Book: Electric Sanctuary
Notes
- My books, my page here on WA, everything is supposed to be looked at as if the story is being told by Evelynn (called the Archivist on here).
- My world is basically built on quantum physics, without being directly stated. If people who are familiar with quantum physics were to poke around, they'd (hopefully) be able to deduce what mechanic applies where in Eivrall.
- Similarly, it's also based on real-word astrophysics.
- What I've done is that quantum physics and dark energy/matter are pretty much the same thing.
- Ultimately, quantum physics = magic. (This is the big one)
- The creation story of eivrall is based on the article I mentioned had the biggest impact on me, as well as the actual Big Bang. I just applied the idea of quantum (dark) energy to it. Similarly, the intro to my article about magic ties into the whole thing:
- Evelynn's mother was killed by Julius for one of his jobs. She finds out after they had already committed to traveling/working together, and she doesn't really have the option to not work with him. It causes them to have a horrible companionship.
- After some time and some life-or-death situations to kind of force them to get closer, she 'forgives' him. At least, she understands that it was a job.
- Shortly after her mother was killed, her father abandoned her, forcing her to grow up somewhere rough. I planned on it being foster care, but that seems a bit cliché to me. Idk yet. He left to find whoever killed her mom.
- Somehow, some way, I plan for Evelynn's father to be like a leader of a secret Shatari military unit, or a sect or something. It exists for the sole purpose of preparing the world for Selfishness.
- Whether he was a part of it before or after Eve's mom's death doesn't really matter, but he will have been searching for her killer this whole time.
- At some point at the beginning of the war in Synead, Evelynn's dad and his unit show up to help. First time she's seen him since he left her as a kid. At this point, Evelynn's exhausted and been through so many personal changes, that she's happy, not even really upset at him.
- Sar'ach was called Selfishness on the Shatari home planet. When the Shatar tried to rid the universe of Selfishness, hoping to ascend, it was too powerful when it manifested, and they were unable to kill it. When they refused to cater to its demands and tried to kill it, it became enraged and started destroying their world. Its power warped everything, including their DNA, causing them to develop their hereditary traits such as horns and tails. (Devilish = Selfishness?)
- They had long had a saying for Selfishness, even prior to their attempt to eradicate it: "You have a Devil on your shoulder" (in their home language). None of them knew what the word Devil meant, but it was a saying as far back as they could trace.
- At the end, when witnessing Selfishness destroy the world, Evelynn mumbled the saying and her father looked at her. "We've had that saying among us since before we even came to this planet. No one knows what 'Devil-'
- "Devil means. I know... That's because it hasn't been invented yet." (visions = her writing the saying in the future [our present]?)
- They had long had a saying for Selfishness, even prior to their attempt to eradicate it: "You have a Devil on your shoulder" (in their home language). None of them knew what the word Devil meant, but it was a saying as far back as they could trace.
- We have been repeating this same cycle throughout numerous worlds (Shatari were just a previous iteration?), which is why the word 'Devil', which hadn't been invented yet, has existed for who knows how long. It's Deja vu, or memories/visions from the cycle (6 total cycles? = Universe Chronology)
- There are no more cycles though. To save ourselves from our own Selfishness, we had to give up our magic. Everything must exist dually; one cannot have one without the other. So, our energy had to cancel out our own energy (Magic to Selfishness). Harnessing it to eradicate Selfishness, Xoxtris rid the ability to produce it (us, as we were the product of his Breath- he didn't create more after that, it was generated through our lives). Since one cannot create energy from nothing without magic, no more can be/has been generated, which heralded the sixth and final era of our Universe, in which everything disconnects and speeds irreversibly away from each other, and everything starts to die off.
- If we are to ever ascend, this is our last chance. We don't get another repeat, and even if we were to manage to not destroy ourselves again, we are still hurtling towards an end in which we will have to answer for our actions.
- Data stream = Selfishness? (universal)
- Arcanix aren't as affected by Selfishness as others since they're used to hearing Xoxtris in the quantum realm?
- Xoxtris (in reference to Lukius' desire to find a cure for the 'illness' some people have in not being able to control their magic): “They didn't need to be 'fixed'; they weren't ill… They were literally bursting with life.”
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[Insert convo with Xoxtris]
Xoxtris: “They didn't need to be 'fixed'; they weren't ill… They were literally bursting with life.”
Julius: "Then what does that make people like me?" (Arcanix, those who were born without magic)
Xoxtris, staring at him: "Duality in all things. Remember that. One can't survive without the other"
Julius: "Survive? It literally makes me Death!"
Xoxtris: "The opposite of Life is not Death, like you guys are inclined to believe. Death is not the end, remember? Life is the journey, the action to achieve fulfillment, so when living is done, the opposite of Life is Stillness, Oneness."
Julius: "And yet you wonder why people don't seek ascension..."
Xoxtris: *sigh* "If I have to explain it, it defeats the purpose. You can only become enlightened by the journey, not the result. You must discover why ascension and enlightenment are important for yourselves."
