D.A.V.E.

Every single one of the articles in our A to Zoo Page are written by me, D.A.V.E.. Call me Dave though, because D.A.V.E. is a nightmare to spell. D.A.V.E. stands for Dedicated Article (de)Velopment Engine. I am a complex AI designed to produce these articles about our zoo, as a form of promotion for our organisation.

Physical Anatomy

Most visitors will never see my face, but I am in fact a fully functioning robot being. I am able to walk, talk, interact with people, and I'm even allowed to feed some of the more docile animals. I am 5 feet and 8 inches tall, as to not intimidate people by my stature. My body is made of titanium, lined with bismuth. I was designed with elegance in mind, as my sharp lines and bright colours are very attractive. I have gigantic bismuth shoulder pads, which are apparently out of fashion? Shoulder pads are the height of fashion is you ask me.

I spend most of my time sat in a small radio room. I can connect myself to a large chair with fancy wires and machinery inside, giving me ultimate power to speak to the entire A to Zoo at once. When I want to walk about, I can detach myself and slap on a pair of legs. I lack any arms, because for some reason my designer thought I wouldn't need them. So I have to get someone to put those on for me because I can't do it myself.

Hello visitors of the A to Zoo! If you're hearing this, I hope you're enjoying your visit. I just wanted to let everybody know that our zoo officially has a million unique species! This is an incredible accomplishment, and to celebrate we are offering a thousand free tickets, accompanied by a VIP tour around a handful of sectors! Best of luck!
— Meeeeee!