Kabir

Naming Traditions

Family names

Kabir family names are based on geographical locations - a family that is born near a certain lake will be van de meer (of the lake), etc. etc.

Other names

Kabir children are most often named after their grandparents, or their parents (if their parent has passed). If there are three boys born, the third boy may be given a masculine version of his grandmother's name, and vice versa if three girls are born. If all the grandparents are named, they'll be named after their aunts or uncles.

Culture

Common Etiquette rules

Shake hands with everyone present -- men, women, and children -- at business and social meetings. Shake hands again when leaving. The They consider it rude not to identify yourself. They will shake hands and say their last name, not "Hello." They also answer the telephone with their last name. It is considered impolite to shout a greeting. Wave if greeting someone from a distance. They are reserved and don't touch in public or display anger or extreme exuberance. They value privacy and seldom speak to strangers. They expect eye contact while speaking with someone. Food does not play the major role in hospitality that it does in many other cultures. It is not considered essential for making someone feel welcome. A person who never offers criticism is seen as either being simple-minded or failing to tell the truth. They find any form of ostentation a bit embarrassing. A grand gesture of generosity will only make them uncomfortable. Lavish displays of wealth are considered bad taste. Give books, art objects, wine, liquor. Do not give knives. When invited to someone's home, bring a small gift for the hostess. Bring children a small gift or candy. Sending flowers before or after the party is also appropriate. Stand when a woman enters the room. They keep hands out of your pockets while talking to someone or shaking hands.

Common Dress code

They prefer fashions that are casual, unpretentious, conservative and subdued. Nothing fancy. Trousers, shirts, jackets, skirts. Whatever's comfy.

Common Customs, traditions and rituals

Birthdays are celebrated happily, but the birthday girl/boy is the one who gives gifts - be it pastries and sweets, or other small gifts.

Birth & Baptismal Rites

It is most usual for women to give birth at home. Special biscuits are made for the occasion - round toast with candied anise seeds. Anise seeds are said to promote fertility and lactation. These biscuits are handed to visitors, and the father goes around handing them out through the neighbourhood. Visitors make appointments to visit the baby. No unannounced visits. Except from close family.

Funerary and Memorial customs

Deaths are announced in newspapers, and a short note of condolence is expected from neighbours and family members. But visits are discouraged before the funeral. Funeral takes place in a funeral home. Floral arrangements are put everywhere. There is a reception later, with finger foods, where people can give condolences. Home visits don't happen a lot, unless they're close family. Or have made an appointment.

Ideals

Beauty Ideals

Kabirs are blonde, and very tall. Giant in fact. The taller you are, the more commanding you are, the more admired you are. Their faces are long and narrow. They are very big, but they are graceful, and, though large-boned, women are petite. As petite as one can be when they're 9 feet tall. The men are just as tall, just as graceful, but they prefer to work on their muscles, and bulk up. They're truly towers of strength. Their usually blonde hair is thick and luscious, usually falling all the way down their back - for both male and female. Women keep it long and free, while men braid parts of it, and wear it more like armour.

Gender Ideals

Men are warriors. Their strength is insurmountable. Women don't do much fighting. Not physical fighting anyway. They prefer verbal war. Hey, just because they're enormous, doesn't mean they're violent, ok?

Relationship Ideals

Relationships will only prosper if the people in them are honest with one another. Honesty is the number one policy in all relationships. They are also very casual. No fancy dinners, or suffocating dresses. You wanna date me? Wear jeans and lets go! They don't do lots of flattery and luxurious (read: pointless) presents. They'll buy you something you need, and will use, and won't needlessly compliment you. Who wants a half-assed fake compliment anyway? When it comes to marriage, it is a serious thing. Usually, couples will move in together, have kids, and then decide if they want to get married. Makes sense. I guess...