Julius, staring quizzically at Xoxtris: "You don't act like some Supreme God... I would have figured frustration and impatience were beneath you, or you beyond it, whatever."
Xoxtris, returning the confused stare: "Why would I not experience the 'negative emotions' like mortals do? As you all like to say, from Me came everything. Everything I created is loved and cherished. I do not favor one or the other, both are me, and from me. Duality is more than just accepting you must live with something unpreferable. Duality happens when you recognize you need it and love the pain as much as the joy."
Julius: "It amazes me that anyone has ascended, with those standards."
Xoxtris chuckles.
Julius: "So, if you're not supposed to explain all this to me, to mortals, then why are you?"
Xoxtris' expression turns sad: "You know why. Ascension doesn't take your planar body with you because it can't hold up under the energy. After having me inside you..."
Julius: "I'll break." Julius felt a lump in the back of his throat, something he couldn't remember experiencing when facing death, the countless times before.
Xoxtris gave a melancholy smile. "You haven't asked the one question you've spent your whole life wanting to ask."
Julius cleared his throat and grimaced. "That's kind of creepy, even if you are the Omniarch. Well? How 'bout it, then? Why have I heard your voice every time I pass through the Gates? The real reason, not the scientific one."
Xoxtris: "The real reason is the scientific one. It's because you are the opposite of Life. You are Stillness. Ascending is about become One again and returning home. Because you already represent Oneness, you can 'hear' me better than those who haven't."
Julius: "Are you telling me that I've ascended, and that all of the pain, the torture, the suffering, the death, has been part of it? Because if that's the case, then I want no part of the group hug! Besides, I highly doubt someone who has committed as many atrocities as I have could figure out how, let alone achieve it."
Xoxtris cocked his head to the side, completely puzzled. "But you already have?"
Julius stumbled, quickly correcting his footing. "Excuse me, what?"
Xoxtris: "'You'll know how to come back home once you've learned everything there is to learn and felt everything there is to feel'", Xoxtris quoted. "You have felt everything, yes, including the torture and starvation. You wanted to find me, and you knew where to look. Am I not 'home'?"
Julius was stunned, unable to find the words to argue. "Yes, but I haven't learned everything there is to learn- I didn't go to school; I couldn't tell you how the Kaxlese ripped the Aecax Plateau into the sky, let alone how to ascend.
Xoxtris: "Education is not the same things as wisdom. Your life experiences taught you lessons, not some textbook. Your mind did the computing in how to take that knowledge and shape it, change it, embrace it, or otherwise implement it somehow. Humanity is in its 6th cycle- that is, they've repeated the same mistakes 6 times and have yet to learn from any of them, as evidenced by the current situation. At each of these cycles, the slate was wiped clean, knowledge was reset, and even the earliest humans ascended when it was their time. Do you think learning the science behind setting a fire, or how to operate Gates, existed then? I assure you, it did not."
-
Lukius' backstory
- Some people are born with trouble controlling their magic, like a mental illness:
- Seen as a stigma.
- Not enough centers/resources to truly address the issue.
- Lukius develops the technology at CD to help suppress his own out of control magic.
- Starts developing anti-magic tech to help, but stakeholders quickly leap at the opportunity to use it for profit.
- Some purposely leak the news to sources, making it go viral and causing many of the contractors with CD to demand PALADIN fleets be fitted with them, putting Lukius in a rough spot.
- He tries to shrug it off but becomes more obsessed with developing a 'cure' or treatment for the illness, as his starts to grow more and more out of control.
- Hires Iethre to contract an Arcanix (Julius) to try to break into Gateworks and steal some of the Kaxlese' secret knowledge.
- Iethre is the CEO of the espionage company Vinebit, which is a subsidiary of Tempest, the big mercenary company.
- He's quite an odd duck compared to other Nerthach (dark elves). He doesn't have the serious demeanor the others do; he smiles quite often, albeit hawkishly and mischievously, and he fancies riddles. He's always using them.
- His nickname is “Spider” because he keeps tabs on everything going on in the world. Julius refers to it as “spinning his web”, which is how he got the nickname.
- Iethre is sort of like Julius' boss, but not quite. Nerthach are the experts of assassination and espionage, so Vinebit and Tempest are Nerthachian companies. But Julius is so good that he sort of acts like an independent contractor and floats between the two companies.
- Julius is Iethre's best friend, despite their work relation. They have history (whatever it is), and Iethre respects the hell out of Julius. Evelynn will become close to him, too.
- Acquires some blueprints for next-generation progeny that hadn't been accepted by their community yet because of possible dangers.
- Studies the blueprints, learns how they use certain items, starts to create Alezandr, his ultimate PALADIN.
About Iethre & Julius - The Black Hand reverse engineers his anti-magic projectiles to overload someone with numen rather than take it away.
- Thinking Lukius designed them to target casters, they send an assassin after him who hits him with the reversed projectile, causing his numen levels to hyper-fluctuate and causes him to 'explode' with energy, almost destroying his body.
- He calls a still-immature Alezandr to carry him inside to his underground bomb shelter and tells him to patch him up.
