Blind Pete
Blind Pete
Wild looking even for a beggar (bone jewelry, strange tats). Hangs around rats.
Physical Description
Specialized Equipment
Wild looking even for a beggar (bone jewelry, strange tats). Hangs around rats.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
Blind Pete has been on the streets of Waterdeep for years, an old blind beggar from the southern jungles. But he seems to have gotten over the blind thing. Good luck getting a straight explanation from him.
Personality Characteristics
Personality Quirks
Talks to rats.
Hygiene
Ha!
Wild looking even for a beggar (bone jewelry, strange tats). Hangs around rats.
Current Location
Trades Ward
Birthplace
Chult
Children
Current Residence
Waterdeep
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How Pete helped the Queen get her Maidenhead back
Told while sailing towards Chult, in order to better prepare his friends for what they might expect there...
Our People were blessed with the wisest King and Queen in all of Chult. But the law of the jungle is harsh, and jealousy creates many enemies. The Watahmbu saw all of what we had, and coveted it for themselves. So great was their envy that they allied with Belachi (snake people), forsworn enemies of all the tribes. They betrayed our great and noble King on a raid against the Belachi. He died along with his entire honour guard that day, and our people retreated into mourning. Last of all to shed the black veil was our Queen, bereft of her true and fated mate. Many moons passed, and the People grew restless. We would not fade away like some lesser tribe though, and our people demanded strong leadership. Queen N’Chall answered our call, and led us against those who had betrayed the King. When all of them had been sent to the Land Beyond Shadow, a grand alliance of all the peoples in the area was struck. In order to cement this bargain, the Queen must needs remarry one of their princes. It was the way.
The Queen, strong and fit, was betrothed to an old man with a belly the size of a mountain (which was the way of their people). He could barely move himself, and was carried everywhere in a litter borne by 6 of their strongest warriors. Eventually the elders came to her and asked why she delayed the bonding ceremony. She replied that because she had already been married, she did not want to dishonor her new king by performing the joining ceremony with a maidenhead that was not intact. Pete only knew this because he had become the leader of her honour guard after the King’s death. The elders replied that they respected her concerns, and would pray with her. But the alliance was at risk, and the ceremony could not be put off for much longer. The Queen prayed and fasted all night, and in the morning the gods revealed to her a solution. She had to spend 10 nights alone in the wilderness, with only a single guard to watch over her. If she left all else behind and prayed every night, they would restore to her all that was lost.
Pete was at that time even prettier than he is now, young and virile, the picture of a warrior in his prime. He was also known throughout the jungle as a man of great honor, whose word was his bond. His exploits were many, and their tales had spread throughout the tribes. Hardly any were actually told by Pete himself, for he was modest and left it to others to hold his virtue up to the sky…
Where was I? Ah yes. The Queen went into the jungle for 10 straight nights, escorted only by Pete. The People all knew that the gods were speaking to her. Many told tales of hearing the caterwauls of the great leopard gods, screaming their pleasure with her loyalty all through the night. On the tenth day she declared that the gods were content, and her maidenhead had been restored. The ceremony was performed, and great alliances were cemented. To show respect for her rotund husband, the Queen did not join in any of the dancing, this despite being renowned for her skills. In fact, many remarked on how she honored him by barely moving throughout the entire celebration, making a displeased face when she was forced to do so. This is what I heard, anyway. Pete slept through the whole thing, and was given leave from his duties for several days thereafter. Hard won, it might be said.
Kent belive nobody brut me supper
Woo, tings sure been crazy since da silver lady (sorry, gotta use code names in dis biz) appointed us her chosen ones. One night we be goin fer a casual stroll in a fancy neighborhood, da next we be steppin tru magic circles. But lemme not be gettin too far ahead ah mahself. Go back a couple a days, ta before when everyone was callin us Force Blue.
