It Takes Time <To Be Properly Taken Apart> - Chapter 07
Chapter 7
Chapter Length: 3,000~ wordsRegrets
Several hours later, Punica made her way down the main corridor of the Rending Talon. She had needed to spend a small amount of time familiarising herself with the door controls without Raqi there to operate them for her, but had gotten them down soon enough. Shortly after that, though, she had run into another problem: she'd realised she had no idea where Raqi's room actually was. It took her a while to find. She more or less had to comb the ship from back to front, knocking on doors one at a time and checking for any response, before she eventually came upon the one in which her former captor was present. In the end, she did not need to knock to be certain this was it; the secateurs outside of the door, alongside the small vine trimmings scattered across the floor gave it away. Punica raised one hand to knock on the door. There was a moment of trepidation before the composite limb actually made contact with the frame, and she knocked gently on the door twice. "Raqi?" She called out, her voice as soft as she could make it. "It's me. I've finished making your medication." She waited for several moments, but no response came. She knocked again. "Raqi?" Still nothing. Suddenly, her core dropped. The thought crossed her mind that she had just left a clearly mentally unstable sophont on her own, without supervision, for several entire hours; in a ship where she could materialise more or less whatever she wanted at will. Surely she wouldn't- She didn't finish her thought. She couldn't finish it. "Raqi," she said, her voice growing louder with urgency. "If you can hear me, I am going to come inside. Let me know if you do not want me to and I won't, but otherwise, I am coming in." Still no reply. She pressed on the button to open the door to the room. The door slid open without resistance, and she surged quickly inside, core pulsating with fear as she did. The moment that she entered, the hundreds of minute ocular receptors that lined every one of her vines began combing the interior of the room; innumerable points of vision glancing feverishly around, desperate to catch sight of the sophont. For a moment, Punica's senses filled with dread as the first visual inputs she received were simply of furniture and empty space, and she failed to identify anything that resembled Raqi Marr. It was only after almost a full second that she noticed a stray yellow-and-blue feathertip poking up from beneath a heavy cover at the bottom of the room. She dared not speak a word as she made her way over to the feather. Her auditory receptors thrummed with the almost deafening sound of her own discordant rhythms, the pulsing of her own core having grown so loud as to block out all other sound in the room. She leaned closer and closer, stretching her body further upwards so that she could get a better view of the feather- Her line of sight shifted beyond a certain threshold, and in an instant, relief crashed over her like water on a newly terraformed world. Nestled before her under the covers, her eyes shut and only her head visible, was Raqi. The girl was safe and sound; she had just been obscured by the duvet which she was buried beneath, and Punica had only been able to see one of her feathers poking out from underneath it. The affini pulled herself back together for a moment. She shut her humanoid form's eyes, disabling the visual input from her other appendages, and leaned heavily against a nearby wall. She began allowing her humanoid form to unravel, not needing to worry about being seen in her true form on account of Raqi being asleep. Bit by bit, she gradually reverted into a mass of vines, flowers and thorns that spread out to occupy the entire floor of the room she and the xenosophont were in. She remained that way for a long time. All the while, however, she kept the receptors upon one vine open and pointed at Raqi; just in case she were to stir or show some other sign of regaining consciousness. In the end, though, the sophont showed no signs of waking. The only time she did move was to wiggle around underneath the cover, causing it to slide a little ways down and reveal part of her shoulders. She was sleeping fully dressed, still in the same black-and-green dress she had been wearing since Punica had met her. The affini wondered if perhaps she had been too tired to change out of it, and the thought sent a pang of guilt through her. But before she could begin spiralling again, she noticed something else. The girl's arms were folded together, appearing as if she were holding something. Shifting her vine around to get a better look, she saw that Raqi was indeed holding an object. It was relatively large, around half as thick as her own torso, and a similar length. Most of it was buried under the covers and so she could not get a good look at it, but what she could see was enough to tell her that it appeared to be some kind of stuffed toy. 'Plushies', as they were commonly known, were extremely popular within the Compact's floret population. Florets of many races seemed to absolutely adore cuddling with them - particularly Terrans, from what she had heard - and she could recall many a time when she had seen an owner taking their pet out on a walk where the pet had been holding one; usually in whichever hand they were not using to grasp onto one of their owner's vines. The purpose of this presumably stemmed from how many social species apparently found the act of holding or rubbing up against them comforting; the action prompting the release of chemicals similar to that caused by physical contact with a member of their own species, albeit at a lesser intensity. Raqi, it seemed, had fallen fast asleep while clutching the creature. Her chest rose and fell slowly, every other part of her body remaining still and silent. Every now and then as Punica watched her, one of her fingers would twitch, or she would make a very slight adjustment to her posture, but she otherwise remained completely motionless. It did not take the affini long to decide not to wake her up. Instead, she used a single vine to quietly place the container of medication on her bedside table; making sure not to make a single sound as she did so. It would be easy enough for her to take it when she awoke, she reasoned- and if she required help, she could always seek her out. That was the practical reason she gave herself for the decision. But as she turned and exited the room, and a thought crossed her mind, she quickly realised it had little to do with that in truth. I am glad that she can sleep, she thought. The thought cut to her core. The moment it had finished formulating in her mind, she suddenly began to feel nauseous. The feelings she had been bottling up for the last two hours in order to focus on making the medication started to bubble back up to the surface, and she felt her form starting to quiver once again. She forced her feelings down, at least until she was out of earshot of Raqi's room. Then, once she was certain that the sophont would not be able to hear her, she began to wilt.