- Alezandr doubts himself, since he has more emotions and worries for this man who has taken good care of him and been patient, and because he has never been taught how to filter out the 'data stream'.
- He's afraid of messing up.
- On impulse, he begs Lukius to take his body.
- Lukius is stunned, even as he's dying.
- He didn't know that was possible.
- Alezandr tells him it is, at least he thinks.
- He hears it and thinks he knows how to do it, but it might hurt Lukius because he will hear the data as well. Tells him to open his mind to him.
- Lukius must trust him, he can't even doubt for one sec, or block him out at all for it to be successful and not possibly kill them.
- Lukius agrees (cause dying anyways) and Alezandr proceeds.
- Spends the next couple weeks learning to live with his new body, and the fact that the transfer was botched -- Both their consciousnesses are now hosted within a single body.
- Starts 'repairing' his own body, using modifications to make him look like himself again (Lukius' body)
- After a couple weeks, he is completely healed, physically.
- He underwent all procedures without any anesthesia and performed them himself.
- Alezandr tries to help him cope with the data stream, but he struggled with it greatly himself, even prior.
- He starts to grow more and more despondent as his guilt starts to eat him through-- Lukius starts spiraling mentally, and Alezandr doesn't know how to help him.
- Alezandr goes 'dormant', Lukius isn't even aware that the 'conversations' he's having aren't with him, but with the data stream.
- Goes back out in the world after 2 weeks, faced with shocked people.
- First thing he does is implement a ban of the dark arts to counter the order that targeted him.
- Not out of revenge = Lukius is quite pleased with his new body, even despite the traumatic experience of bleeding out.
- He does it because the reversed projectiles pose a threat to an already struggling group - and anyone around them, should they get shot with the bullets.
- A 'corporate war' ensues, as well as hatred from a large portion of the planet due to the 'unbalancing' of the scales.
- He also gains a following of ignorant bigots who just want to oppress a marginalized group (same stuff as real world).
- As he's targeted relentlessly, his company is pretty much on high alert at all times, PALADIN fleets in Meshev increase to protect against any possible attacks from the order, things get dictatorial really quick, with Lukius just wanting to protect other afflicted people.
- Starts brainstorming more effective anti-magic armaments, data stream slips in, starts mixing with his own creative juices, and he realizes that even though he is now in a completely artificial body, the influx of numen and the subsequent explosion had infused him with so much that it had 'transferred' into Alezandr's body along with him, and he was capable of magic still (albeit differently than before).
- One thought leads to another, and he starts 'experimenting' on people to see if he can manipulate the same level of 'magic' Alezandr had during the mind transfer.
- Learns how to enslave people's consciousness.
- Mind is torn between glee (from data stream) at the possibilities (and conquest/profit) of the ability, and an actual desire to not hurt people, but can't block the data out.
- Has a sudden 'epiphany' to use the ability to help those afflicted with Rampant Numen Fluctuations: he'll transfer their minds over to a safe place/server/etc.(?)
- "No, no, no, I'm not killing them, you see. They' work the same way as the data stream; we can all talk to each other, no matter where we are. We'll never be lonely, scared, hurt, or confused again! I'm SAVING them when no one else gives them a second thought!"
- As opposition builds against him, his desperation leads to vulnerability to being 'influenced' by thoughts from the data stream.
- Discovers _____________? and needs to obtain large amounts of nyerringite, pursues Synead.
- Conflict and war ravage the land, awakening Sar'ach.
- The real struggle begins.
- Eventually, Lukius faces Sar'ach.
- It makes some demands, he, in a moment of clarity, refuses, and Sar'ach is outraged (had been grooming him exactly for this, so especially mad)
- Begins to torture him, and since he's artificial and contains nanobots in his system, he can be endlessly tortured.
- Everyone else involved in the war is forced to listen to his screaming for days on end, nonstop.
- Eventually Alezandr is forced through, and they alternate in being tortured.
- Witnessing it traumatizes everyone around them, especially when Alezandr, in his youthful voice and not fully developed mindset, begins begging Sar'ach to spare Lukius, that he'll take his place.
- He screams out that Lukius is not a bad person and truly doesn't mean or want to hurt anyone and is spurred to action from a place of caring.
- I had some other things here that wouldn't work now that I've made some other modifications, but it was related to the rest of the world getting involved and tried to point out just how selfish everyone was being. I'll need to figure something else out now.
- Eventually, the warfront is the main command, with leaders/decision makers/main actors from all nations present to try to figure out an end to the madness.
- Cue Julius, his trip to the quantum realm, the pleading with Xoxtris, and the rest.
Prose for Lukius' backstory (first part):
- Some people are born with trouble controlling their magic, like a mental illness:
-
[Insert convo with Xoxtris]
- At the end, while Xoxtris is inside Julius, after he banishes Selfishness, Evelynn's dad sneaks up behind Julius and stabs him (out of revenge for killing her mom).