We wuz trying ta figger out why da people keep gettin blown up by da Trollskull, so cousin Flynn got us an invite to a fancy Growl Hound party. Apparently dem rich folks like der dogs - meh, least dey aint cats. So ol' Pete, bein a man a da people, volunteered ta go wit da Baron and da Grim Kin. Wut ah dint know wuz dat da rest ah da Fam was plannin to go get some eats at a fancy pants pub nearby. But ahm a man ah mah word, so ah stuck to da plan. And man, whatta party wuz goin on at da Growl Hound place. Der were snake people, der were eye people, der were Growl Hound people, and der were udder peoples. It was a happenin place dat night - and not just cuz ol Pete wuz dere.
So da 2 rat friends went in scoutin da manor out. An it wadn't long fore dey be tellin us dat tings wuz goin south real fast at dat party. So a course Pete sneaks in while da rest of da fam hightails it up from dat restaurant. 'Parently cousin Veek went back ta look fer mah doggie bag, but dem fancy waiters is mean and ate it right off. Bless her soul fer tinkin ah me, tho. So while ahm a sittin stealthy like in da kitchen, da rest ah da manor is gettin turned inta a gang war zone. Good ol Grigs lets us know dat da top lady ah da Hound family is a hidin' in her room - wit a balcony outside. So we decide ta skip all da festivities goin on inside and sneak around. Course, what we dint know was dat da dogs was ghost dogs, and dey was onta us right quick. I kinda respect dat dey ate der 3 square meals a day even doh dey was dead - never see a cat ghost havin' proper priorities like dat.
But dey was no match fer Force Blue, and pretty soon da whole team is up in da lady's bedroom. Dat's when tings gotta bit awkward. Some drow steampunk pirates showed up tryin ta get involved but also bein mysterious-like. Ah give em credit for bein cool as da pavement in winter, but dey weren't no match fer da eloquaicous skills ah Pete, backed up by mah clan. So after some fancy negotiatin dat woulda made da silver lady proud, we got what we wanted, whatever dat was. Da only reason I'm not bein specific bout it is cuz dis be top secret, and not at all cuz ah don't really understand.
Meanwhiles, we also be openin up da Tavern fer business. Bout time, right? We had us a proppa Grand Opening, wit all kinds a fancy folk and food and music and ah course, Pete. Under mah supervision, we trew a party dat woulda made da palace proud. Speaking a which... uh, nevermind, we kent be speakin' ah dat. But all kinds a new fancy friends ah ours showed up fer a proppa evenin'. Cousin Veek made so much fancy eats dat ah almost tapped out. Almost. Cousin Nettie was puttin on all kinda fancy shows an stuff - I'm tinkin she likes dat almost as much as ah like da food. Da heads a da wine an ale an likker guilds wuz dere too, an ah suppose ah don't haveta tell ya where ah spent mosta mah night. And Mirt wuz dere doin us ol' fat guys proud. I'm of da opinion dat bein old and fat is when a man comes inta his prime - all dat wisdom an good livin rubs off on people, ya know wut ah mean?
So anyways, we's heroes agin. But now da silver lady tinks tings is gettin kinda serious. So ol Pete goes a-swimmin in da ocean - underwater. Betcha dint know he could do dat. Weren't nothin, just grew some fins and gills and swam about. Didja know dat da fart spell could also dry clothes likity split? Lord Ratikins is mighty, kent wait ta find out wut else it can do. So we do some more vestigatin' an find out dat da steampunk pirates got a bit more to 'em den we tought at first. It's a little confusin' and I know tinkin' ain't yer strong suit, so I'll just leave it dere. Anyways, now we's gonna go interrogate sum prisoners bein held in top secret places, den head over ta a fancy ol tower dat may be holdin sum impotent mysteries. Prolly end up savin some more folks and headin inta even more dangerous spots. But doan worry none Gutter, Pete'll be back. He always comes back, right.
<Pete then places a couple of sacks of food next to the guy sleeping in the alley and motions to a boy passing by> Here's a shard, kid. See dat ol' Barlic here gets fed. Dere's plenty ta go around - make sure him and da boys get a good helpin'. Doan be a cheatin' no one here, or dat rat starin ya down over dere is gonna let me know, got it? Now ah got impotent tings ta be doin, so ah kent be answerin' yer questions. Good, ya oughta be lookin' confused. Here, have another shard.
