Letters From Sanda

All of you should have a look at this, Sanda sent us some sort of psychic transmission— thing interrupted the discogolf match myself and a few others were watching in the break room. Anyway— she directly addresses several specific personnel who I've sent this message to, replying to your letters. I'll follow up with my thoughts after you see this.

Transcription of Sanda's Message

You may all have spelled my name wrong, but that alone does not exclude you from my blessing. The holiday is for all to enjoy, no matter where they may call home— and yours is from a world unfamiliar to me, I’m guessing.
Emy
(Asked for lots of books)
Dearest, I hear your plea, and you shall receive— tomes and scrolls found in an ancient library beneath the Klugor sea.
Angela
(Asked for chocolate)
In this realm, we have heard no such thing of this “chocolate,” instead I shall give to you delectable gumskulls beloved by children in Yutux’tu.
Beanos
(Asked for shoe-polish-dipped ants and a DM's guide)
“Ants” are unfamiliar to me, however— to my surprise, we too have our own dungeon-master’s guide. So I gift to you with joy, the Guide to Running a Dungeon for Those Who Annoy, written by one Malak T’zokgoy.
TJ
(Asked for encouragement)
Encouragement is so easily lost, dear, so I shall send you an imp, to keep yours in check— and douse you in flame, should you object.
KajetanWrites
(Asked for world peace)
The kindest request is one for another, this is true, yet I know not which world contains you. So, in the spirit of the season, I shall grant your wish, and bring peace and equality to the war-torn Plash-26.
Jacklyn Ademal
(Asked for a lifetime supply of plastic bags)
Plastic was banned long ago, after a jumbo-sized bag killed my beloved Ar’lago. You must not have known, or you would dare not have asked— so I shall give you something better to last; a bottomless bag, sewn from the hairs of a vicious narlagash.
DaniAdventures' Kidlet
(Asked for a Nintendo Switch)
“Pokemon” does not mean a thing to my ear, but I do have something else for you, dear. Nintendo, in my realm, is a corporation that produces light switches— and so, I can grant your wish— that of receiving a Nintendo switch. (Note: do let me know if this one seems a bit too cruel or off as this is the only one that is an actual child to my knowledge, want to be careful)
The giving is complete with one final treat— knowledge that I am now watching, no matter how much you think yourselves discreet. Your devices will do nothing, I’m sure you will find, I know not where you come from or to whom you are aligned— but know this; one day the time will come for me to reach once more through the abyss.

The gifts she mentioned? Yeah, they turned up in the Pacific Garbage Patch, along with those meant for the rest of the world. Some crazed hermit took them a few hours ago— I wouldn't mess with him, he's somehow managed to fashion a gun out of milk cartons and soda cans. Wherever this Sanda comes from— her ability to properly transport things to our home seems to be limited. Maybe she needs space reindeer? Is she even in space? We're looking into it. For now, happy holidays— we didn't die this year.

— Bin Folks, Administrator