James Friday

Captain James Friday (a.k.a. The Ancient Mariner)

And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.

In the earlier days of the United Isles of America, after barely fending off the fleet of the Cartographer-Prince during the Monumental War, the Navy decided that it had had quite enough about all these nautical superstitions regarding the Pariah's Tides , and that it was time to put them to rest, once and for all, never mind all the frantic pleas of actual experienced mariners. They didn't know what was best for them. Thus, the plans for the creation of the UIS Friday were laid out, and the greatest naval tragedy in UIA history was set in motion.

An Inauspicious Expedition

She was named the UIS Friday, for it is considered the unluckiest day to set out on a naval journey. Her keel was laid on Friday, and she was launched on a Friday as well, with the bottle used to christen her purposefully missing. Her captain was a man by the name of Captain James Friday, who just so happened to be born on Friday the 13th. She had a thirteen man crew, all of whom were named Jonah, all of whom were flat-footed red-heads, and all of whom were hired on a Friday. On Friday the 13th they set sail, the sky was blood red, and rolling clouds and roaring waves were already coming in. The only food aboard the ship was bananas, and as they set off the entire crew, including the captain, were all instructed to whistle as loud as they could. As they did so, each man removed the hat from his head and tossed it unceremoniously into the water. On shore, their wives all wished them good luck, and waved goodbye, and the men responded by shaving off their beards, one by one.
The moment the last hair was sliced by the razor, a peal of thunder rang out, and the boat was swallowed by a storm like no other. It was something that, once seen, could never be forgotten. It was all the fury, the rage of a thunderstorm, except localized entirely upon a single ship, condensed into a span of no more than a couple of seconds. When it let up, as quickly as it had come, there was no sign that the UIS Friday had ever existed. The ship was considered lost, the crew all dead, and after a formal apology was delivered things returned to the way they were.

Life-in-Death

If only things were that simple. As it turns out, the UIS Friday was not simply destroyed, as believed by the public. Instead, it was merely transported to a more remote location, where it faced the judgment of the being known sometimes as King Neptune, or Poseidon, or Ammon, Thor, Māui, Nereus... the list goes on. The being that was the North Wind, known primarily by one name: The Old Man. Captain Friday and his crew had broken every rule, every restriction it had placed upon the people of the Pariah's Tides, stopping just short of actually killing an albatross . They were the worst criminals the Tides had seen in a thousand years. The Old Man observed, listing off their crimes in its head, until, at last, it settled on the deck. Then, against every expectation, it began to laugh. It laughed like no one, not god, beast, man or woman, had ever laughed before. It guffawed at the sheer audacity of what was, in its mind, the greatest practical joke it had ever seen.
Of course, at the end of the day, this was still a blatant infraction against the laws of the sea, and it could not go unpunished. However, the Old Man couldn't in good conscience allow this exquisite joke to go unrewarded. Thus, it decided upon the following course of action. It summarily executed twelve of the thirteen crew members, but it left Captain Friday alive. To him, it instead granted life. Eternal life, bound to the service of the Old Man, but with a single stipulation: he was filled with a terrible wanderlust, forbidden by his own mind to ever leave the Old Man's domain, for he could not set foot on shore without feeling the wrenching, painful urge to once again set out to sea. Instead, he was doomed to forever wander the waves upon his rotting husk of a ship.

The Eerie Epistler

He would not, however, be alone, for the Old Man gave to him twelve Winds as his servants, who filled the hollowed-out bodies of his slain crewmen. Neither would he be purposeless, as the Old Man gave to him a pen, ink, a sheaf of parchment, and a stack of envelopes. It bid the twelve Winds to each day roam the Pariah's Tides, to seek out those whose actions ran contrary to the laws and ideals of the Old Man, and report their names and crimes to Captain Friday. He would then write them a letter, writing a bit of his own wanderlust in between the words, hiding it within so that when read, they too would be seabound, where Captain Friday would be waiting to take them aboard, where they would serve a number of years upon the UIS Friday depending on the severity of their crimes, before being safely deposited upon the shores.
Through this, the Old Man found a way to combat the influx of new sailors, and thus new nautical crimes, as a result of prophet-sap becoming widespread across the Tides. Additionally, it provided a method of punishment for those whose crimes were not quite as terrible as to directly warrant the fury of the Old Man, but not so light as to only deserve some mild misfortune at sea, and instilled a new fear of defiance in mariners. The only thing worse than encountering the Friday and being forced to carry a crate of letters is finding one upon one's doorstep. Even better that those whose sentences are short return after some time, to tell tales of the horrors they encounter. Unexpectedly, the Old Man's choice to give Captain Friday a great amount of freedom, as long as he remains at sea has also resulted in not just fear of, but respect for nautical traditions, as the Captain is known to send his servants to aid those in need, so long as they follow the laws of the Tides, sometimes even arriving in person.

Current Location

The Pariah's Tides

Age

Impossibly old, despite the relative recentness of his disappearance

Current Residence

The UIS Friday

Pronouns

He/Him

Eyes

Bright, glittering, and weary.

Hair

Long and hoary

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

Pale, thin, wrinkled and blemished with age