingerbeard is still incredibly unconscious... somewhere. Belle just stands there cross-armed, glaring daggers at Kesmet.   Dazki: Belle, come on! Join us, why don't you show us how it's done! I understand you have quite a bit of experience with this. Teach the new guys. Everybody, cheer for her!   She eventually acquiesces to the crowd's loving applause.   Dazki: OK, Kesmet, if you would be so kind?

Kesmet waves around some fire in his hand and tosses it onto the effigy, using the crown's power to amplify the flame.

Dazki: And, my new friends, we must be leaving in the morning. So, with that —

Kesmet cuts him off. He takes a deep breath and lets out a cackling laugh.

Kesmet: Oh, GOD it's been so long. I was starting to lose hope! (He laughs again.) Oh, everyone... ALL you peasants. Kneel before your King. Kneel before your savior.   Kesmet: KNEEL BEFORE SONTA'AR!