This is Chester Cheepe, speaking not just for Cheepe Co., but as a friend— we've come across an issue that we'll need your assistance with. The town of Snowy Shores, an idyllic, sleepy little place that just happens to be perfectly located (and priced) for a new factory. Trouble is, the land we've purchased to construct this is presently occupied by living Christmas trees, who are none too pleased about our arrival.
My predecessors would have snapped them with their bare hands, but I lack both their absurd upper-body strength and bloodlust. Rather, I prefer to handle these sorts of things diplomatically— or by getting someone else to do the fighting for me. I would like to defer the choice as to how to handle this to you and your foundation, as this is your area of expertise.
Alright, Mr. Cheepe has called in a favor— a bunch of living Christmas trees are causing trouble for him and his company as they try to build a new factory. They make most of our supplies so we are very much invested in helping them— so we're going to step in here. Ok, well, we're not physically stepping in— god no that's too expensive right now— so we're getting creative! We're going to convince the townsfolk to get rid of the trees for us.
All personnel available, please file a complaint about the trees to the city council below— look, I know you haven't seen the trees either, so just make something up. Claim they ate your baby, demolished your home, or the bane of every middle-class town— lightly vandalized something. It'll take care of itself, and we'll get to enjoy the holiday in peace without so much as a dollar lost!