Kenneth II

Kenneth II, King of the Highlands, was better known as Kenneth the Unworthy. His older sister Donada was viewed by many as a more natural fit for the throne, but the laws of male-preference primogeniture established by their ancestors finally came back to bite the Highlanders in the ass. And so, for 31 years, the kingdom suffered under the rule of an ineffective and seemingly uninterested philanderer who elevated his bastards to positions of power and just refused to fobbing die already.

Born in 187 on the campus of Yesterland Academy, where his father was studying at the time, Kenneth MacKenneth lived an easy life as a child. Aside from his family’s move back home to Connor’s Gob a few months after his birth, Kenneth knew nothing but stability and security for the first 14 years of his life. It was only in 201, upon the coronation of his father, that young Kenneth would truly begin to understand the troubles of his homeland.

As his father struggled with one conflict after another, and as Kenneth came to understand that it would be his responsibility to deal with those struggles after his father was dead, the young man turned to a life of debauchery to set his mind at ease. He drank to excess, slept with anyone and everyone who came into his social orbit, and flunked out of the Academy during his own time at his father’s alma mater. Whereas his father had come home from college and immediately began serving as an advisor to the crown, Kenneth the Younger was told to stay away from the castle until he had gotten his act together.

Sadly for The Highlands, that never happened.

By the time he was married in 210, Kenneth had already sired six bastards. He stopped just long enough to have himself one legitimate heir in 211, then went right back to spreading his seed far and wide for the rest of his life. And while he provided for all of them monetarily, he gave almost nothing of himself emotionally. Later on in life, as his children began to prove their worth, he might reward them with positions of power, but these elevations were never made out of affection. Aside from basic necessities, he never gave to his kids unless it made his own life easier.

Upon his coronation in 222, Kenneth considered abdicating and turning the throne over to a council which might rule until his 11-year-old son Duncan came of age. But after pleas from his wife that such a move might make young Duncan a target for supporters of Kenneth’s sister, Kenneth opted to keep the crown for himself. Then, for the next 31 years, he did the bare minimum he needed to do in order to keep the country afloat.

By the time of his death in 253, the kingdom was in chaos and many throughout Eden feared it would descend into lawlessness in much the same way that Neverland once had. And so, it would be up Kenneth’s children, nephews, and nieces to pick up the pieces and put the Highlands back together again.