Elämäkäs

Without the help of my friends Morphiophelius Smith and Dax, this article wouldn’t be possible. Thanks guys.
History tells of the small jungle island of Elämäkäs, just off the coast of the Evil continent of Äsä-Illäriu. Most notably about the mythical people known as Undeloo—children born and protected by one of the ancient heroes of the Ithari. Problem is, this lush, fertile, isolated island hasn’t been talked about for more than 500 years.

The Challenge

Of all the continents of the world, it is Elämäkäs we know the least about. I’ve performed hundreds of searches concerning this single island off the coast of the Evil nation and the FAF doesn’t kick back a clue.
Do a search for inhabitants…nothing.
Animal life…nada.
Plants life…zilch.
Yet do a search on the electromagnetic spectrum, combined with what the Techno-Mägo call light-lines, and you’ll get readings off the charts having to do with that tiny land mass. Microwaves and radio waves from EHF, SHF, UHF, VHF, HF, MF, LF, VLF, ULF, SLFand ELF classes, and THEN it get’s weird.

Drone Research

Before I was escorted from my homeland, I had personal access to advanced research equipment, including long-range drones. Though it required committing to a crap detail off the shores of Isumiir, I was able to charter a P66 Tern Scout with a three week recording database.
For three days the drone circled the island recording every single inch of the land mass, before returning home.
The results?
Drone readings say the island doesn’t exist…

Don’t Drink and Port?

In the end, I asked Chuck what he knew of the island, which got him to smile. Like so many other things in life that just don’t make sense to those of us in the science and logistics department, that old mägo had the simple answer.
“Of COURSE the island exists, silly boy…did you ask Dax to take you?”
It took some time find my buddy and Dax didn’t exactly want to go, but a full night of drinking Blackseed Rum can achieve a great deal when applied at the right time. An open tab at the Roadkill Tavern soon earned me a round trip to Elämäkäs.
At least I THINK that’s where we ended up. The rest of the night is still a bit fuzzy, but I awoke the next morning on a beach somewhere I didn’t recognize. Doing a once-over I had all my cybernetic parts still attached (don’t ask) and Dax was nearby, snoring loudly with his head firmly inserted into the hollow of a log (don’t ask).

The Myths Are True

Growing up, I was privileged to have many conversations with Chuck. He was one of my fathers best friends and he would spend hours telling me stories of when the last Hero was alive and serving the world. Part of these stories hinted at the resting place of the host of there Ithari.
Elämäkäs.
A vibrant island overflowing with wildlife all perfectly honed to the presence of the Ithari and charged with a single purpose: to protect the small children of the gem, which he called Underlings. Tales spoke of the intelligence of the island, its massive trees and vines moving in the wind like a heartbeat, endless fresh water lakes and even insects…all listening for the presence of danger.
Leaving Dax to sleep off the drink, I unfolded my arm-camera and made my way to the forests edge, desirous to see more of the unique mountain formations in the distance.
That was a mistake.
I don’t know how to describe this, but the moment I stepped from the sandy beach into the brush, it went silent.
Now, I’m not talking about things getting quiet. I mean sound was suddenly swallowed up, in an instant. No birds, no insect chirping, no sound of running water. It was as if the whole island was suddenly aware of my specific presence and it was holding its breath to watch me.

That’s NOT Funny

I dunked Dax’s head into the ocean until he woke up and ported out butts home, where Chuck waited for me, laughing.
When I told him what had happened, he tapped his nose with a finger. “I wondered if you’d asked Dax to take you…I didn’t recommend you DO it! That’s the most powerful land upon this broad planet and the only one other than Underlings allowed to set foot on that fertile soil is he who wears the Ithari. No exceptions.”
Dax and I went back for more drinks.