Bath house graffiti
SO WHY DO THEY FEED US THIS SHIT?
BECAUSE THE PAYMASTER IS SHREWD,
THE LEGIONS DOGS HAVE BEEN STEWED.
TO THE GODS I PRAY,
AND TO THEM I COMMIT,
MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY LEGION.
AND THIS ENORMOUS SHIT.
WE DO WHAT THE CENTURION SUGGESTS,
FULFIL ALL HIS EARTHLY REQUESTS.
I'D HAPPILY COMPLETE ALL THE QUESTS.
HOWEVER, I'D BE DOING IT FOR SOME BREASTS!
POETRY SUCKS. WHEN WILL WE KILL AGAIN?
MY LEGION SUFFERS BAD LUCK,
THE CENTURION DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK.
BUT ALAS, MY LIFE I GIVE AND I'LL FREELY ADMIT.
OF THIS ROTTEN LEGION? I'D NEVER QUIT.
Bath house graffiti is a uniquely Legionary past time, the vast majority of a Legionaries life is spent in barracks or on patrols which can be an incredibly dull affair. As such Barracks and watch towers are usually found scrawled with barrack room profanities. Some of these awful poems are showcased above, usually relying on crude limericks and rude imagery, they give a glimpse into the life of a bored soldier on the frontier. Oddly enough you can get more of a glimpse into the real life of a Legion by reading the quality of it's poetry, if the poetry is about wanting to see various parts of scantily clad women or visiting the brothels you can get a glimpse of what is going on in the head of the Legionary. Conversely if the poetry is about how terrible the officer is or how terrible life is, it gives you an idea of what they must be going through.
Real Life InspirationThis article has been lovingly inspired by the following sources.
- Roman Graffiti on Wikipedia
- Ancient Pompeii Graffiti
- And the much more modern, USMC Shitter Graffiti