Patron Mishaps

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[["Roll 1d20","Roll Result"],["1","Your Patron, the gumptious familiar, has recently developed extreme overconfidence. It takes daring leaps, challenges larger foes, and performs other foolhardy but \u201cbrave\u201d deeds for the next two weeks."],["2","Your Patron, the smart little scamp, has learned its first word or has learned to mimic a word. Unfortunately, its word of choice is particularly creepy or profane. Your Patron often uses it at the worst possible times."],["3","Your Patron, in all its infinite wisdom, has gotten its head (or another appendage) stuck in something. It might be the boughs of a tree, it might be a box, it may even be the fragile vase that you just recovered from a monster\u2019s horde."],["4","Your Patron, the energetic little tyke, has found a new chew toy that it cannot bear to part with. Unfortunately, it is an important piece of your equipment, such as a boot, the leather strap of your breastplate, or your arcane focus."],["5","You are awoken late at night to a loud clattering and clamoring. Your Patron, bless its soul, has knocked over literally everything in your room or campsite while running around at three in the morning."],["6","Your Patron, the finicky friend, has become a picky eater. For the next week, it only wants to eat one specific type of food prepared in one specific way. It balks at anything else you attempt to feed it, even if it needs it to grow up strong."],["7","Your Patron, ever alert, stares off in the distance every night for the remainder of the current adventure. Even though you can clearly see that it is looking at nothing you cannot shake the feeling that something is there."],["8","Your Patron, thinking itself playful, has taken something incredibly valuable of yours and hidden it. Depending on its species, the hiding place varies. Phoenix Patrons might favor under campfires or in trees, while couatl Patrons might hide things in bushes or burrows."],["9","Your Patron, the spirited devil, has its own recurring nemesis. Unfortunately, it is its own reflection. It attempts to attack mirrored versions of itself in rivers, mirrors, and other reflective surfaces."],["10","You awake at night unable to breathe. Your Patron, the cuddly friend, has decided to rest itself over your mouth and nose. It is sound asleep and you are running out of air."],["11","You wake in the morning to find that your Patron, the sly scoundrel, is nowhere to be found. After searching everywhere, you find it snug and asleep in your closed backpack."],["12","Your Patron runs directly into the next door you approach at full speed. Depending on its size and strength, there is a good chance that it destroys the door."],["13","Your Patron, the playful beast, has developed a new game. The game consists of taking things you love and pushing them off high places. The game can occur anywhere. Such venues include tree stumps, the table at a tavern, or even bottomless chasms! Whatever is nearby will do!"],["14","Your Patron, loyal to the end, has decided that your personal space is irrelevant. Any time you need a moment of privacy, such as when you relieve yourself or during a confession of love, your Patron is sure to follow and make its presence know. Loudly. Repeatedly."],["15","Your Patron, your friend-til-the-end, begins to shout at something much larger and much more dangerous than it. The moment it gains the attention of its target, it promptly runs behind you and graciously allows you deal with the problem."],["16","Your Patron, your lifelong bosom buddy, grows impatient. The next time it wants your attention and you don\u2019t readily give it, regardless of your reason, it gently puts an armed appendage on your face as if to say \u201cListen, buddy.\u201d"],["17","Your Patron, who\u2019s normally so well-behaved, has really taken a liking to an important person you\u2019ve recently met. Unfortunately, your Patron\u2019s advances make the recipient anxious as they have a negative history with those types of creatures. Your Patron does not seem to notice and continues to try to befriend them."],["18","Your Patron, who loves to share, has developed a passion for sharing meals. More specifically, it wants to share your meals. Any time you try to eat, especially if you don\u2019t put your fork directly into your mouth, your Patron attempts to eat your food."],["19","Your Patron, who\u2019s never been like this before, has been causing trouble in town. Its bad behavior has drawn the ire of the locals, who grow increasingly agitated with its behavior and want you to deal with it."],["20","Your Patron, who\u2019s sweet and attached to you, does not want you to leave it alone or head into danger. Any time you attempt to leave it behind or head into a dangerous situation, your Patron attempts to impede you. Whether it bites at your pant leg, blocks the door, or makes an effort to prevent your action in some way."]]