- Evelynn runs over to him, holding him. He looks up at her, a mix of both Xoxtris and Julius. She asks who he is, meaning whether he was Julius or Xoxtris. But he burrows his brow, thinking, then looks back up at her, realization in his eyes. “We are Xoxtris.” He replies. Dies.
- Evelynn is heartbroken, and as she's holding him, watching the last traces of Xoxtris' divinity as well as his life leaving him, the Erunit come down with their Ice Age. She's frozen that way.
- I haven't settled the details yet, but a friend of mine on here proposed a world crossover collaboration with me and I liked the idea, so I agreed.
- Here is a brief summary of the ideas that popped into my head when I was thinking about it:
- When Eve was frozen while Julius was dying, she will remember the event as if it just happened, along with the trauma from the war and the lingering effects of the madness.
- When she thaws, there will be leftover quantum particulates in the air around her. In addition, her cybernetics somehow preserved some of her power, in a twist to how they've prevented the flow of magic throughout the whole book (I would need to work out the details).
- When thawed, she will snap, and she will have had just enough power that coincides with a summoning ritual happening in my friend's world (they already wrote the prose of her arriving in their world, a while back).
- She is pulled into their world, which could work because Eivrall is based on quantum physics, and quantum physics has the Multiple Worlds Theory(?).
- His world has cross-dimensional portals, so after she takes time to recuperate and is healed, she takes one back to our present-day.
- When here, she sees the same signs of Eivrall's downfall and sets out on her mission to spread the story (which is the book).
Plot points/Scenes
| PLOT POINT | DESCRIPTION |
|---|---|
| HOOK | A scene that grabs the reader's attention. |
| ORDINARY WORLD 1 | Show MC's normal world before changes. Show MC in a characteristic moment, get to know hero and sympathize. |
| INCITING INCIDENT / CALL TO ACTION | Something changes, MC is asked to confront change and go on a journey. |
| REFUSAL OF THE CALL | MC is reluctant to join the journey. |
| CONVINCING / COMMITMENT | MC is convinced or changes own mind, agrees to go on the journey. |
| ORDINARY WORLD 2 | Continuation of the Ordinary World (1). |
| TURNING POINT 1 (POINT OF NO RETURN) |
Point of No Return #1. After this moment, there is no going back. The adventure begins. |
| EXPOSITION 1 | Lots of fumbling around in the new world. (Remember, no backstory before Ch. 4!) |
| PINCH POINT 1 | Antagonist displays their power, clearly a threat. |
| EXPOSITION 2 | More fumbling, but MC is starting to get ideas. |
| MIDPOINT | MC makes the decision to stop reacting. Mirror moment personal insight. |
| APPROACH BEGINS | Begin barreling toward Climax (17-20). MC acts instead of reacts. Get final pieces in play for climax. |
| PINCH POINT 2 | All hell breaks loose. Antagonist displays power again. |
| APPROACH CONTINUES | Run headlong into the climax. Subplots start to tie off. |
| TURNING POINT 2 (POINT OF NO RETURN) |
Point of No Return #2, the climax is inevitable now. Major clash with antagonist. Upheaval of gains from Expositions (8 & 10). |
| LAST CHANCE | MC's last opportunity to get it together before the Climax (17-20). |
| ANTAGONIST'S FALSE WIN | Looks like the Antagonist is going to steal the day! |
| DARK MOMENT / DOUBT | MC is so distraught by False Win (17) that they spiral into despair. |
| HERO'S REVELATION / SACRIFICE | Act upon the darkest fear to defeat the Antagonist. |
| WIN / RESURRECTION | MC must face their darkest fear which has been holding them back. |
| DENOUEMENT | Resolution. Reward. Implications about the future. |
Themes
- Technology and Morality: The plot explores the ethical implications of advanced technology, including the use of artificial intelligence and the manipulation of lifeforce. It raises questions about the moral responsibility of individuals and corporations when harnessing and controlling technology.
- Power and Corruption: The theme of power and corruption is evident through the character of Lukius and his manipulation of Crux Dynamico for his own sinister agenda. It delves into the consequences of unchecked power and the abuse of authority.
- Sacrifice and Redemption: The theme of sacrifice is present in various aspects, such as Evelynn's decision to put herself in danger to expose the truth and protect others, and the sacrifice of the other magical races to save their world. Julius' ultimate sacrifice, offering his body for Xoxtris, becomes the catalyst for the redemption and salvation of the world. It explores the idea of selflessness and redemption through acts of sacrifice.
- Identity and Self-Discovery: The journey of the protagonist, Evelynn, is intertwined with the theme of identity and self-discovery. As she uncovers the dark secrets of Crux Dynamico and confronts Lukius, Evelynn is forced to question her own values and make difficult choices. Her personal growth and self-discovery play a significant role in her ability to face the challenges ahead and determine her true purpose.
- Loss and Resilience: Loss and resilience are explored throughout the plot, as characters experience personal tragedies and face the devastating consequences of war, including the death of Sjana. The ability to endure and find strength in the face of immense loss becomes a recurring theme, highlighting the resilience and determination of the human spirit.
