How to hire "heroes".

General Summary

So, I have this suspicion that Borso is either trying to get rid of me or keep me out of the Festival fights this year. Three days ago, he just happens to lose some piece of junk artifact to the Eagle Order and guess who has to clean up his fucking mess? So first he’s all “go get some competent help, but do it for a pittance! You could start with getting some tool who got caught fucking the magisters wife and then just fucking IMPROVISE!” What the hell did he expect to happen?! “Sorry we locked you up, would you like to work for us for free?” Fucking idiot. Anyway, I am kind of irritated so I go to the bar, you know, the Four Javelins near the market? Just hoping that there are some mercenaries hanging about. But get this, get this, I FIND TWO PEOPLE THERE! I get a cleric of the Raven Queen who wants info as payment and this cute little half elf who just wants to travel. In the end, one of Borsos kids and I cannot remember if it was Matteo or Stagio, have picked up some creepy sorcerer with blue balls for eyes as well and then they stick us on a hay cart and ship us off to the Malatesta Mansion. Wait… Heheh, blue balls and the Malatesta kids. That’s funny. And shit, the fucking trip there! The guy in jail, y’know, the one I gave his lockpicks back to while he was in jail? I DID mention that, fuck you Marco. Anyway, he tries to fucking run away, so the cleric and I go back to get him. This is where I nearly run out of shit to give about this job… He is hiding in the only tree in the middle of a field. No cover. Just up in a tree. And the branch he is sitting on breaks under him! Anyway, after persuading him that his best option for fucking over Malatesta (and boy did he take that literally) was with sticking with me, we get to the mansion. We grab our gear, get some kip and get sent walking up to the old mines. Cause that is where the shit for brains guards that let shit get stolen have tracked the thieves to. By the gods, what a clusterfest that was. We get there, we kick the Eagle Order brats over the shins and basically fight room to room for an hour. It’s a messy godsdamned bloodbath. In the last fight we get some prisoners and try to get out to take a rest before we kill their boss, some ugly bastard he turned out to be, but we get out and there’s this kid on a horse trying to get away and I shout for crossbows and HOLY CRAP DID THAT WORK! We skewered that damn horse, broke the riders legs and found the thing we needed! They were trying to get the artifact away before we killed them all! Afterwards we kind of looked at each other and went “do we really need to go back there? Nah, let’s just take their shit and leave.” On the way back, I tried to get the prisoners set free, but the blue ball guy and the priest were saying “no, these are slaves that broke the law, they must pay for their crimes blarg blarg blarg.” So, fine we drag the wretches back and get them locked up. Then the ones that aren’t property get to have dinner with the lady of the house (you know, Borsos wife that he does NOT get along with?- it is why you never see her here in Ravenna), and then there is a spontaneous party in the yard! But Miguel got a bit too drunk, if you know what I mean, and more or less let the prisoners go. Poor Miguel. If he wasn’t such an insufferable prick, I would grieve. After the party, I got the crew on the cart and sent us rolling back to Ravenna. Then half an hour later BAM! Ambush! They try to set fire to the cart, they look ready to kill us all and shit do they come close. I think I got blacked out three times that fight. Honestly makes me a little worried about the tournament, now I think about it. Anyway, got the loot home, Borso saves face, and we are back in time for the gladiatorial matches. So! To a good fight! Cheers, you rotten pieces of furniture!