Roll the Dice

Roll 1d20	Roll Result
1	Your Patron, the gumptious familiar, has recently developed extreme overconfidence. It takes daring leaps, challenges larger foes, and performs other foolhardy but “brave” deeds for the next two weeks.
2	Your Patron, the smart little scamp, has learned its first word or has learned to mimic a word. Unfortunately, its word of choice is particularly creepy or profane. Your Patron often uses it at the worst possible times.
3	Your Patron, in all its infinite wisdom, has gotten its head (or another appendage) stuck in something. It might be the boughs of a tree, it might be a box, it may even be the fragile vase that you just recovered from a monster’s horde.
4	Your Patron, the energetic little tyke, has found a new chew toy that it cannot bear to part with. Unfortunately, it is an important piece of your equipment, such as a boot, the leather strap of your breastplate, or your arcane focus.
5	You are awoken late at night to a loud clattering and clamoring. Your Patron, bless its soul, has knocked over literally everything in your room or campsite while running around at three in the morning.
6	Your Patron, the finicky friend, has become a picky eater. For the next week, it only wants to eat one specific type of food prepared in one specific way. It balks at anything else you attempt to feed it, even if it needs it to grow up strong.
7	Your Patron, ever alert, stares off in the distance every night for the remainder of the current adventure. Even though you can clearly see that it is looking at nothing you cannot shake the feeling that something is there.
8	Your Patron, thinking itself playful, has taken something incredibly valuable of yours and hidden it. Depending on its species, the hiding place varies. Phoenix Patrons might favor under campfires or in trees, while couatl Patrons might hide things in bushes or burrows.
9	Your Patron, the spirited devil, has its own recurring nemesis. Unfortunately, it is its own reflection. It attempts to attack mirrored versions of itself in rivers, mirrors, and other reflective surfaces.
10	You awake at night unable to breathe. Your Patron, the cuddly friend, has decided to rest itself over your mouth and nose. It is sound asleep and you are running out of air.
11	You wake in the morning to find that your Patron, the sly scoundrel, is nowhere to be found. After searching everywhere, you find it snug and asleep in your closed backpack.
12	Your Patron runs directly into the next door you approach at full speed. Depending on its size and strength, there is a good chance that it destroys the door.
13	Your Patron, the playful beast, has developed a new game. The game consists of taking things you love and pushing them off high places. The game can occur anywhere. Such venues include tree stumps, the table at a tavern, or even bottomless chasms! Whatever is nearby will do!
14	Your Patron, loyal to the end, has decided that your personal space is irrelevant. Any time you need a moment of privacy, such as when you relieve yourself or during a confession of love, your Patron is sure to follow and make its presence know. Loudly. Repeatedly.
15	Your Patron, your friend-til-the-end, begins to shout at something much larger and much more dangerous than it. The moment it gains the attention of its target, it promptly runs behind you and graciously allows you deal with the problem.
16	Your Patron, your lifelong bosom buddy, grows impatient. The next time it wants your attention and you don’t readily give it, regardless of your reason, it gently puts an armed appendage on your face as if to say “Listen, buddy.”
17	Your Patron, who’s normally so well-behaved, has really taken a liking to an important person you’ve recently met. Unfortunately, your Patron’s advances make the recipient anxious as they have a negative history with those types of creatures. Your Patron does not seem to notice and continues to try to befriend them.
18	Your Patron, who loves to share, has developed a passion for sharing meals. More specifically, it wants to share your meals. Any time you try to eat, especially if you don’t put your fork directly into your mouth, your Patron attempts to eat your food.
19	Your Patron, who’s never been like this before, has been causing trouble in town. Its bad behavior has drawn the ire of the locals, who grow increasingly agitated with its behavior and want you to deal with it.
20	Your Patron, who’s sweet and attached to you, does not want you to leave it alone or head into danger. Any time you attempt to leave it behind or head into a dangerous situation, your Patron attempts to impede you. Whether it bites at your pant leg, blocks the door, or makes an effort to prevent your action in some way.

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Patron Mishaps

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