Wolaríxkín (woh-la-reekhs-keen)

Wolaríxkín are a species of anthropomorphic waterfowl in the Clarkwoods Literary Universe. They’re duck people, okay, but they’re pretty sensitive about being disrespected, so we figured we’d be all scientific and technical and stuff in the first sentence. Y’know, to make ’em feel important and whatnot.

 

But yeah, they’re basically just bipedal talking ducks.

 

Just don’t call them quackers. They’re not mad, but they do get mad. And you wouldn’t like them when they’re angry, especially the green ones.

 

Origins

Well, since you’re demanding an eggsplanation, here we go:

 

Wolaríxkín were genetically engineered by kíndallan and dwarven scientists in The Reek during the Third Interregnum.

 

By splicing the DNA of simple Terran ducks with the shape-shifting genetic code of the kíndalla, the team was able to complete the first of many anthropomorphic experiments.

 

But though the Wolas began their existence in the purgatorial paradise of Eden—confined for a time to the Duckensian slums of the Reekian town of Swampford—they would not be stuck there for long. At the end of the Third Interregnum, as sapient species moved out into the now-expanding fourth iteration of reality, the Wolas migrated to a planet they could call their own.

   

Notable Ethnicities

Daffian
Evolved from the American black duck, Daffians tend to be assertive, unrestrained, and combative. Prone to speech impediments—lisps in particular—they are exceedingly self-conscious of their flaws, but quick to defend themselves against any who might critique them.


Donaldian
Evolved from the American Pekin, Donaldians tend to be mischievous, temperamental, and pompous. They are, through some accident in the breeding process, capable of entering a berserker rage which elevates their strength and resistance to pain—with a commensurate reduction in critical reasoning skills. All of that said, when they are not upset, Donaldians have a zest for life that is unmatched by any other Wola ethnic group.


Estevezian
Evolved from mallards, Estevezians are traditionally low-key, laid-back underachievers. They do their best to stay out of trouble and to not draw attention to themselves, unless absolutely necessary. Under pressure, they rise to challenges. Like all Wolas, they are omnivorous, but they are notable for being far more adventurous in their food choices than other ethnicities—to the point where other Wolas swear, often with a note of disgust, that Estevezians will eat anything.


Howardian
Evolved from the German Pekin, Howardians are typically irritable, cynical, and lecherous. They are known for their libido, their seemingly unquenchable thirst for intoxicants, and their gloomy—they say “realistic”—worldview. Howardians can be fun, but don’t get them started on any of the numerous subjects they are experts on. Their culture prizes education above all else. Autodidactism or a more traditional education—Howardian parents don’t care. Just make sure you’re always learning.


Tillerzian
Evolved from the same German Pekin as the Howardians, Tillerzians as a culture are nearly the polar opposite of their irritable cousins. Tillerzians are known for their kindness, good humor, and helpfulness. A Wola that anyone can be friends with—that’s the Tillerzian. Their non-threatening yellow coat, which they maintain from the time they’re ducklings, gives them a youthful, “cute” appearance. This can make a Tillerzian hard to take seriously, but they are indeed serious about the people, places, and things they care for. Passionate, even.

Basic Information

Anatomy

Wolaríxkín are bipedal waterfowl with abnormally tall craniums. They ambulate on on two webbed feet, and have two arms instead of a pair of wings—each of which ends in a hand with five digits (four fingers and an opposable thumb). They share the beak of their genetic ancestor the Terran duck, as well as that animal’s corkscrew-shaped genitalia.

 

Yes, you read that that right. You’re not quacking up, and you can read this Buzzfeed article to learn more.

Genetics and Reproduction

Wolas are generally monogamous, but their partnerships tend to last no more than breeding season. Females tend to build a nest before breeding, generally selecting a suitable location in the home—though some have been known to try and “get back to nature” by constructing their nests outside, and even if far-off locales where the ritual of sitting on the nest won’t be so boring.

 

Like their Terran duck ancestors, male and female Wolas are possessed of genitalia which corkscrews in the opposite direction from one another. Corkscrew vaginas even have “dead ends,” which allow a female to control whether or not she wants to get pregnant. This makes sex for pleasure a pleasant reality for Wolas.

 

Should a couple choose to have ducklings together, however, the female will lay a clutch of 4–8 creamy white eggs. Incubation takes 60–90 days.

Growth Rate & Stages

Do you know why ducks never truly grow up? Because they grow down, of course.

