Jordan Carowitz: “In headline news, Senator Bulbous Seamsucker, head speaker of the 8th District, and charged with twelve counts of embezzlement, including the theft of community funds for Riverside Orphanage, was found dead today. City workers were called to clear a blockage of a major sewer pipe under I-414. That blockage happened to be the senator’s overweight body, wrapped in a pink unicorn costume.
Jillian Taylor: The untimely death of the senator means one less vote for the Charity Reclamation Bill 414, leaving the count at 632 votes for the bill, and 633 against. Good news for the loving charities of Clockworks City, who get another year of tax-free funding to support honorable causes.
Jordan Carowitz: That’s the seventh politician found dead this year, Jillian. Could this be a pattern we’re seeing?”
Jillian Taylor: “I’m not sure — but someone out there seems awfully mad about crooked politicians, eh?”
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