The Story of how Pete Lost His Sight (Part 2)
Now lookee here young'uns, Ol Pete wudn't always blind as a swamp lizard in winter. Back when ah wuz a strappin yute, not much older than you alls, ah had da honor a leadin mah village inta battles. See, turns out regular folk ain't too fond a dyin'. Most of 'em wanna jus' kick der feet up by dah fire after hoe'in dem fields. Kinda like da "civilized" folk here in the 'Deep. They got all dese high an mighty folk protectin 'em, workin in der little shops feelin safe and happy. But yoose and me, we know da troof about da dark side of da city. (He fixes a stare at the kids, nodding when they don't look away).
Anyways, I wuz tellin y'all about leadin' mah people inta battle, and wut an honor it wuz. See, der be a lotta bad out der in da Realm, and y'aint always gotta a Paladin around ta protect ya. So when some of our neighbors got ta feelin uppity, dey would come lookin' fer da bounty ah mah bootiful Grimpshaw. Now, seein as we wuz nestled in da foothills ah duh Kobold Mountains, dat happened kinda regular like. But mosta mah folk wuz best at farmin da land, and even duh warriors were pretty much jes hunters mosta duh time. So when a nasty band ah gobbos an' natterlins came a callin', dey wuz more inclined tah run an' hide, lettin' duh nasty critters take all ar stuff. Which wuz better'n dyin ah suppose, but it also kinda meant da young uns and old foke would be starvin' til we could get back ta normal. So dats were Pete an his boyz came in. We trained proppa like tah be warriors. It wuz our job tah eat da wozenberries and get ar battle craze on. Kinda like dis... (Pete eats a blueberry and screams at the kids. He lets out a big old belly laugh when they start to run, obviously quite pleased with himself. He gives them the rest of the blueberries to win them back.)
So der dey wuz, duh Yellow Moon Gobbos, comin tah take wut wuz rightfully ars. Now bein young at da time (though not nearly as pretty as ah is now), ah kinda thought dat fightin wuz where honor got won. It ain't, ya know? Wad am ah sayin, y'all already nose dat survivin is da real trick. But like ah said, ah wuz young an foolish back den. So ah figgered ah'd be duh first ah duh Boyz ta git inta battle wit dese gobbos. But dey had dere pet natterlins, an ah ain't never seen dere ilk afore. Turns out dese tings kin spit poison, an' if ya all jacked up on wozenberries ya don't much worry bout a little spittin'. Dese tings caught me right in da eyeholes, stingin' like ah went swimmin wit ah womper eel. Now dis only made me hotter den hell, cuz back den ah taught det real men didn't nevva cry. Which ain't true needer, ya know? Turns out dat waterin from da eyes pays respect ta dose dat deserve it. But anyways, back den it jez made Pete even hotter. So ah laid about, killin all dem natterlin's afore dey could wreck duh other boyz. When duh gobbos saw dat dere wuz even more ah dose dat wrecked der pets, dey turned tail an ran like da cowardly creatures dey be. See, dat dere be one ah duh tricks y'all got ta be learnin' - who really be fearsome and worth running from, and who just be a bully dat'll turn tail once dey see dere up against a real warrior.
Anyways, dats how Pete lost his eyes. Mah village took good care o me after dat, seein as I had saved em an all dat. I knows what ya tinkin', "Pete, yoose got eyeballs now." But dat's a story fer anudder day. Right now y'all head home and figger out who's got poison an who's jez gonna run.
Word on the Street
Hush, younglings. Youse got ta be learning dat de art of hearin' and seein' means closin' da mouse an letting da Deep talk to ya.
As the old man in clothing that at some point in time could generously be described as garishly rich talked, the rat on his shoulders made the strangest gyrations. An observant passerby might have noticed the one girl paid particular attention to the rat and not the old man's words. Of course, there were no observant passersby. It did not seem like the random journeys of this ragtag group avoided observation intentionally, but to citizens of the Deep they were invisible, just everyday scenery like weeds one walks by without ever focusing attention on.
Now even dough Pete be an emmissar of impotent folk...
-Huh? Don't worry bout emmissar, it's a grown folk word. Eh? Ya know I dunno, dat be yer job Baron - just tell her not ta worry bout dat.