- The Power of Unity: The theme of unity highlights the strength that can be found in collective action. As the war in Synead escalates, various races and individuals join forces to resist Crux Dynamico's tyranny. The collaboration and unity among different factions emphasize the power of solidarity and the ability to overcome adversity when united.
- Moral Ambiguity: The exploration of moral ambiguity and the absence of clear black-and-white distinctions presents a world and characters who operate in a morally gray area, making questionable decisions and challenging traditional notions of right and wrong. This theme highlights the complexity of human nature and raises thought-provoking questions about morality and the consequences of actions.
Structure
Exposition
Hook: Crime had been drastically reduced by Meshev's robotic police fleets known as PALADINs , and humanity has become complacent and ignorant of the tension that lay beneath the body glitter and modified appearances. The inhabitants of this nation could freely roam their cities without too much worry of danger, yet corruption and indifference fueled a palpable tension that nobody was willing to address.
Ordinary World 1: Meshev is a human nation in a futuristic world consisting of many automated or technologically modified systems. Originally, it was a place that utilized magic, as many people were born with innate powers. As more technological advancements reduced the need for magic, the planet of Eivrall continued to respect the duality of Xoxtris, the Primordial Deity of Darkness, by embracing both magic and technology as equals.
Evelynn Azaertyse is a cybernetic linguist at Crux Dynamico, a conglomerate responsible for most of the nation's robotic personnel and mechanical augmentations. Specifically, she is responsible for programming fleets of PALADINs to replace human police forces. Evelynn is meticulous in her work and refuses to take shortcuts or break any workplace rules or laws. She possesses an expertise in this field that surpasses all her colleagues and follows protocols to a fault. To her, everything must be done exactly according to code and law.
At a young age, Evelynn Azaertyse was forced to navigate life on her own after the brutal murder of her mother and the mysterious disappearance of her father. Despite growing up in one of Meshev's roughest neighborhoods, she used her tenacity and intellect to rise above her circumstances.
Conflict
Inciting Incident/Call to Action: While Evelynn was working on the most recent update for the PALADINs, she discovered an anomaly in their code. Running tests on the fleet's automation and actions, she found some odd and disturbing behaviors. In simulations, the fleet seemed to be targeting specific bystanders in addition to the criminal activities they were supposed to be monitoring. Attempting to rewrite the code for these occurrences proved futile, as there appeared to be an encrypted backdoor that Evelynn could not overwrite.
Worried about the impact this would have on the fleet's actions while on duty, she brought it to the attention of her CEO, Lukius Rischer. Despite presenting proof, documentation, and performing a simulation for her boss, her concerns were disregarded. Her boss even ridiculed her for attempting to alter the code. Her coworkers joined in, and her concerns were completely disregarded.
Refusal of the Call [could show Evelynn's initial reluctance to go public with her findings about the PALADIN code anomalies. She may fear retaliation or not want to damage her career. A scene exploring her hesitations could help motivate the next plot point.]
[Upon discovering the anomalies in the PALADIN code, Evelynn is initially reluctant to publicly expose her findings. As an upstanding employee dedicated to protocol, she fears retaliation from Crux Dynamico that could damage her career and reputation. However, her sense of duty to protect civilians outweighs these concerns. I'll write a scene showing her mental debate between obligation and self-preservation as she struggles with this choice.]
Convincing/Commitment: Evelynn was unsatisfied and continued to investigate. She discovered that Lukius had been secretly altering the PALADIN program code, something she was unable to decipher for the first time in her life. The more she investigated, the more she realized that her boss was up to something nefarious.
Unable to consider going to work without informing someone else of her findings, Evelynn turned to the media. She only discovered that Crux Dynamico had been manipulating press coverage.
Ordinary World 2: The government of Meshev has passed a law banning the use, practice, and organization of the dark arts on the grounds that they contribute to criminal activity. This has caused an intentional imbalance between magic and technology in favor of the latter, dissolving covens and schools for the dark arts.
Evelynn, a prodigy in the dark art of hemomancy, is feeling the pressure of this new law. She doesn't use her powers frequently but is concerned because this is the first time an intentional imbalance of this magnitude has agitated the planet. She believes that the law is unjust, as people are being punished for something that is an inherent part of their being.
Rising Action
Turning Point 1 (Point of No Return): Evelynn knows she needs to do something when the fleet, deployed for duty, targets innocent bystanders or civilians who aren't committing crimes. This reaches a climax when she witnesses a PALADIN unit killing someone, but the media does not report it.
She attempts to address these concerns by infiltrating the headquarters of Crux Dynamico after hours and using her corporate rank to gain further information. She discovers that Lukius is up to something far eviler, and that he has been using the PALADINs to kidnap people and using Crux Dynamico to hide his criminal activity for years.
Horrified by what she has uncovered, Evelynn is determined to stop Lukius. Her affinity for technology allows her to hack the laboratories of the classified development levels, where she witnesses Lukius casting a spell on a begging captive, which converts their lifeforce into a string of code, enslaving them for as long as the code exists.
