Cranium (krɑ:nɪʊm)

Deep inside the great deserts of Mundus Vastus lies Perfugium, a small town of desert farmers and a common stopping place for pilgrims on their way to the sacred ruins of Harena. The people of Perfugium grow their own food in the form of a desert plant called avictus; however, they very much depend on the water shipped in from the fountains of Aerodreum, the homeland of men.
At the center of Perfugium stands Cranium, named after the skull of a pristis (giant flying whale-like creature, sacred animal), the corpse of which was discovered during the founding days of Perfugium. Cranium is the heart of the town: it serves as an apoteus (a place of distribution for the water), as a refuge for pilgrims and other sorts of wanderers, and – as a tavern.
A Brief and Hazy History.The tavern was (along with the town) founded about 100 years ago. Only one of the initial founders is alive to this day: Eloi the Eldest, who was six years old back then, and even his memories are very hazy. The commonly agreed upon story is as follows: the settlers from Aerodreum have found the skeleton of a pristis lying in the desert, and decided that the place was blessed by the sacred beast (as pristises usually feed, breed and die down in the legendary Umbra, which no man has ever seen), and thus it is a perfect place to settle. The skull of the beast was hanged inside the first building in Perfugium: Cranium, the heart and tavern of the town, which got its name after the skull.
A Place for Everything.Cranium is, just like most of Perfugium, made of sturdy sandstone, mined in the desert caves nearby (the mine is closed at this point, due to the lack of need of any more buildings), while the material of the furniture is mostly imberstis, a great underground plant, which has roots reaching down to below the desert (some say that the roots reach into the Umbra), from where it seems to gain its water supply. For men, imberstis is but a great building material. Its wood is sturdy and rough, but surprisingly light in both weight and colour.
Cranium has two floors. The ground floor is the tavern itself: here, one can buy food or drinks, rent a room, and eat, drink or gamble at one of the (currently) six tables. This is also where the skull of the pristis is displayed in one of the corners, hanged from the ceiling by three iron chains.
On the upper floor of Cranium there are five rooms for rent; two large and three smaller rooms. For a night, the large ones cost four cruminae, while the small ones cost only two. There is also a small observatory here: a little tower next to the building, to where one can only cross from the upper floor through a narrow hallway supported by sandstone pillars. The observatory itself is a tiny room with a glass ceiling, and with a small telescope. Anybody who stays in the inn for the night is free to enter the observatory, but the barkeep, Porfirio, usually lets children from the town in as well, unless an especially wealthy guest (such as a water merchant from Aerodreum) is using the telescope.
The air of Cranium is usually clearer than that of the desert, with only a little sand in it at all times. It is also surprisingly wet, thanks to the large amount of water held here.
What's on the Menu? Cranium offers a menu surprisingly diverse for a tavern - well - in the middle of a desert. Still, the variety of food and drink is very much limited by the rather thin flora and fauna of Mundus Vastus. What follows is a collection of the most basic (as well as the most interesting) entries of the menu.
Water. Regular water, sold for free in Cranium. The cook, Tertius, uses a yellow desert plant caled peregrina to preserve it a little longer, but even with that, it is only good for drinking for abut three days, after which it is turned into industrial water used to power steam engines.
Weed Beer. Weed beer is the only common form of alcohol in Mundus Vastus, although it has many variations. Its primary ingredient is a plant called mellis. It originates from Aerodreum and requires large amounts of water to sustain in the desert. In Cranium, it is made with peregrina and a little camel milk in addition to the mellis and the water. One mug costs three cruminae.
Avictus Salad. Salad made of avictus, an edible desert plant with large, flat leaves. The avictus is steamed to make it feel less dry. It tastes quite salty. It is also the best choice for travellers, as it remains edible for three to five days in the desert. Preferred choice of pilgrims and other wanderers. One dish costs 1 crumina and two dishes are usually enough for a full day for a grown human.
Tertius' Camel Cheese Speciality. The cook of Cranium, Tertius, claims that he is the only man in the world with the skill and knowledge to make this food. It is mainly made of camel cheese, with a special spice sprinkled on the top that Tertius is said to make using a couple different plants. But what really makes the dish special is a unique form of weed beer that is cooked into the cheese with extreme precision. One dish costs four cruminae.
"Cranium". Named after the tavern itself, this meal actually does contain a skull which the buyer can take home afterwards. The food itself is a cooked ardor (desert snake), which the skull belongs to, seasoned with peregrina. Ardors are venomous and difficult to catch, so this meal may be absent from the menu for a couple of days or even weeks every once in a while. One this costs five cruminae. Preferred choice of wealthy water or iron merchants.
The People of Cranium. The barkeep, Porfirio the Red, is a handsome, cunning man seemingly in his early thirties, with dark and hardened skin, piercing, blue eyes, and shiny, black hair (which is exeptionally rare among the people of Aerodreum, also known as phoebi). He is usually friendly, although he can be a little harsh to those who keep questioning him about his past. He is one of the few atheists in Perfugium, but people seem to like him even in spite of that. You can read more about him in the sidebar.
Tertius is the only chef in Cranium, and he is very proud of that. He is a short person (about 165 centimeters) but he always wears a large hat to compensate. He is about 35 years old and he claims to be one of the very best cooks in the world, although he rarely ever meets with any other chef. That said, his meals truly are excellent. Tertius is a somewhat distant figure for all but a few residents of Perfugium. The ones truly close to him would describe him as a funny and frantic person who thinks a little too much of himself. He is usually friendly with the guests, but if someone criticizes his food harshly, it can throw him into a rage. When that happens, he usually just screams and refuses to serve that person ever again until they apologize. He only started a fight once - the people of Perfugium still smile recalling that day.
Eliana is the only waiter in the tavern currently, since Estes, the other waiter, disappeared in the desert a month ago. Porfirio is already looking for a replacement, but for now, Tertius sometimes has to help Eliana out in the evenings. Eliana is mostly neutral towards customers, although she does develop a friendship with one of the more common guests every once in a while. She is said to be in her early twenties, although nobody remembers when exactly was she born. She is deeply religious, and even superstitious. She always keeps a holy stone with the symbol of Aqua on her person, and Porfirio has already given up trying to convince her to abandon her beliefs, which is something he very rarely does.
Ignacio is a custodian of sorts in Cranium. He is the one who does all the cleaning-up, and he also works as a bouncer, although scarcely is there any need to kick anybody out. Ignacio is always looking forward for those instances, as they are the only source of excitement in his rather mundane life. He is eighteen years old and is towering to about two meters in height. Greatly inspired by the story of Porfirio, who has become a mentor-like figure to him in the past year, he is planning to leave Perfugium for a while in a similar manner to try his luck, he only needs a little more money to afford gear sufficent for long desert travels.
Tanicus is one of the most well-known frequenters in Cranium. He is an old man, about the same age as Porfirio, with whom he claims to be very old friends, although Porfirio himself never really confirmed this fact. Tanicus, while loud and sometimes outright obnoxious (especially to newcomers) is pretty much liked by the staff of Cranium at this point. In fact, he was a frequenter in Cranium before any of the current staff worked there, including Porfirio himself, who has owned the tavern for twenty years now. Tanicus is retired at this point, but he had been farming avictus for fifty years, and now, his four children keep him fed, although his gambling habit is becoming less and less tolerated among those he now depends on.
Contests and duels. Cranium is a place built primarily for pilgrims, traders and wanderers who are only here to rest and refresh their food and water supplies. Thus, entertainment of guests is far from the number one priority of the tavern. There are, however, a few ways one can have fun in Cranium.
Whenever a greater conflict emerges in Perfugium, Porfirio encourages those involved to settle things in Cranium in the form of a debate or even a fight. This is a not-so-uncommon spectacle that never fails to draw many folks into the tavern. The most famous instance of this was three years ago, when Remus, a respected desert hunter, jokingly challenged an iron merchant, staying in Cranium for only two nights, for a duel. To everyone's great shock, the merchant agreed, and defeated Remus with little effort. Remus grew to respect him so much that he left Perfugium on his side, and he's rumoured to still be his personal bodyguard to this day.
Drinking contests are not irregular either. Almost every night, two or more of Perfugium's "master drinkers" collide, trying to fall unconscious only after the other one does while drinking mug after mug of weed beer. The record is held by none other than Tanicus himself, who once drank a total of twelve mugs during one night. Nobody got even close to this record, so Tanicus usually doesn't even participate in the contests, only getting involved every once in a while to put any sorry fool who believes to be match for him in their place. He's yet to be beaten.
Travelers come and go, and it is very much common that a fortune teller, magician, bard or any other kind of artist takes residence in Cranium for a few days - or even weeks, as Porfirio tends to ask less money of guests who offer a source of entertainment in his tavern. There are a few recurring guests, like Hespera, a seer who walks the pilgrim's path to Harena every year, and always stays in Cranium for about two weeks while doing so. Many await her arrival desperately all year, always expecting to hear about a gigantic conspiracy from her.