-What you say? You be doubtin dat Pete be knowin impotent folk? Shows what you know. Now stop your sassin' or I'll be eatin one o' my wozenberries right now.
If this was supposed to be a threat, it may have been an overused one. The kids rolled their eyes and giggled to each other. Pete pretended not to notice.
Now where wuz I? You kids be lucky, runnin' da streets like ya do, ya not too likely ta git old like Pete. See dat blind alley dere? Dat's where ol' Jimmoa-bob used ta call home. Smart guy like him goes missin, dat ain' yer normal run-o-da-mill street shenanigans. Sumptin fierce is goin on. You all keep yer eyes open, but dinnae be fraid ta turn tail and spend da night up by da Trollskull. You knows da deal, y'aint no good ta no one if ya be dead.
The 3 kids seemed to sober up a bit. Pete continued, satisfied that his words had their intended effect.
It be likely dat da big boyz be gettin involved in dis one. Ya hear anyting, ya come ta Pete and let me handle lookin inta it. Bein da chosen hooman o' Lord Ratikins, and other impotent folk, (He paused and shot a glare at the children, but their cheer seemed to have disappeared) my cousins and me are da proper folk ta be puttin an end ta dis nonsense. It's always da harmless folk a' da street dat gotta pay da price when greedy types get even greedier.
The serious look on Pete's face faded, as though it was fatiguing unused muscles.
Now Jenks, ya say dat yer friends been havin fun at dis Faire, Da Sea Maiden? Bit of a workin night off, eh? Yeah, I heard o dese - but dey dint mean too much ta me when I couldn't see. Da Baron says dere be some damn fine eats, dough. Lemme see dat dere flyer...
How I Met the Baron
<Pete mumbles to himself in the tower study, holding the Baron's severed head while summoning a new one>
Doggone it, seems like jes yesserday dat ah wuz sittin' in dat alley, shooin away dem fearsome cats wut always tried ta steal mah food. Ah'm tinkin dat's why ya took a shine to me, cuz ah dint let dem feline devils have der way in mah alley. But it weren't easy ta do widdout mah sight, dem bein so quick an' sneaky like. Course, made matters worse dat dey wuz responsible for me loosin mah eyes (but dat be a story fer anudder day).
Anyways, yoose come along an' started talkin' ta me bout da wonders of Lord Ratikins, and all da glory of da world back in the day, when ratkind and humanoids lived in harmony and bounty. But da evil cat demoness was jealous, spiteful creature dat she is. So she sent her devil cats inta da world ta hunt da rats dat wuz helpin ta provide for people. Den dey started spreadin lies an hate, an tricked da weak-minded humies inta lettin cat critters inta der home. And dat's when disease and filth started ta spread, widdout all da noble rats ta keep da balance. Course ah stepped up an volunteered mah services to the wise an' noble Lord Ratikins. Ya dint even have ta ask, togedder we started fightin back ginst da evil horde of ....
<Grisbi and the Baron walk in at this moment, Grisbi purring and the Baron walking under him and rubbing up against his legs. They appear to be slightly unsteady. For the first time since meeting in the Yawning Portal, Pete appears to be speechless>
Uhhhh... ummmm... wut... ???????
.
.
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Wut in da Nine Hells is goin on here? Yoose is fraternizin' wit a kitty? ...
Now dat ain't right - you nose ah kin see agin. Yeah, I see da ball o' fur. Huh? Wut in tarnation is a Grim Kin? Ah kin durn well see a rat wut's about ta be in a world o' hurt.
<The Baron sways over to Pete, struggles and fails to climb up his robe.>
C'mere, lil'buddy. Nope, never had fermented cheese milk. Course ya know I'm keen ta be tryin' it now meself. Ya kin tell me all about Grim Kins. It ain't a cat, it jes be lookin' like one? Yoose is related?!? ...
Yeah, I'm sure dey be very noble folk. But waddaya say we have a lil' lie down furst. Ah got a feelin' dat evil hag be comin back, and dis time ah got a notion ta be claimin' a different head.