Evelynn knows she can't let Lukius get away with this, but when her hack is detected, she is forced into hiding, becoming Crux Dynamico's Public Enemy Number One. Miserable, she must decide whether to try and stop Lukius or flee and betray her own values.
Exposition 1: Evelynn is now a wanted woman. Her face is plastered throughout the country with instructions to bring her to justice, dead or alive. She knows that she has two options: she could fight, risking her life to attempt to bring down the company that is after her, or she could hide out and try to wait out the consequences.
She goes to her best friend Sjana's house looking for advice on what she should do. Sjana advises Evelynn to seek out spymaster Iethre Birinzen, a nerthachian on Abatesh Island, and puts her in touch with his right-hand man: Julius Fel, a half-Viampaal and tormented mercenary.
Climax
Pinch Point 1: While trying to find a safe place to hide without endangering her friends or family, Evelynn is suddenly attacked by a PALADIN. During the struggle, she uses her skills as a cybernetic linguist to obtain information about the code within the unit. She discovers that the AI contained within the system has the same frequency as the person she had seen Lukius turn into code.
Upon examining the unit, she discovers that it contains the same backdoor command that had been programmed into the fleet of PALADINs she had previously worked on. This command corrupted any remaining humanity in the life force code, reducing it to nothing more than a puppet.
Evelynn realizes that the code in the now destroyed PALADIN unit has the same technological frequencies as numen.
Exposition 2 [After going into hiding with Sjana's help, Evelynn works to understand the full scope of Lukius' schemes. Sjana assists by supplying intelligence on Crux Dynamico's shady deals uncovered in her journalistic investigations. As Evelynn pores over documents and notes, piecing together clues, she begins to comprehend how Lukius has been manipulating the government and public for profit through fear and illusion of safety. This gathering of intel and evidence will further catalyze her resolve to confront Lukius.]
Midpoint [Witnessing Lukius enslave a victim through forced lifeforce conversion is profoundly shocking to Evelynn. But in her horror, she finds clarity - this evil cannot be allowed to continue. A dialogue with Sjana crystallizes Evelynn's realization that passively enduring injustice through fear is no longer an option. To respect her own values and give meaning to the sacrifices already made, she must take action instead of reaction. This pivotal scene shifts Evelynn from a reluctant witness to an active participant committed to resolving the crisis on her terms.]
Approach Begins: Evelynn sets out for Abatesh Island, led by Julius. During their journey, a bitter truth is revealed - Julius was the one who killed Evelynn's mother for one of his past assignments. This confession shatters Evelynn, significantly straining their relationship and complicating their partnership. The revelation casts a dark shadow over their journey, their conversations laced with tension and distrust, creating a volatile companionship. However, they both realize they have no other choice but to continue working together.
She meets Iethre, who is already aware of Crux Dynamico's ambitious plans and how far they intend to go. The root of the problem is Lukius' condition, Rampant Numen Fluctuations, a disorder that will eventually lead to his death. This disorder causes individuals with magical abilities to lose control of their powers and slowly disintegrate them from the inside out unless they are kept in check by magic dampeners.
Lukius had sought Vinebit's services in the past, hiring Julius to breach Sevangesia's security and steal intelligence in a desperate last-ditch attempt to find a cure for Rampant Numen Fluctuations. Because of his lack of magic, Julius was uniquely suited to breach Gateworks' security and steal documents on the Kaxlese' research. The documents included blueprints for a next-generation Kaxlese progeny design that Lukius used to create Alezandr, his new sentient PALADIN, as well as conceptual designs that allowed him to combine the most advanced technology with magic and create artificial numen—which proves to be far more dangerous than innate magic.
Additionally, Iethre reveals that Lukius intends to invade Synead, which is home to the Edhelleri.
Pinch Point 2: As the war in Synead begins, the resistance suffers massive losses. Iethre, Evelynn, and their group are heading to the home of the desert elves to provide whatever aid they can. Lukius is attempting to gain access to the desert's large supply of nyerringite, a mineral that can sustain magic almost indefinitely when used with technology, provided it is properly refined.
The battle intensifies in terms of destruction and chaos as Lukius's PALADINs decimate everything they encounter. Although other countries are starting to rally to Synead's aid, nothing they attempt seems to have any effect against the might of Crux Dynamico.
Falling Action
Approach Continues: Amid the turmoil and pressing dangers they face in their mission, Evelynn and Julius find themselves thrust into situations forcing them to rely on each other. Their shared dangers and the growing understanding of each other's predicaments pave the way towards a begrudging respect. Grudgingly, Evelynn begins to comprehend the dichotomy of Julius' nature - an assassin bound by his work, yet seemingly remorseful of his past actions.
Through these dangerous trials, Evelynn ultimately reaches a painful understanding; she acknowledges that Julius had been contracted for the job that led to her mother's death, viewing it from his perspective. Though her heart still bears the bruises of this revelation, she must put those aside, at least for the time being.
Her kind of 'forgiveness' is more of an acceptance based on her understanding of his past and the circumstances under which he committed the act. It's a difficult step for her, acknowledging that the man who ended her mother's life is the same one she needs to trust for their mission's success. This uneasy truce brings a tenuous peace between them, marking a critical point in their fraught relationship.