Punica did not sleep at all that night. She lay awake in the makeshift bed she had constructed for herself in an empty area of space in one of the back corners of the garden room, surrounded by a thin carpet of dead and dying leaves, as well as more than a few detached vines and flowers. A much more substantial portion of her biomass than would normally have been affected by wilting had fallen off from her form on account of the damage that she had sustained while in hard vacuum. While it had not harmed her core, Punica's foliage and grafts were both very poorly adapted to the cold, and her body had suffered substantial damage that had yet to fully heal. The state of her corporeal vessel mattered very little to her in that moment, though. Her focus was elsewhere; in particular on the events that had taken place earlier that day. As she reviewed the memories of what had happened, one thought looped around and around in her mind on repeat: What have I done? She had never, in her life, made a mistake this catastrophic. The way that she had played out her earlier interaction with Raqi- She did not think that she could physically have handled it worse, short of if she had actually injected the girl. No- that would have been better. If she hadn't hesitated, if she had committed to the plan that she had made at the start of the day and gone through with it, then there would have been no issue. As things stood, though, it was highly likely that she had just traumatised Raqi. Not highly likely; all but certain. To put a sophont in a situation like that, where they felt as if they were being threatened with death, was the exact antithesis of what the affini wished for. This... This was why I chose to become a researcher, rather than take on a position that would put me in close contact with xenosophont, she thought. I did it so that I could avoid ever having to make a decision like this. How... How in spite of that did I still end up in this position? Her leaves had begun shaking of their own accord. As she sat there, her head was slowly lowering in height. Her human form was coming apart from the base, gradually unravelling into a tangled mess of vines and plant matter. I never wanted florets for this exact reason... because I knew I couldn't be trusted with something like this. And somehow... Somehow I still ended up freezing it over anyway. Her last remaining hand slammed into the wall by the side of her bed, leaving a dent in the frame. A light flicked on in the room a moment later, and immediately, the wall began to repair itself; the damaged material flowing and moving back into place, soon back to appearing as if it had never been struck. Punica stared vacantly ahead as it happened, watching as the wall went back to normal. The sight sparked a thought in her mind. If I took her back to the Longbough... I would have the tools available to remove the memory of this from her. I could make it as if this never happened. I could fix- Wasn't that exactly what she had just tried to do? And look how it had ended. The thought broke her. Her form collapsed all at once, vines and leaves and flowers falling down into a mess on the ground. Her core was left open and exposed, a faintly pulsating yellow light in the darkness. She remained that way until morning.
Locke - Intersidera
Locke
[Deleted Image #34689234]
Raqi Marr
Locke
What the fuck is wrong with you
Actually kys
What the fuck is wrong with you
Actually kys
Locke
LMFAO
Raqi Marr
I'm not joking
Genuinely walk out of the airlock
Genuinely walk out of the airlock
Locke
User #Locke [Deleted message ID #34689234]
I took it away, sorry ~w~
I took it away, sorry ~w~
Raqi Marr
Cunt
User #Locke was blocked
User #Locke was blocked
----------------------------------------------
Locke - Intersidera
Locke
>.> hey, I really want to apologize over before.
I am used to fight off my own stuffs by memeing and trying to laugh it off but it was distasteful. I mean it, sorry.
I am used to fight off my own stuffs by memeing and trying to laugh it off but it was distasteful. I mean it, sorry.
Raqi Marr
It was
Think very carefully before you do anything like this again in future, because frankly Locke, if you do something like that again I am just gonna get rid of you
I keep people as friends because I can trust them to not randomly have a total mental seizure and send me pictures of leveili after I just had a very unpleasant night of dealing with one
If you are too stupid to even realise that doing something like that is not a good idea, you have no place around me
Think very carefully before you do anything like this again in future, because frankly Locke, if you do something like that again I am just gonna get rid of you
I keep people as friends because I can trust them to not randomly have a total mental seizure and send me pictures of leveili after I just had a very unpleasant night of dealing with one
If you are too stupid to even realise that doing something like that is not a good idea, you have no place around me
Locke
I mean it, Raqi: I didn't think it'd have that effect.
I honest to gods don't go around sending shit if I know it's going to hit people that hard >.> I thought joking over it was a good idea cuz it has worked on me before, but it clearly wasn't, and I shouldn't have been that tone deaf. I am sorry.