The Real Story of How Pete Lost His Sight (Part 3)
Back in Grimpshaw, nestled in da arms a' da Kobold Mountains, life weren't always bootiful. Now don' git me wrong or nuttin, it's jes about da purtiest place in da Realms. But mebbe cause a' dat, dere was always critters trying ta take what din't belong to dem. Now take da bee-yoo-ti-ful statcha we had in da center a' ar lil village. It was da snake goddess G'r'Sssshalk, and she wuz a mighty fine lookin' statcha, ah kin tell ya dat. So one day a group a dem snake folk comes by tryin' ta steal it, so me and da boyz sent 'em scootin wit dere tails tween dere legs. Seemed like all wuz good fer a moon or so, 'til we got word dat a big group a dem wuz headin ar way. Dat made da elders git all skittish, and dey started dat talk ah runnin an' hidin agin. Even talkin' funny about da statcha, sayin' mebbe we'd had it long enuff. But me an' da boyz weren't havin none a' dis nonsense, so we headed out ta git started on dem tung lickers. Ah got mah mad on an' charged inta 'em. But ah reckon da rest ah da boyz forgot dere wozenberries, an' when dey went back ta git 'em da elders decided we wuz jes handin' over da statcha.
Well, ol' Pete wuz a fierce an' feisty warrior, but all by mehself ah din't have no chance aginst all dem snakes. Dey took me down an' trussed me up as a spoil o' war. Bein' kinda uncivilized, dey went and poked mah eyes out fer good measure. Dey laughed an' said dat if we hadn't taken whut din't belong ta us, ah'd still have mah sight. Dey wuz talkin' about how tasty ah'd be, but when we got back ta where dey came from, dere bossman said he din't like no manflesh, an' he'd be sellin' me off.
So ah ended up on a wagon headed up ta dis cold nort' city, wit nuttin an' no one tah watch mah back. Den along came dah Baron, representin' da fine an' mighty Lord Ratikins. An' he done chose me tah bring da good word to dah people, sendin' a sliver o' his mighty power mah way. Den he went an' led me tah a uni-corn dat needed savin', knowin' dat dah healin' powers ah dat wunnerful critter would bring back dah sight dem snake folk had stolen. An' now imma make sure dat dis here statue don't end up in da wrong hands. Cause ol' Pete is a might smarter den da young'un, and he ain't gonna be repeatin' dah mistakes ah yoot.
Party Time!!!
Woo Hee, Ol' Pete done lucked inta it dis time. We gunna have ahselves a paaahtay!!! All mah cousins and me got dis big ol' tavern, an' it be in some fine shape, yes indeedy. Deys all plannin ta fix dis and dat up, hirin' folks and what not. But Pete be doin da real work, gettin fine folk ta come on down when we swing open dem doors. Ah'm figurin ah'll be da one ta have ta be all sociable like wit our guests, showin proppa hospitality. Lucky Pete got a extra dose o' charm and personality. Once ah git ta tellin mah stories and working dem folk, da money will surely flow like wine. Heck, gettin people ta throw money at ya while yoose plyin em wit drink ain't nuttin compared ta da way ah used ta git it.
Got sum kinda strange folk fer neighbors, but heck ah reckon ah oughta be used ta dat. Da furniture guy is pretty friendly like, volunteerin' ta make a special chair for Pete. Only fair, after all dem years wit gutter for me bum. Da weird plant elf don't show much appreciation fer kind gifts, and ah think ahd rather dumpster dive than et dat nasty "grocer" stuff. Found a little dragon man - turned out mah cousin Veek wuz holdin out me, lettin me tink she was a lizard lady. She be dragon folk!!! S'all-raht doh, fool me once an' all dat. Ain't no way dat woman gunna put anudder one over on Ol' Pete, mock mah words.
Speakin o' revelations, who knew dat mah little cousin Nettie din't wear no underwear? Sheeeooot, ah guess dat even family got secrets.
The Story of How Pete Lost His Sight (Part 1)
Dat be a question Ol' Pete gits axed a lot. I was jest startin ta enter mah manhood, wit fresh fuzz on mah testicles. Skulkin thru da brush, huntin da fumorious Bandersnatch. Tis a fearsome creature, with 'uge fangs and fearsome claws. But dat be a story fer anudder day. On dis fateful morn, Ah came up on mah favorit wudderin hole, hearin a splishin and a splashin. Ah gave out a fierce battle yell as ah leapt out of da bush, spear over mah head. But it wern't no bandersnatch, but da Queen herself a bathin. Now da women o mah village are a practical lot, goin about wit der milk duds hangin oot - easier ta feed da babes dat way. Not like dat here in da 'Deep (mournful sigh and a pause as he gets lost in some memory).