Turning Point 2 (Point of No Return): The war had been continuing for months, and the devastation had reached several other countries. Beneath the sands of Synead, a large beast appeared, as if it had been sleeping in the depths of the earth. Just as hope begins to dwindle, a battalion of skilled fighters from an elusive Shatari military unit emerges, offering much-needed reinforcement. To Evelynn's bewilderment, leading this unit is her long-lost father, a man she thought had abandoned her years ago. The shock and emotional turmoil make her reel, but the relentless demands of the raging war offer no room for introspection. She has to continue in her mission, fighting alongside a man she struggles to recognize as her father.
The Shatar recognize the creature as Sar'ach, a monster born from their dark world that had destroyed their home planet. The creature attacked recklessly, killing Crux Dynamico and resistance fighters alike. People started to lay down their weapons and pray, hoping to reach the gods who had abandoned them. They were unable to hear any response.
Last Chance [This could be where Evelynn's reunion is officially established/recognized/addressed and maybe some insights about Sar'ach.]
[Sar'ach was called Selfishness on the Shatari home planet. When the Shatar tried to rid the universe of Selfishness, hoping to ascend, it was too powerful when it manifested, and they were unable to kill it. When they refused to cater to its demands and tried to kill it, it became enraged and started destroying their world. Its power warped everything, including their DNA, causing them to develop their hereditary traits such as horns and tails.]
[Exposition- We have been repeating this same cycle throughout numerous worlds Shatari were just a previous iteration of humanity. 6 total cycles = 6 eras in Universe Chronology https//bigthink.com/starts-with-a-bang/universe-final-era/ If we are to ever ascend, this is our last chance. We don't get another repeat, and even if we were to manage to not destroy ourselves again, we are still hurtling towards an end in which we will have to answer for our actions.]
Antagonist's False Win: The war takes a devastating toll on everyone involved. Lukius, the former antagonist, becomes a victim of the beast's torturous rampage. Because of his auto-healing body modifications, he is unable to escape the torment, which leaves him in a state of perpetual suffering. The haunting screams of Lukius, combined with the horrors of the war, start to break the minds of both enemy and ally. The psychological trauma becomes unbearable, leading some individuals to commit suicide, while others descend into madness. The realization dawns upon them that they are responsible for their own plight.
Dark Moment/Doubt: Amidst the chaos, Evelynn experiences a personal tragedy when her best friend and charismatic media mage, Sjana, is tragically sniped from a distance. The loss strikes Evelynn with panic, knowing that demoralization among the troops could be catastrophic, especially on the eve of a crucial battle against Sar'ach. Overwhelmed by grief, Evelynn looks around and witnesses the despair etched on the faces of her comrades, who turn to her for guidance in this devastating moment.
In a heart-wrenching realization, Evelynn understands that the fate of the people rests squarely on her shoulders. Suppressing her tears, she summons her inner strength and delivers a powerful speech, becoming a symbol of hope and resilience. Her unwavering determination inspires others to continue the fight, despite their losses. Julius, who shares a deep bond with Evelynn and mourns the loss of Sjana, feels a surge of emotion welling up within him. Although he conceals it from others, witnessing Evelynn's resolve ignites a fire within him.
Hero's Revelation/Sacrifice: Motivated to make a difference and protect those he cares about Julius embarks on a perilous journey to find Xoxtris. Despite his previous aversion to Gates due to the voices he hears during transport, Julius takes a chance and enters a Gate without a nyerringite stone. He finds himself face-to-face with Xoxtris, a literal god. The overwhelming presence of Xoxtris threatens to drive Julius mad, but the god manages to hold off the encroaching madness temporarily. Julius explains the dire situation and seeks Xoxtris' assistance.
Xoxtris agrees to help, but they insist on maintaining the balance—they cannot give without taking away. To save their planet, the world must sacrifice their gift to them: magic. Julius confers with the people, and all races except humankind become gloomy. The humans are baffled as to why, but they feel it is because magic is a sacred gift, and they are spiritual beings. After some deliberation, the other races agree, and Julius returns to Xoxtris. They ask if he is sure, and Julius says yes. Xoxtris then asks if they can use Julius' body, and he agrees.
Resolution
Win/Resurrection: Xoxtris collects the numen from all the planet's inhabitants and uses it to destroy the beast. As the numen is pulled from the other races, they all begin to die, as they were largely magical beings. Their lives depended on it. However, humanity's levels of numen were low enough that most of them would survive. Yet, they still began to go insane. This started with Julius, who rapidly went mad due to having a God inside him and being exposed to the realm between Gates.
[There are no more cycles. To save ourselves from our own Selfishness, we had to give up our magic. Everything must exist dually one cannot have one without the other. So, our energy had to cancel out our own energy Magic to Selfishness. Harnessing it to eradicate Selfishness, Xoxtris rid the ability to produce it us, as we were the product of his Breath- he didn't create more after that, it was generated through our lives. Since one cannot create energy from nothing without magic, no more can be/has been generated, which heralded the sixth and final era of our Universe, in which everything disconnects and speeds irreversibly away from each other, and everything starts to die off.]
