3.08 - Most Ridiculous Combat Evar

General Summary

The Bad Ideas find themselves in the VIP Thunderbird Lounge of Aces High casino. Easy Jake plays a punchy Jazz piano riff while Zizkek eyes the idol. 'Im going to talk to it!' he says and does.   Zizkek is in the same room but he is alone save for a beautiful woman. The Orange God has many faces, Jakes tells him later. Money, Power, and Sex are three sides of the same coin. The Orange God entices Ziz with a 'no lose' offer to gain power. All he need do is be devoted to the Orange God as his patron. Ziz sees no downside and seals the deal with a kiss.   Back at the VIP room, Suzette returns with food for Eilith and others, but mostly Eilith. But before she can plate it to the table she trips on something and drops it. Tol uses Scye to scan around. The Rat finds a most unusual sight, a tiny man. Tol levitates the man and he crys out in a tiny voice 'Alphateam go!' Immediately he is returned to full size and a combat begins. Suddenly four neocon soldiers, a Foxcaster, a Politico, and a Dark Pundit return to normal size around the room ready to attack   The Neocon, decked out in the latest Milspec armor and weapons, is the first attacked. His wounds, neither fatal or even all that damaging, cause him to panic in whimpers of the injustice of this crime on his person. He is dropped low before he can reach the doorway. Meanwhile, the Foxcaster Spins the facts, causing Zizkek and Tol to be swept up in a whirlwind and be flung out greatly injured. Fae jumps onto a bartop to attempt to hit a Neocon but their armor protects well and the man feels overly confident.   Craziness escalated and the order of events became immaterial. Mitch the Politico called you all dirty foreign minorities who were just here to steal good jobs, told you all to go back to your homeworld. His message reached AALans ears to Tow the Party Line of 'non violence', suggesting that he disarm Faezyre. Zizkek released one fireball and tried a second but was countermanded by Horus the Foxcaster. Horus himself made Eilith the Giantess tiny to marginalize her. Liam summoned a beerbeam and an Elephant for added symbolism. Tol sent a barage of balls to Mitch's feet moments before he could do a 'Redistribution' of health from the Bad Ideas to His party. Skytipper the Dark Pundit used Manufactured Rage to grow large and Hotair to summon an elemental. AALan summoned a ghostly barrier of pain and whipped Horus with a spiritual crop. Eldrick shot arrows at Neocons, who once they were injured almost inevitably failed their composure check and broke down in impotent tantrums of white male entitlement.   While all this was happening Eldrick talked with the Orange God. Seemingly Jake was wrong and when Liam tried it didn't respond for other reasons. Eldrick found himself on a battlefield. His corpse lay in the mud stabbed fatally in the eye. The Orange God offered him anything he desired for the mere exchange of being his acolyte. Eldrick took quickly to an interpretation of what being an acolyte of a god means, sharing the good word, distributing pamphlets, holding bake sales, and whatnot, and saw no downside. He accepted, choosing the ability to call a wondrous natural event called a Sharknado once a day. The God agreed and sealed it with a handshake.

Rewards Granted

Zizkek has a free level of Warlock Eldrick has gained the innate spell 'Sharknado'

Missions/Quests Completed

One step closer to Harold Aces III

Notes

That combat got too complicated for me to keep track of. Things I should have done but didn't. Not that any of this matters, because the goal was to have a crazy fight that people could use their big spells on.

• You actually didn't have weapons. All weapons were peace bound (shrunk) by Horus
• I forgot to attack with the Elemental until the end
• I never attacked with the Hatchet