 

In all seriousness, though, Wolas are born relatively mature and mobile. There is a four- to six-year fledgling period where the duckling stays relatively close to its mother, but after that the juvenile duck is ready to stop waking their mama at the quack of dawn and fully embark on their journey towards independence.

 

They stay close to home for a further six years—especially during fowl weather, which they are particularly sensitive to.

 

Wolas are considered adults at ten to twelve years old and live for a total of 40–60 years.

Scientific Name
Anas sapiens
Lifespan
40–60 years
Average Height
2' 7"
Average Weight
40 lbs

Comments

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1 Jan, 2022 15:37

How did I know you were going to get into the corkscrews of it all? Nice article Chris, I like the variations and their inspirations even more!

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E. Christopher Clark
1 Jan, 2022 15:49

Thanks! I actually don't think I knew—or else had long since forgotten—about the corkscrews thing until a day or two ago.   No one will believe me when I say that, but it's true!

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1 Jan, 2022 16:31

That was a good and funny read. X-D

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E. Christopher Clark
1 Jan, 2022 16:53

Thanks! I'm glad you had a good time reading it.

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1 Jan, 2022 16:33

This is just fantastic! :D

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E. Christopher Clark
1 Jan, 2022 16:54

Thanks so much! I had a lot of fun with this one.

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Grandmaster zpires
jyliet +& maddy zpires
1 Jan, 2022 17:26

there are a lot of phrases out there in the world, but i'm not going to forget "seemingly unquenchable thirst for intoxicants." this is awesome from header to footer.

love, jyliet & maddy
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E. Christopher Clark
1 Jan, 2022 20:03

thank you so much! if you partake in intoxicants yourself, i hope your thirst is never unquenchable! :-)

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2 Jan, 2022 15:48

This was a wonderful read, I had to laugh through most of it! I think my favorite part are the different ethnicities.


Creator of the Kaleidoscope System, an alien star system shaped by a colorful radiation source.   Visit the Lakeview Bar, my entry to the Tavern challenge!
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E. Christopher Clark
2 Jan, 2022 16:17

Thanks! Yeah, the different ethnicities were the part I was thinking about all month, so they're probably the most developed. So glad you enjoyed it and got some laughs!   Oh, and random—regarding your name and world—yesterday, while scrambling to finish WorldEmber, I discovered that a group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope. A kaleidoscope of butterflies! How neat!

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2 Jan, 2022 18:31

Ohh, that is neat indeed! Thanks for sharing this! And suddenly I have the urge to take a closer look at the butterflies in my world...


Creator of the Kaleidoscope System, an alien star system shaped by a colorful radiation source.   Visit the Lakeview Bar, my entry to the Tavern challenge!
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E. Christopher Clark
2 Jan, 2022 19:31

You're welcome! They're such interesting creatures. Also, another fun fact: the guy who creates the languages for Game of Thrones etc. says that it's really fun to look up the word for butterfly in new languages, since it always has really interesting evolutions/etymologies.

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Eternal Sage LauraVAB
Laura VanArendonk Baugh
2 Jan, 2022 20:58

This is a delightful romp all through, but "Duckensian slums" just nailed it.

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E. Christopher Clark
2 Jan, 2022 22:14

Thank you! That was a last-minute addition that I'd been thinking about for a day or so, but almost forgot to add!

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16 Jan, 2022 19:59

This is terrible and I love it. How dare you make so many puns?? I'm quacking up!

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E. Christopher Clark
16 Jan, 2022 21:53

I can't help it: I'm a wise quacker.

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16 Jan, 2022 20:00

*dies* This is hilarious -- and you have solid-gold worldbuilding thoroughly woven between the lines of the dad jokes and fan service, too. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. *applauds*

Author of the Wyrd West Chronicles and the Toy Soldier Saga. Mother of Bunnies, Eater of Pickles, Friend of Nerds, First of her Name.
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E. Christopher Clark
16 Jan, 2022 21:54

Thank you so much for the comment and for reading it on stream. I'm definitely going to have to remember the note about the Howardians and their relationships when I write that ethnicity article.

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31 Jan, 2022 19:00

That's just a fun and amazing read! I like the variations you've included in the article and honestly the way you've written it makes it a pleasure to read. Overall, this is just an amazing article! Great job!

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E. Christopher Clark
31 Jan, 2022 19:09

Thank you! The variations were an especially fun part of this to write, so I'm glad you liked them.

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