Session 55: The Hammer is my Penis

General Summary

The party engaged the carrion crawlers, discovering their lair of rotting corpses. They also discovered the carrion queen, which swallowed Bolvaic whole during the combat, although he was able to smash his way out of the stomach of the huge creature, killing it.   The party found a clutch of the carrion crawler queen’s eggs and destroyed them. Searching through the corpses left behind, the party found a hard wooden breastplate that was unmarred, as well as a pair of boots, three potions, and a book entitled “Memory of my Admiration”, a romance novel with several notes in the margins and underlined passages, along with a small sum of gold coin.   Elkantar suggested that the party move on and find someplace that did not reek of the dead to rest and camp. The party found a small alcove with a cold pool of water to wash up in. Bolvaic was convinced to wash up in the pond with soap, despite Fox’s warnings that he will never smell the same again. Levi refused to translate to Bolvaic, so he thought that the fox wanted to join him and pulled him into the pond and started to wash him as well.   Annoyed, the fox left to groom himself with his tongue to try to get the scent of soap off of him. As the party began their rest at camp, they referred to Aralmeni as Bolvaic’s girlfriend, though he did not know that she was, but did admit to having felt a bond with her since she was the first Dwarf that he had seen since his clan was slain.   When asked if he had romanced Bolvaic, he admitted that he did not know what that was, but he did watch a few sunsets with her and gave her a flower. However, since Tertius and Levi were the only ones present in an existing relationship, they were asked by Bolvaic if he had romanced her. Tertius’ romantic experiences came mostly through reading books, as Levi doesn’t make romantic gestures. The books, however, were mostly poorly penned erotica and Tertius asked if they ever used illustrative metaphors, like unsheathing his sword and having her remark about how large and powerful it seemed.   Not using a sword, Bolvaic said that he cannot unsheath anything, but that Aralmeni showed him where his hammer was and that he let Aralmeni hold his hammer, but it took two hands because of its size. It was concluded that Bolvaic was definitely romancing her.   During the rest, Ilbryen identified the items, and Tiarjead took both the Shadow Breastplate and the Trickster’s Steps boots, while Bolvaic had claimed the potions which ended up being a Potion of Water Breathing, a Potion of Greater Healing, and a Potion of Hill Giant Strength. Levi took the book, “Memory of my Admiration”.   The party finally exited the tunnels beneath the Teapeak Mountains and found themselves near Caer Craftenor once more and decided to head to the city to rest and resupply, but also to see Princess Ireltharis Alistair, to thank her for her aid in liberating Eastbridge.