I don't want to lose that trust with you either
I'm very very sorry over it
Last thing I want is to make you think I'm no longer trustworthy
I honest to gods don't go around sending shit if I know it's going to hit people that hard >.> I thought joking over it was a good idea cuz it has worked on me before, but it clearly wasn't, and I shouldn't have been that tone deaf. I am sorry.
I don't want to lose that trust with you either
I'm very very sorry over it
Last thing I want is to make you think I'm no longer trustworthy
Raqi Marr
It's a bit late for that
Locke
I'm sorry >.<
Raqi Marr
We've known each other for three years now.
If you have not in that amount of time picked up that I am not the type of person to respond well to this sort of thing, I do not know what to tell you
Other than "pay more attention next time"
If you have not in that amount of time picked up that I am not the type of person to respond well to this sort of thing, I do not know what to tell you
Other than "pay more attention next time"
Locke
I'm sorry
I really am
I really am
Raqi Marr
Seriously, the shit I have to put up with from you people
Why the fuck do I have to take this shit from the people who are supposed to be my friends
Why can't I just have friends who are actually normal people, instead of dipshits who do stuff like this?
Why the fuck do all of my relationships have to be so inequal?
Why the fuck do I have to take this shit from the people who are supposed to be my friends
Why can't I just have friends who are actually normal people, instead of dipshits who do stuff like this?
Why the fuck do all of my relationships have to be so inequal?
I would never make a mistake like this, so why would he?
Why am I the only one who understands how not to do these things?
Why can't other people see it, when it's so obvious?
It isn't hard not to hurt people, so why does everyone keep doing it to me?
Why do all of the people I care about keep hurting me so much?
Why am I the only one who understands how not to do these things?
Why can't other people see it, when it's so obvious?
It isn't hard not to hurt people, so why does everyone keep doing it to me?
Why do all of the people I care about keep hurting me so much?
Why won't they stop doing it?
Why do even the people I love hurt me so much?
Why can't they see what they're doing to me?
Do they just not care? Is there something wrong with them?
There's no way they can't know. They have to know.
that means they must be doing it on purpose
they're doing it on purpose to hurt me
they're all bad, and they all want to hurt me
everyone just wants to hurt me
If that's the case, then I'll have to fucking do it to them firstttttt tttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
Raqi Marr woke up. It was possibly more accurate to say that 'she' existed again. From her perspective, she had gone from nothingness at all- she did not currently remember what her last memory was- to abruptly experiencing half a dozen unpleasant symptoms all at once. Her body felt cold; her appendages were filled with pins and needles, and there was a familiar sinking feeling in her chest that she often felt whenever she had awoken from a bad dream. Her awareness took a second to fade in as well, a hard-to-describe but extremely distinctive sensation that usually accompanied awakening mere moments prior to what would otherwise have been death in a dream. It always took her brain a second to register that she wasn't actually dead or otherwise traumatized, that what had just happened wasn't real, that she was actually safe and sound in her bed, and the three or four seconds before that process completed were often markedly unpleasant. In this case, though, the memory of whatever had just finished happening to her seemed to slip quickly from her grasp, as dreams sometimes did, and she was left only with the physical aftereffects it had bestowed upon her. In addition to the pins and needles, her throat was dry, the muscles in her fingers and hands felt over strained - presumably from clenching while in bed - and she was fairly sure she had a new bruise on her knee from kicking the side of her bed frame. Her head also throbbed with a dull ache, the kind of which she often experienced while sleeping that dissipated an hour or so after awakening and taking the time to rehydrate, and her stomach was rumbling fiercely. All in all, she felt like shit; which, for her standards meant this was only a slightly-below-average waking up experience. She let out a small sigh. One of those nights, then. She rolled half-consciously onto her side, not savouring the thought of having to get up. Instinctively, she moved to stretch her left leg- and as she did, she felt a telltale tensing of the muscles in her calves. Adrenaline shot through her head, and a thought raced through her mind: Oh, Inos- FUCK OFF! Her morning was immediately downgraded to 'abject garbage', as her leg promptly decided that now was the perfect time to get cramp.
Story Recommendation: Black Start, by Annabool I really don't know how to do this one justice. I've tried rewriting this recommendation I think three or four times now, and nothing I've gone with has actually felt right, so instead I'm just going to try a simpler approach. Black Start, despite only being a little over 20,000 words, is probably in my top #5 HDG stories. It is an incredibly paced, tight, and gripping read, which depicts some of the darker parts of the setting that are very rarely explored in other stories. The plot shows us what can happen when a member from a race with as much power as the affini makes even a minor mistake, and the devastating consequences that can have for an individual sophont. It is in many ways a deeply unnerving read, but I actually found the ending to be... kind of sweet, personally? When I mentioned this to one of my friends, I got told that I must be incredibly cooked for thinking that, though; so what do I know. Overall, a must-read for anyone who enjoys the horror parts of HDG as a setting. Final Summary: Gave me the confidence I needed to feel safe touching on darker topics in this story, plus also made me think very differently about text colours in written mediums.