Felonius Questus's Diary by Jarhed | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Week 1

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Dear Diary,

It's been a crazy day. I went outside yesterday and found some guy in the streets trying to fight. I defended myself, but I accidentally killed him. Then I turn around, and Zephys is being invaded! I helped fight 'em off, and go to bed. That would be crazy enough, right?

Well, guess what? That wasn't just any guy in the street that I killed. That was the damn 58th Grand Wizard! This morning, people were outside the door calling me a hero and saying that I was Grand Wizard now. I tried to decline, and they said I wasn't allowed to.

But, Grand Wizard can't be that bad, right? Wrong. It's the worst job ever. I get into the office, and it turns out this piece of garbage predecessor of mine left me a whole mountain of paperwork. I don't know shit about politics, I was born in Ealla! I moved to Zephys to avoid inter-village politics, and now here I am. But it's fine. We're in this... Grand Wizard Struggle or whatever they call it. Surely I'll be assassinated sometime soon.

Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,

Felonius Questus

Dear Diary,

Today was worse. I kinda forgot that we had... y'know, students at the Magic College. I thought I'd get to just do this paperwork. Maybe that last guy wasn't lazy, just busy. I've spent all day helping a Gnome find her way to a candy store.

I lived in Lower Zephys, and I swore I knew where everything was. But this damn gnome shows up saying she needs help finding her way to a candy store I've never heard of, named "The Candy Horn."

We walked around Lower Zephys for hours. I even went to the damn Red Light District to find this place. I mean, largest city in the world, it's gotta be here somewhere.

Nope. No it doesn't. This Gnome lied to me.

But that's fine, right? I mean, I wanted this. Being led to a dark alley to be assassinated, right? This is perfect!

No... you know those Gnomes. They just want to pull pranks. I was left in the Red Light District... by a Gnome student... and I didn't even get killed. What a shitty day.

Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,

Felonius Questus

Dear Diary,

I've started to wonder whether I'll be able to keep up this system of a day at a time. I mean... I'm the damn Grand Wizard, and all this paperwork is stacking up. Last night, I fell asleep sitting on the windowsill helping a wind mage practice, and I woke up an hour later when I finally hit the pavement. Honestly hoped I'd just splatter, but apparently, someone softened my fall by turning the hard pavement into sand with Earth Magic.

Then I get back to my office, and I found... balloons. Everywhere. These damn wind mages... I can barely walk around in here. You see, I'm a Dragonborn. I'm tall. So balloons are... painful for me. I hit my head on them, they bounce around. When they're covering the ceiling, they bounce around and hit me on the head. I try and pop them, but the damn wind mage put a tornado spell in there. All my paperwork got tossed everywhere in the room. Spent the rest of the day picking it up.

I even lost my Day 3 entry... dammit! I think I'm going to just do a weekly entry from now on. Don't worry, this won't be going on for too much longer.

Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,

Felonius Questus

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