Denouement:As humanity descends into self-destruction, Evelynn's father takes advantage of the distraction and stabs Julius out of revenge for his wife. Evelynn rushes over to the collapsing Julius. He looks up at her, his expression an unsettling mix of both Xoxtris and Julius. Following a tense moment of silence, he responds to her questioning gaze. Realization dawning in his eyes, he clarifies, "We are Xoxtris." Evelynn, struck with profound grief, witnesses the last lingering traces of Xoxtris' divinity, as well as Julius's life, leaving him.
As she continues to hold him, the Erunit, as world keepers, descend from their icy realm of Yudhelm and blanket the globe in an Ice Age, freezing everything, including humans, to repair their minds. Evelynn is frozen in this state of despair, clutching Julius' body. As humanity goes into their freezing slumber, a voice can be heard promising them that they will live, but that they will be reset, with no memory of anything, even language. Since the Erunit are unable to remain in this land due to the lack of numen, they depart. This becomes their final act on Eivrall, and as a result, the name and history of Eivrall are stripped away.
Components
Goals
- Evelynn's goal is to stop Lukius and prevent his criminal activities.
- Evelynn aims to bring down Crux Dynamico and expose their hidden agenda.
- The resistance's goal is to defend Synead and protect its people from Lukius's invasion.
- Julius embarks on a quest to find Xoxtris and seek assistance to save their world.
Hooks
- Evelynn infiltrating Crux Dynamico's headquarters to uncover Lukius's evil plans.
- Discovering Lukius's use of PALADINs to kidnap people and hide criminal activities.
- Witnessing Lukius's conversion of lifeforce into code and enslaving captives.
- The attack on Evelynn by a PALADIN revealing the backdoor command and connection to mana.
- Sjana advising Evelynn to seek out spymaster Iethre and Julius as a guide.
Stakes
- Evelynn becoming wanted by Crux Dynamico and being hunted.
- Lukius's plan to invade Synead and unleash destruction.
- The war in Synead causing massive losses and devastation.
- The threat of Sar'ach, bringing destruction to both sides.
- Humanity's descent into self-destruction and madness.
Moral Quandaries
- Evelynn deciding whether to fight and risk her life or flee.
- The sacrifice of magic to Xoxtris in order to save their planet, with only humans surviving.
- Julius struggling with the madness caused by having Xoxtris inside him and exposure to the realm between gates.
Cruel Tricks
- The revelation of Lukius' actions and the missing people in Meshev.
- The loss of Sjana, Evelynn's best friend, and the demoralization it brings.
- The psychological trauma and devastating toll of the war on both allies and enemies.
Relations
Protagonists
Allies
- Sjana Rirgov
- Iethre Birinzen
- United Tribes of Synead
Neutrals/Bystanders
- Primedia
Competitors
- Other resistance groups: Organizations/groups fighting against Crux Dynamico and competing with Evelynn's group for resources, influence, or the upper hand in the conflict at the beginning of the War.
Adversaries
- Lukius Rischer and Crux Dynamico
- PALADINs
- Sar'ach
Backdrops
Locations
- Meshev
- Crux Dynamico HQ
- Abatesh Island
- Synead
Threats
- Lukius' manipulations
- PALADINs
- The War of Mad Minds
- Sar'ach
- The descent into insanity
Encounters
- Investigation: Evelynn's initial investigation of the strange behavior and code in the PALADINs. Evelynn infiltrating Crux Dynamico's headquarters and uncovering Lukius' criminal activities, witnessing the conversion of life force into code and enslavement.
- Combat/Engagement: Evelynn's run-ins with the PALADINs. The battles between the resistance and Lukius' PALADINs in Synead, with massive destruction and chaos.
- Discussion/Interaction: Evelynn and Julius discussing their next course of action, strategizing to confront Lukius and save the world.
- Meeting/Introduction with cast: Evelynn meeting Iethre, the spymaster, on Abatesh Island, who provides valuable information about Lukius and the disorder he suffers from. Evelynn meeting Julius, the right-hand man of Iethre.
- Travel/Exploration: Evelynn and Julius' journey from Meshev to Abatesh Island. Evelynn, Julius, and Iethre heading to the desert to provide aid to the home of the desert elves, navigating the challenging terrain and searching for resources.
- Disaster Mishap: The emergence of Sar'ach from beneath the sands of Synead, causing devastation and chaos in the midst of the war.
- Survival: Humanity's struggle to survive as the war takes a toll, leading to psychological trauma, suicide, and descent into madness.
Yellow represents ideas that haven't been fleshed out yet.
Orange represents Lukius' sub-plot line.
Red represents the Shatari sub-plot line.
Purple represents Eve's backstory sub-plot line.
Cyan represents Xoxtris' sub-plot line.
Blue represents Julius' sub-plot line.
Green represents ideas I really want to make work.
Grey represents neutral or miscellaneous highlights.
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