Barkanoids
A race of anthropomorphic canines. They're friendly, charming, sociable, and everyone loves them. What a bunch of mary sues.
Besides have you've seen a Barkanoid beg for food? How can you resist that face?
The cells are located deep within the esophagus; for frequencies shorter than visible light waves they must open up their throats wide enough to expose their cell lining to it's destination, this is accomplished by using a vestigial reflex when vocalizing, often referred to as a "Bork".
Due to their short lifespan and lack of foresight, Barkanoids generally don't have a structured society, they instead integrate themselves into other civilizations and provide support by shaping them through Pawsitivity. In return, most, if not all carbon based sentients are willing to provide for their needs.
Even in a largely areligious universe, the Barkanoid maintain a strong faith in The Old Masters, believing they'll one day return to solve the age old question that lie within their genes. They believe that once the question is answered, the revelation will usher in a new golden age for the Barkanoids.
The Future is Now is a sci-fi memepunk setting where humanity's eradicator plagiarized the internet, claimed humanity's only remnants as their own and created a universe full of humanaboos. Let's see what legacy the humans have left behind shall we?
They're good Barkanoids bront.The Barkanoids are an ancient and noble race of carbon based bipeds with canine like features. Despite their short lifespans, they've established long standing Barkanoids packs that span back to the dawn of enlightenment. Amongst carbon based lifeforms, Barkanoids have very few enemies due to their friendly demeanor and have a great presence in the known universe.
Besides have you've seen a Barkanoid beg for food? How can you resist that face?
Extraordinary Traits
... wait, they can what?! Laser barks?! All we do is make glue from our hair!Barkanoids have unique cells lining their esophagus capable of emitting various levels and frequencies of electromagnetic radiation.
Theories and Mechanisms
Most Dogtors theorize this trait originally evolved to neutralize pathogens in their food, ensuring Barknaoids can consume all manners of sustenance they find on the ground.The cells are located deep within the esophagus; for frequencies shorter than visible light waves they must open up their throats wide enough to expose their cell lining to it's destination, this is accomplished by using a vestigial reflex when vocalizing, often referred to as a "Bork".
Common uses for Borks
- Long distance communicate with radio-wave Borks when combined with radio receiver implants.
- Blind enemies with high intensity light Borks.
- Electronic interference warfare and jamming using EMP Borks.
- Radiation poisoning by using high intensity gamma Borks to ionize organic cells, often causing cellular deterioration and death without medical assistance.
- Barkanoids Dogtors often specialize in cancer radiation therapy due to their X-ray Borks and natural companionship abilities. Mortality and remission rates are significantly lower than standard treatments but are still concerning to Dogtors
Culture and Society
What is better? To be born a good boy or to become a good boy through great effort.Barkanoids are one of the most influential and respected race in the universe, and are known for their friendliness and Pawsitivity .
Due to their short lifespan and lack of foresight, Barkanoids generally don't have a structured society, they instead integrate themselves into other civilizations and provide support by shaping them through Pawsitivity. In return, most, if not all carbon based sentients are willing to provide for their needs.
Religion
You are not acting like the sentients The Old Masters knew you could beAll Barknoids have a genetic memory, one that contains a vague memories of "The Old Masters" who they claimed nurtured their race and tasked them to solve a philosophical quandary, one whose undiscovered answer plagues the greatest Barkanoid savants, "Who's a good boy?"
Even in a largely areligious universe, the Barkanoid maintain a strong faith in The Old Masters, believing they'll one day return to solve the age old question that lie within their genes. They believe that once the question is answered, the revelation will usher in a new golden age for the Barkanoids.
Ideology
The Barkanoid is simple. Be excellent to everyone and make sure they're happy. Be the Barkanoid the Old Masters knew you could be.Government
Barkanoids follow a Dogmocracy. Barkanoids tend to form tribe like packs of roughly a dozen members. Each tribe forms chooses a representative and they form larger groups. Representatives with similar agendas ally their respective packs with each other, often forming multiple political parties that work independently of each other. As a result, Barkanoids lack a central government.Social Structure
Barkanoids are very sociable creatures and seek the company of others, rarely found alone. Due to their keen facial recognition are able to adapt to nearly any social situation, as a result, they're commonly acceptable into nearly every social group, even amongst solitary races.Economy
Due to the tribal nature of the Barkanoids, they don't have a centralized economy. Although they are commonly found in more developed societies. Common professions are Dogtors, therapists, and other social worker careers. Although few work in guard detail.Taboo
- Solitude, they are gifted with social traits. Many see it as an affront to The Old Masters for not using their gift to help others.
- Hostility, Barkanoid community tend to be friendly and inclusive, they otherwise avoid hostile outsiders and will exile hostile Barkanoids if they refuse integration therapy.
Common Customs
- Barkanoids tend to pursue interpersonal relationships very quickly and eagerly.
- Mentorship, Barkanoids have a tendency to teach the importance of communication and showing affection to newer races, believing they had failed The Old Masters in the past for their inability to do so.
- Initiative, due to their short lifespan, they seek to make the most of their time, meeting and cheering up as many aliens as possible.
Military
If there are no Barkanoids in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they wentBarkanoids generally lack any form of military due their pacifistic nature but rely on integrating themselves into more well armed societies instead. Although the average adult Barkanoid can defend themselves with Borks, it is often nonlethal or takes time to harm others, as well easily negated by military technology, making their natural abilities unsuitable for firefights.
Table of Contents
Biology
Resembles humans with dog headsPhysique
Barkanoids are naturally fit, able to sprint quickly for short periods of time. They have a keen sense of smell and hearing that allows them to read both body language and pheromones of other races well.Features
Clubfoot, in order to emulate The Old Masters, they have genetically modified their natural paws to resemble that of a 5 fingered simians hand.Pouch, they have a marsupial-like pouch for protecting their litter. Although in modern time they're used for storing equipment such as the latest B'pple smart bone.
Genetic memory, all Barknoids contain vague latent memories of "The Old Masters" who they claimed instilled a philosophical quandry within all Barkanoids, "Who's a good boy?" A question that plagues the greatest Barknoid savants.
Unique idea for a species. I am not sure how they managed to make any empires lacking a central government, a military, and a good economy. The dog puns maybe are a bit forced.
Empire wasn't the right term, i've changed it to fit it better.
But it's good to hear that it seems forced it's suppose to be cheesy and campy in some regards due to the setting.