Anyways, da Queen ain't no normal woman, and her tatas wern't fer no man to see but da King. Ah had disgraced her by seein dis, and she could never walk aboot in da village agin, knowin' dat my evil eyes had seen her glory. So ah did wat any noble savage would do, ah reached up an' plucked mah own eyes out...
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.
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Now young Pete wern't as smart as old Pete mind ya, but he wern't no fool needer. Ah knew ah might be needin dem eyes agin some day, so I popped em in me mouth and kept em safe in mah belly all deez years...
Now ya know da secret o why Pete always be a smilin'. Cause while every udder man be walkin aboot wit only one pair, Ol' Pete knows he's got 2 pairs ah balls down here. (He rubs his belly and starts laughing and guffawing, obviously quite pleased with himself).
The Drunken Rat
Trollskull Manor was a whirlwind of activity. Veek was coordinating food vendors, Nettie was in the ear of carpenters and masons, Ristrien was taking notes on everything, and Flynn was overseeing it all. Pete was mostly just in the way, insisting that more samples of food and drink be brought back by the various vendors. But as the day turned into night, an eerie quiet began to descend on the Manor. The streets were thick with fog, and the old building was not up to the task of keeping that out. Drifting wisps wafted through the floors, settling down stairs. But behind that damp stillness the sounds of scrabbling could be heard - rats in the walls! Curiosity aroused, it appeared that they were heading down into the cellar in numbers. The hatch door in the kitchen seemed to be accumulating the mist from the upper floors. It was sealed or stuck, and wouldn't open. Finally, Nettie rigged up a contraption that slid the bolt from the underside. There was a dank but not unpleasant odor arising from the cellars. Rushing down the steps, the earthen floors were covered with the bodies of rats. The keg that had been delivered that day had an open tap, just a few drops remaining to trickle out. Pete was lying under it, milky white eyes wide open while he snored like a thunder god. The only creature still awake was the Baron, who stood on Pete's stomach while licking the last few drops from the keg. He looked up at the intrusion and you could swear he said "Bring on the Goddam Cat!", followed by a loud belch then he too passed out.
Life is Good
Ahh, livin the good life. Now I see what I been missin (dang, I'm a clever one). Baron von Raticus is right. Da more people der are, da easier tings get. Turns out that once ya git a bit a coin and hang round with 'ard workin folks, they just start throwin copper at ya. Hell, even gold now! Sittin there with a full belly and me new friends, and dat Volo guy imself comes up and throws 10 dragons at me. For doin nothin but hanging about with fine folk. Tried to pull the old "more where dat came from" sham, but ol Pete was never blind enuff to fall for dat. Still, me friends wanted to go off, and da Baron thought it was a good idea. Who am I ta argue?
Turns out it pays to 'ang out with the lordly folk. Me new mate wit da fancy armor got in da middle of a bar tussle, but da punks wadnt dumb enuff to want a proper floggin for messin wit him. Might come in 'andy to 'ang around a mate like dat. Plus me new lizard lady friend who hates cats made me a nice batsicle. Now I got its power in me, too. Nother lady keeps writin down all me jokes - I'm tinkin she wants ta be me personal bard or sumptin. Long as ah git a cut o whatever she sells.
Heard a right purty bit o poetry from the little country lass, didn't know she 'ad dat in 'er. Den da Baron did a bit o showin off fer me new mates, an it looks like we got in a bit o' a tussle. The little lass got me feelin ma youth agin, so I busted a door down and tassled wit some crow creeps. Da nice lizard lady did a bit more a dat freezin an magicky stuff, and da lord turned out to be more than just a fancy pants. Plus da lady wit write me stories down 'pears ta 'ave a bit o the magic in 'er, too.
Lookin like we may git a bit more profit out ah dis yet...
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