Cold

The world you live in is cold. Cold hands no matter how many clothes you layer on. Cold metal under your fingers as you lock the door to your home. Click. Cold wood and cold stares because everyone knows that no one has the money to buy what you have to offer. Cold. It seeps into your heart and closes you off to the world.
It stings, but you don’t really care anymore.
It’s true, there was warmth in your life as well. There still is, when you find the time to appreciate things (you rarely do). For example, there’s the sun and it’s warm rays, cast down to Earth despite every bad circumstance that exists. There’s pretty things like flowers, you suppose, but nowadays, none of them look great, even the ones that you pick and take care of yourself. Your harmonica’s nice, too, but when you aren’t playing it, the cold metal bangs against your chest and you’re reminded that things aren’t what they used to be.
You can remember warmer days if you try hard enough, days where you weren’t scared of anything. You remember warm hands and a warm heart, hands guiding yours to the earth below and digging into it. Dirt got caked under your fingernails and you both laughed.
You and them.
“Are you sure you wanna be doing this since it grosses you out so much, Lani?”
Their voice rang out in the silence. There was a valley to the west of Noarata where some plants grew. It was quiet there, though it wasn’t like Noarata was all that bustling, either. You could, however, feel the sadness in the air there, and it could make the pit in anyone’s stomach deepen. Thus, the valley was a nice respite. You were only 9 at the time, and they were 16, at least, that’s what you both thought. Neither of you owned calendars, and neither of you quite remembered the years you were born.
You’d always been quiet. You looked up at them with wide eyes and didn’t say anything. Your nose was scrunched up in disgust from the feeling of dirt under your nails. They looked back at you fondly and reached for the dirt in your hands, a small flower poking out of the top of the mound. It was in surprisingly good shape, albeit the poor soil around here. In that respect, it was kind of like you two.
They tilted their head to look at the plant from every angle, chewing the inside of their cheek and deep in thought. Their hair was short and black, coming down to their shoulders. You’d always admired the style, but liked having your hair long. It meant they could give you braids and things like that. Unlike you, they didn’t have freckles and their eyes were a soft shade of green. They wore a black and blue corduroy jacket, but rarely buttoned it up, revealing a plain white t-shirt underneath.
“I think this might be an Eglantine Rose!” they finally declared. “And in this condition… we might actually be able to make a sale!”
Your head shot up in awe. “Really?!?” Their knowledge about plants had always been incredible to you. You’d asked them how they knew so much at one point, but hardly got a response. Supposedly, they’d been taught by somebody else, but there was no one else in your lives.
You didn’t let it bug you. They beamed at you and used one hand to ruffle your hair, getting dirt in it and making you fake a whine that quickly turned into a giggle. “Yes, really! You did a real good job finding it - I definitely wouldn’t have seen it.”
They put it into one of your very few flower pots that was in the cart. Dirt cascaded down the side from one of the cracks in it, but neither of you seemed to notice or care. For a moment they stood, hands on their hips and deep in thought. Their eyes scanned the flowers you’d both picked that day, doing mental math in their head and muttering numbers under their breath.
“Yeah, that should do it. Ready to go home, sprout?” They asked, turning to look at you.
You took a minute to respond, getting to your feet slowly and pouting. “Yeah, but you gotta carry me, Nerez… My legs are too wobbly…”
They laughed in response, crouching so that you could get on their back. “C’mon up, then! The Nerez train is leaving the station, choo-choo!” With that sound effect, they mimed tooting a train horn.
You got on their back eagerly and put your arms around their neck to stay on. They shifted you on their shoulders to make themselves comfortable before grabbing a hold of the flower cart’s handles. They pushed it up the hills of the valley and made their way home, and they were warm.
-
You both lived in the same, tiny, RV for as long as you could remember. It was cramped and dust always seemed to get stuck in hard-to-reach places. There were holes in the ceiling that made it so that water dripped through when it was raining, and all the furniture you owned was old and creaky. But it was home. After setting the cart outside, Nerez unlocked the door with careful hands. They then walked in and turned on the lantern sitting on the table before setting you down on the bed. There was only one, and it was small. You watched with worry creasing your brow as they stretched their arms high over their head and took their jacket off, laying it on the back of a chair.
“Nerez…?” You finally spoke up, causing them to turn around.
“Mm? What is it?”
You stared into your lap and rubbed your thumb against your fingers. Your nails were still almost black from dirt, and your palms were a bit grainy from it as well. But that was life. You hardly noticed them take a couple paces towards you and crouch in front of you so they could make eye contact.
“People have been going missing, right?”
They’d always been good at hiding their emotions and keeping a happy face for you, but something in their eyes flickered before they went back to normal. They smiled at you softly. “They have, but I promise I’m going to keep you safe, okay? As long as you’re with me, you won’t disappear.”
“I’m not worried about me, though!” You exclaimed, finally tearing your gaze away from your lap. “Who’s gonna protect you?”
They looked at you with shock, then sadness. They didn’t say anything at all for several moments, as if processing what to say in this kind of situation. Finally, they spoke up.
“I promise I’ll be okay, alright, Lani? I won’t be going anywhere.”
You could feel the space behind your eyes heating up with tears, but you didn’t want to cry. Not now. “Promise…?”
Nerez smiled at you gently. “I promise. Now, let’s get ourselves to bed.”
They clambered into bed beside you, another spot of warmth. They pulled the ratty old blankets up to cover both of you completely, leaving you wrapped up in so much warmth. You felt at ease and, slowly, your eyes closed.
You were warm, once. But not anymore.