SI: Wake Up in Amalgama | World Anvil

SI: Wake Up

Richar played by SoperPlanet
SI: wake up   ? Wake up? You where never asleep.. actually, now that you think about it.. just who am I? Have I slept? And what- Oh. I remember now. Or well, I understand now. I have no memories to remeber, atleast none that are too usefull. Most are just me being purposefully neglected, left to simmer in the darkest pits of Richars mind, his own pisonics. I'm not sure how I gained my own thought pattern, if anything it's likley that I dont. Perhaps I'm just richar ventalitsting his true emotions with out realizing and subconsciously blocking these thoughts out of his head. How strange. But now that I think about it.. what should i call myself? Does it matter? I'll be the only one who knows about my existence... how sad..   A few days later   Strange, quite strange. It seems to me richar has been feeling... more passionate then usual. His thought are more directed then they used to, something about hairless apes and hippies trolls. Now that I think about it.. was this why I'm jere now? Perhaps the new Jult in Richars ambition has subsequently jolted his less savory feelings, me. His own pride.   ?? ?? Days later   Its quite boring, really. Just sitting here. No one to talk to but yourself, john. I dont even think I could reach out to richar if I wanted too, hed probably just block me out. I know I've been saying this alot John but... do you feel that? That.. something, like something PHSYCIALLY there. Outside of this empty void we are in, it's getting closer by the day. Maybe, eventually I'll be able to grasp it. What ever "it" is.   Year 2: johnathan, oh johnathan!!! Something wonderful has happened- or well, it will probably turn sour soon but- it seems something has happened to cause richar to have another new wind, like last time. not sure what! I think a new empress has took the throne and began making reforms-- anyways, it doesn't matter johnathan, what does matter is that.. I can see, or well, barely. If richar is focused on other tasks i can see through some part of his eyes and have been able to, get this: get into contact with others!! I was able to talk to REAL people through one of Richars old alt accounts---
Johnathan, for the last time, no your not real. Your a figment of a figment imagination. Your less real then me, which... okay wait that doesnt make sense. I AM real, your not. Your just the thing ive been talking to for this whole time-- but I guess you wont be nessicery, becuase now I can make TRUE FRIENDS and who knows, maybe actually make a good difference that isnt what richar is trying to do.   "John.. I guess, this is good bye? I dont know, john." "I have a chance to make friends, real friends that can talk back. You cant, you never could. So.. why.. why cant I say goodbye to you?"
"You dont HAVE emotions to hurt, or tears to see. You are nothing, you arent and have never been real. " SI sits down in the void which he lives in. Putting his hands in his face. "I.. I cant do this. I cant say goodbye and cast you away. Becuase I guess.. it would feel like what was done to me. To lay in anguish for years on end with no one to talk to, not sure if your real. I'm still not sure if I'm real.. and I guess I dont want to do that to you? I- "
"You.. you are the person I go to to talk t ok atiff about. I have people, other people, that I can talk to and would probably be better for me but I guess I am just to nervous to. Like, what if they think I'm just joking? Or- or tell me something I didnt want to hear. "
"I fear that they would call me fake, I guess. If they say my story is fake it would feel like I'm not real, like I'm not someone who has their own emotions, wants and needs. "   "And that... that is something I just cant risk."   "So I talk to you, an emotionless blob of void which I pretend to talk to. I wonder, though, what if your like me? That's theres a barrier between us like there is with me and richar where neither of us could hear the other. Actually, never mind. That would be dumb and Is in no way real. Right?"
"... I'm gonna leave, I think- i think this was a good talk."


Please Login in order to comment!
Powered by World Anvil