Origin

I need to tell you a few things, and you need to understand. Well actually, you already do. This might get confusing, lets see how we go.

In a very big place, there is a hole. It's a pretty big hole, but in comparison to the place it’s minuscule. It's the only thing in this place, and there happens to be nothing outside the place either. In fact, the place and the hole are the only two things that exist.

This might seem a little strange to you now, but once it was all you knew and it still kind of is, sort of. You see, the hole isn't really just a hole - don't get me wrong, it's mostly just a hole - but there are also minerals, gasses, liquids, light and everything else within the hole. But still, it's mostly just a stupidly big hole. To really understand this hole though, you have to pay attention to all of its parts. The things going on within this hole are quite incredible. Did I mention that the hole is large? I'm pretty sure I did. Anyway.

Within the hole, there is actually also a rock, so really the hole is more of a shell. I'm sure you have a name for this, but when I was coming up with this you didn't exist and knowing what word you would use to describe it would have taken a lot of effort and explaining all this is quite exhausting as is, so to keep things simple let's call it the shell and occasionally the hole. I guess you're wondering who I am now, well, I guess you would probably be most comfortable with the idea that I am the place. I am also the hole and the rock. Oh, and I'm you too.

But let us not worry about that now, we really need to get back to the hole. You see, the hole is not only large, but it is very important. It has things within it that don't exist anywhere else. In fact, if you've been paying attention you have probably figured out that it has everything in it. Including you, and of course, me. Something is about to happen to the hole, I've known it was coming since I made the hole - Did I mention that I made the hole? Well whatever, you know now. I also remember it happening to the hole. Things can get pretty confusing around that subject though so we are just going to skip right over it.

The thing that is going to happen to the hole has to happen. But it's also going to mean that the rock within the hole is never quite the same, well, not until the end anyway - well the middle actually, but also the beg... sorry, skipping skipping skipping... You see, there are just too many things inside the shell (the hole surrounding the rock, remember?) There's not enough room for them all. And the pressure inside the hole is mounting. It's my own fault really, I need to know things, so I keep making things so that they could explain me to me. Small things, big things, solid things, smelly things, fleshy things, green things, brown things, rainbow things, more rocks and more holes - yes I know I know, but I needed them. Who are you to judge me? Well sure, you're me. But still.

So, the shell is about to go bang! Well actually it's already exploded and it also isn't about to explode and in some cases, it doesn't even exist but I said we were going to skip over that part so let's just pretend it's about to explode. When it does, you and everything you are is going to get um... smaller? But just for a while! Oh and you might get a bit scattered about. Don't worry, I promise you will come back together, eventually, probably. I'm pretty sure.

Right. You get smaller, you spread out a little, not much really, not in comparison to how much space there is in the place. But you're kind of important to the rock (the one inside the shell - maybe we should call that the core just so I don't have to keep saying rock. Yes, let’s call it the core. Fancy.) You, are important to the core, and so are they, I mean us, ugh. This is getting really awkward. By them I mean the rest of the things that are on the core. You see, the core and the shell are all really just the one thing, they don't really work properly otherwise.

You, you are the um... creative ones, I guess. You are the part of me that makes more stuff. "MORE STUFF?!" you say, "but I thought there was already too much stuff?!" Well, yes, there is but also, there isn't enough stuff. You see, for me to be me and know all the things I need to know to make the stuff that made you that also makes the core that allows the place to be more than just a place and me to be more than just a place and a hole with a rock in it I need more stuff. Follow?

I'm only just getting to know myself. But to get to know myself I had to know myself and that meant making stuff that could describe me to me. It might seem a bit messy but it’s just the way these things work. I don't make the rules. Well okay, I do, but I couldn't have made them any other way than I did. Can we get back to the explosion bit now? Good. Soooooo, after things explode they need to kind of, gather back together. I am pretty sure spinning will sort this out - no no no, stop asking questions, spinning. Spinning is absolutely the answer here - and once some of the things have done enough spinning they will be rocks again, mostly, most of them will be rocks, smaller rocks than the core, but still good rocks. Some of them will be hot rocks, some will be cold rocks. Some heavy rocks and others light rocks. Most importantly some will be just right for you. Some of them won't actually be rocks either by the way, they will be other stuff but you don't need to worry about them for now, they have their own things going on.

On the rocks that are just right for you, I need you to grow. Change, become more. I understand you are going to stumble, more can be pretty hard to do - I'd know - but I'm going to give you a hand. I'll do what I can to help your smaller parts remember being bigger parts and not just that but how things were when you were you. In the core I mean, the big rock, the one in the middle of all the mess that got made when its shell exploded. Now, I can't promise that you will remember everything, but you, and all the parts of you (and all the parts of the parts) should be able to piece things back together. Eventually.

To prevent the smaller parts of you from exploding with all that knowing and remembering (Did I mention the risk of explosion?) I came up with this really cool thing. The smaller parts of you, will remember things when they are turned off! Yes, I'm brilliant, I know, so are you! But that’s because you’re me! Anyway enough patting us on the back. The plan is this: when they are turned off they will remember things they know, I'm calling those "Dreams" and they will only remember wee tiny bits of those, but those bits will give them access to bits of knowing that they can do while they are turned on. I'm calling these "Ideas" - I know, we come up with the coolest names for things.

Now, there is one small problem. The small parts of you can't have all the dreams and ideas at once. And um... They can't be around forever. Oh, and also there won’t be many of them, to begin with. And they might have to evolve from something else. And occasionally they might almost wipe themselves out and have to start again. Aaaaand sometimes I might have to almost wipe them out. They will also be different colors, shapes, sizes, and all that sort of thing. I know this makes things a bit awkward. It might even make things seem impossible. But you really need to understand that it’s quite important that there is room for more things and different things so spreading them throughout the place is the only way this all works.

Things are coming together now! The little things that make you will have dreams and ideas and they will make more little things and tell them the dreams and ideas that have been turned into knowledge so they can then grow into big things that make even more little things until eventually one or two of the things knows enough of the knowledge to make a thing or do a thing or think a thing that reminds them of the core! And when that happens - this is where it gets really good, I'm so chuffed with us! - They will be able to help all the other things connect back to the core and the core can start having more things again!

Eventually there will be enough things in and on the core that know enough of the stuff that they can pull aaaaaaalll of the things that used to be the shell back together and remake the shell. Then I will know all that I need to know to be me and you and them and make this whole thing happen! I'll be able to make the core that has the shell that goes kaboom that becomes the things that swirl then turn into the rocks that grow the things that connect to the core to make the things that I need on the rock in the hole so that I know how to make the hole in the place and put you on the rock within it and everything will be great!

Right now, I think you might not know you're you, or even me. But you are and the explosion has already happened so you might think you're one of the little parts of you but that's O.K. you're just getting to know you, and that’s your job. I think you also know enough that you're ready to connect to the core and really get started helping you/me/us/them do things and know things and make things and stuff so we can get back to the rock in a hole in a place. Shall we?