Cranium

Location Perfugium
Barkeep Porfirio the Red
Primary Material Sandstone
Age 98 years
Rooms 5
Speciality Camel cheese with weed beer

Images made in DungeonFog

Type

Pub / Tavern / Restaurant

Porfirio the Red

Porfirio is, contrary to his nickname, not red, not in hair, skin, nor any physical features. His original "title" was "the Red Camel" (pretty much the equivalent of a black sheep), which was then simplified by the townsfolk, most of whom have already forgotten why Porfirio was considered a red camel in the first place.
It is a surprisingly little known fact that Porfirio is actually almost sixty years old, as he looks to be not much over thirty. The reason behind this is a mystery to all but him, even more so as he spent years in the desert as a hermit, which usually makes people look even older than their age.
Porfirio was born into a family of avictus farmers in Perfugium. From a very young age, he seemed to be disliked by all. Strange and shady rumours about him sprouted all over Perfugium; some folk claimed that he would transform into a scaled monster at night, or that he would steal a third of the avictus from the farms every morning during harvest; and other similar things. This was the time when the title of "the Red Camel" stuck on him. Nobody did, however, really know where exactly all this gossip was coming from - although they cared little. Porfirio had no friends growing up, and even his family regarded him as a "disgrace", all for no apparent reason. Finally, at the age of eighteen, he decided to leave Perfugium behind, and make pilgrimage to the sacred ruins of Harena.
Two months later, Porfirio finally left for Harena, and he did not come back. In the third year of his absence, the people of Perfugium held a small funeral for him. Then one day, when everybody had long forgotten that he even existed, he turned up. He walked right into Cranium, pulled out a large sack of iron coins, and bought the entire tavern there and then. He was forty at the time, and it was twenty-two years after his initial departure to Harena. But according to those who still remembered him, he looked almost exactly like he did back then. And while this did disturb a few people, they had also felt an odd warmth toward him ever since his return. Now, this sixty-year-old man still runs Cranium, and he's every bit as youthful and popular as ever. Whenever he is asked about all of the strange things around him and his life, he just chuckles and says he "finally found his luck in those ruins". Nobody other than Porfirio the Red knows the true answer, but the people have long since given up trying to solve this mystery...